After surviving my own near death experience, I see now what a bastard I've been.
[the crew is stunned
You mean: lazy, selfish bastard.
That's absolutely right, Bob, I stand corrected.
Make that: fat, lazy, selfish, selfish bastard.
Actually, I was going to throw in ego-maniacal.
Nah, too wordy. How does 'self centered purple creepazoid' grab ya?