"Scrubs" My Best Friend's Baby's Baby and My Baby's Baby (TV Episode 2006) - Zach Braff as Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian

J.D. : Should I get a baby too?

Turk : I'm a little preoccupied right now. Why don't you ask your unicorn?

J.D. : Ah, this is way over Justin's head... he's never been in love. Not real love, anyway...
Dr. Kim Briggs : J.D., we have to talk about all of our pregnancy options, even if they make us uncomfortable- There's one way of dealing with this that no one's mentioned yet... the "A" word.

J.D. : I know.

[as Kim speaks too]

J.D. : Appletinis.

Dr. Kim Briggs : [as J.D. Speaks too] Abortion... what?

J.D. : I though that we could discuss abortion over Appletinis.

Nurse Laverne Roberts : Did somebody just say "abortion"?

Dr. Kim Briggs : Laverne, with all due respect, this is none of your business... or Jesus'.

Nurse Laverne Roberts : [puts a Jesus statue on the counter] I believe he would beg to differ...

[J.D.' fantasy starts]

Jesus : She's right, J.D., every life is precious.

J.D. : But what if having this baby is a huge mistake for us?

Jesus : [sighs tiredly, massages his own eyes and stretches from stress] OK... I'm gonna make this real simple: no abortion, OK?

J.D. : But what if...

Jesus : [in a high-pitched voice] No abortions...

J.D. : Let me finish... what if the parents were, like, abusive drug-addicts who would neglect their kid?

Jesus : Oh, well, in that case it'd be OK.

J.D. : Really?

Jesus : No abortions! How are you not getting this?

[J.D.'s fantasy ends]

Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian