The Simpsons (TV Series)

Moe'N'a Lisa (2006)

J.K. Simmons: J. Jonah Jameson

Quotes 

• J. Jonah Jameson : [turns off the TV]  Aw, that's sweet. I hate sweet! I need photos! Photos of Spider-Man!

  Editor's Assistant : This is a a poetry journal!

  J. Jonah Jameson : Okay then, *poems* about Spider-Man. And I want them finished before you start. And before you finish, get me some coffee! And the poems should have the following rhyme scheme: A-B-B-A-A-B-B-A-C-D-E-C-D-E. What are you waiting for, Chinese New Year?

• Editor's Assistant : [about Moe's poem]  Chief, we just got a submission from a brilliant poet no one's ever heard of.

  J. Jonah Jameson : [reading it]  Huh, huh. Hmmm! Genius! Pay him nothing and run it on the cover.

  J. Jonah Jameson : [picking up the phone]  Stop the presses! Send my wife some flowers and bring me an advil! What do you mean you don't work for me? You're hired! Now that you're hired, you're fired! Now that you don't work here, we can be friends! Now that we're friends, how come you never call? Some friend you are!

  J. Jonah Jameson : [hangs up phone]  God I love this business.