- Elvira Best: Well, here we are. Lets start having fun.
- Daniel Best: It's kinda hard with you. You always tell me: don't touch things, don't get my clothes dirty, don't hurt myself.
- Elvira Best: All right Daniel, I may have been a little overprotective before, but today's different. Touch things, get dirty, hurt yourself. Whatever it takes to have a good time.
- Parker Tillman: Marshal, do you realize what he and his... arithmetic friends have done to my salloon? They broke all the glasses, stuck their bare feet in the soup du jour, then went upstairs and slaughtered a goat in the bridal suite. If the couple hadn't been so busy, they would've been furious!
- Elvira Best: [trapped in a cave with a rescue party trying to dig them out] They keep soundin' further and further away.
- Daniel Best: What can that mean?
- Elvira Best: [sighs] The pile must be getting thicker. I guess the more they dig, the more falls down.
- Daniel Best: Maybe if they stopped digging, we'd have a chance.
- Daniel Best: Hey, look what else I found! One of the outlaws must have worn a corset.
- Elvira Best: Ugh. Well, I don't think so, dear. Must have been worn by one of their lady visitors.
- Daniel Best: Why would they have a lady visitor?
- Elvira Best: Eh... well, they probably got lonesome and wanted someone to talk to.
- Daniel Best: Then why would she take off her corset?
- Elvira Best: To be comfortable. The outlaws wanted everyone to be comfortable.
- Daniel Best: I wonder how much she charged to make the whole gang comfortable?
- Elvira Best: You're right, Daniel, one of the outlaws must have worn a corset.