Ryan Howard: A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa, and my cousin, Mufasa, was... He was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests, and we all took it really hard. All of us kind of in the audience of what happened.
Michael Scott: Do you want to talk about it any more?
Ryan Howard: Oh, it would probably take me, like, an hour and a half to tell that whole story.
Michael Scott: Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.
Michael Scott: [talking about Ed Truck's death] Can you imagine how much blood there was? If it happened right here, it would reach all the way to reception. Probably get on Pam.
Phyllis: Okay, that's enough.
Michael Scott: What?
Stanley: We do not want to hear about this.
Michael Scott: Well, you know what? I didn't want to hear about it either, Stanley, but I did and now I can't stop picturing it. He leaves work, he's on his way home... Wham! His cappa is detated from his head.
Stanley: You have just spit on my face.
Dwight Schrute: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
Andy Bernard: What are we doing? What's the game? I want in.
Jim Halpert: Oh, there's no game. We're just trying to get these chips for Karen.
Andy Bernard: Did you check the vending machine?
Karen Filippelli: Oh, the vending machines. How did we miss that?
Jim Halpert: I have no idea. We went right for the copier. And then we checked the fax machine.
Karen Filippelli: Yeah, nothing there.
Andy Bernard: Did you check your butt?
Michael Scott: There are five stages to grief, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. And right now, out there, they are all denying the fact that they're sad, and that's hard, and it's making them all angry. And it is my job to get them all the way through to acceptance, and, if not acceptance, then just depression. If I can get them depressed, then I'll have done my job.
Michael Scott: I am going to throw you this ball. When you catch the ball, I want you to say the name of a person very important to you, somebody really special, who died, and then I want you to say how they died. And you may cry if you like. That is encouraged. Let me just start. Let me show you how this works. I catch the ball. I lost Ed Truck and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. And, at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer. And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone. And I am crying, and nobody can hear me because I am terribly, terribly, terribly alone.