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"House M.D." Fools for Love (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

Quotes

Dr. Gregory House: [about Wilson] If he's not hitting that, why is she here?

Dr. Allison Cameron: Because I'm hitting that, and it's totally hot.

[House, Forman and Chase look amazed]

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Dr. James Wilson: Your real fear is me having a good relationship.

Dr. Gregory House: Yes, it keeps me up at night. That and the Loch Ness Monster, global warming, evolution, other fictional concepts.

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Michael Tritter: [to House] Just take a swab and get it tested, OK?

Dr. Gregory House: Sorry. Already met this month's quota of useless tests for stubborn idiots.

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Dr. Gregory House: Infectious or environmental... all we have to do is check out parasites, viruses, bacteria, fungi, prions, radiation, toxins, chemicals, or it's Internet porn related. I'll check the Internet, you guys get the rest of the stuff.

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Dr. Eric Foreman: [to House] My exes have usually been black, so what? Its not a racial thing, its cultural. I have more in common with them, like, I assume you only date emotionally stunted bigots.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Pay attention to me!

Dr. Gregory House: Sorry, that would make it harder to ignore you.

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Michael Tritter: I don't wanna sue you.

Dr. Gregory House: Good.

Michael Tritter: I want to beat the crap out of you.

Dr. Gregory House: Less good.

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Dr. Gregory House: [looking in waste basket] No coffee cups. No caffeine good for baby.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Coffee cups are in the other waste basket. Baby is in your head.

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Dr. James Wilson: [after House acts rude towards him and Wendy] Why so rude?

Dr. Gregory House: You sprinted through three bad marriages, into an affair with a dying patient, now a naughty nurse? How many more failed relationships are we both going to have to deal with before you learn to love yourself? And I mean that in a literal way.

Dr. James Wilson: It's amazing how you can not only know it's a relationship, but that it's a bad relationship based on nothing but nothing.

Dr. Gregory House: I know you.

Dr. James Wilson: I'm not with her. Not even trying.

Dr. Gregory House: You're lying to me. That's interesting.

Dr. James Wilson: Well, as long as it's interesting.

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Foreman] We can spend all day arguing right and wrong. Give me the hundred bucks.

Dr. Eric Foreman: We didn't bet.

Dr. Gregory House: We could spend all day arguing whether we bet or not. Give me the hundred bucks.

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Wilson after Jeremy refuses the treatment] Great job. Why don't you just shoot him in the head?

Dr. James Wilson: Hold on, that gives me an idea. You know what could save this couple? Lots of misdirected sarcasm.

Dr. Gregory House: They're dead. Yelling at you might prevent you from screwing up like this...

Dr. James Wilson: I didn't screw up! I did my job.

Dr. Gregory House: Your job was to get the biopsy.

Dr. James Wilson: No, it was to present the patient with his options.

Dr. Gregory House: Two options: biopsy or no biopsy. He chose the third: no treatment. How do you even do that?

Dr. James Wilson: Remember when you used to just weave elaborate conspiracy theories about my love life? Those were such good times.

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Dr. Gregory House: Why does he have it? What does it tell us?

Dr. Allison Cameron: Small cell vasculitis?

Dr. Gregory House: Good. Now let's hear it again, but now with a more environmental or infectious feeling.

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Dr. Eric Foreman: They were trying to escape his evil, pill-popping racist dad. You would have liked him. We should do another biopsy.

Dr. Gregory House: How do you know the dad was racist?

Dr. Eric Foreman: He beat up his son for dating a black girl. Extrapolated from that...

Dr. Gregory House: You see racism everywhere. Maybe he just didn't like this black girl.

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Dr. Robert Chase: Hey, Foreman, can you wear the beeper for a couple of hours this weekend? What?

Dr. Eric Foreman: We just destroyed two peoples' lives.

Dr. Robert Chase: I'm not allowed to run errands anymore?

Dr. Eric Foreman: I'd like to see some sign that it affects you or on that you recognize that it affects other people.

Dr. Robert Chase: So are you going to wear the beeper or not?

Dr. Eric Foreman: Sorry, can't.

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Tritter when he gets pulled over on his motorcycle] Oh, come on. This isn't because I was speeding. It's because I'm Latino.

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Tritter] I'm a cripple who works in a hospital. You don't think I've got a valid prescription?

Michael Tritter: Arrogant son-of-a-bitch like you? Oh, I bet you didn't bother.

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Dr. Allison Cameron: Married couple, same disease. They either got it from each other or in the same place.

Dr. Gregory House: Infectious or environmental... all we have to do is check out parasites, viruses, bacteria, fungi, prions, radiation, toxins, chemicals or it's internet porn related. I'll check the internet, you guys cover the rest of the stuff.

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Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Sometimes an ass is just an ass

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Dr. Allison Cameron: 20-year-old married African-American female couldn't breathe. Anaphylaxis-like throat swelling.

Dr. Gregory House: Children?

Dr. Allison Cameron: You think pregnancy would explain the...

Dr. Gregory House: It explains the marriage. Who the hell gets married at 20?

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Dr. Gregory House: [about Wilson, who's talking to a nurse] Who's he talking to?

Dr. Allison Cameron: What?

Dr. Gregory House: It's got an ass. Technically, that makes it a who.

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Michael Tritter: [to House] I was waiting two hours out there.

Dr. Gregory House: Fascinating. Have you considered a career as a memoirist?

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Dr. Eric Foreman: Allergic reaction to the floroquinolone.

Dr. Robert Chase: We should switch her to a different antibiotic.

Dr. Gregory House: Why?

Dr. Robert Chase: We can't treat the salmonella unless...

Dr. Gregory House: Salmonella? That was a total stretch.

Dr. Eric Foreman: Man, why does that sound so familiar? You think it's 'cuz I said it about an hour ago?

Dr. Gregory House: Then, it was a dumb thing to say. Now, it's smart.

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Dr. Gregory House: How much morphine is the husband on?

Dr. Robert Chase: We can't increase it anymore. His respirations are depressed.

Dr. Gregory House: Decrease it! Drugs cloud people's judgment. Cold turkey the sucker.

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Dr. Gregory House: How is that unethical? It'll lead to a diagnosis.

Dr. Allison Cameron: It's leading to the torture of a husband on the off-chance he'll allow a procedure on another person.

Dr. Gregory House: Which will lead to a diagnosis. Didn't I just say that?

Dr. Robert Chase: Give it up. Foreman and Cameron are too ethical and I'm too scared of getting sued.

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Dr. Robert Chase: We can't babysit House all day.

Dr. Allison Cameron: I'll tell Cuddy to put a nurse by his room.

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Dr. Gregory House: [to Jeremy] It's a pretty smart plan, Jerry, but I'm on to you. There's only one good reason to kill the biopsy: you poisoned your wife and don't want the coppers to get wise.

Jeremy: No!

Dr. Gregory House: Oh, then you're just a moron.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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