Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Who's Vod Kanockers (2006)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jake Harper : If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where do girls with only one leg work at?

  Jake Harper : I-Hop!

  Charlie Harper : [Chuckling]  Where tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning!

• Steven Tyler : [to Charlie, who's picking a fight over Tyler's voice exercises]  Let's see what you got, jingle balls!

  Charlie Harper : Okay. I'm going to rip off your big, fat lips and use them to kiss my ass!

• Rose : Boy, you look like hell.

  Charlie Harper : That's strange. I feel like crap.

• Charlie Harper : [Berta reaches for the ringing phone]  If that's a bookie or a woman, you know what to say.

  Berta : Harper residence... Sorry, he's dead.

  [hangs up the phone] 

  Berta : Interesting. No one ever calls back to find out where to send flowers.

  Jake Harper : Touché!

• Charlie Harper : Feelings are like your mother's breasts: you know where they are, but they're best left unfelt.