How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Aldrin Justice (2006)
Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby
Photos
Quotes
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Hammond Druthers : [about the model trees Ted made] Too green.
Ted Mosby : Too green?
Hammond Druthers : I want them to be more of a natural brown color. Almost a brunette. Also, they need to be bushier.
Ted Mosby : Bushier?
Hammond Druthers : I want this tower to emerge from a thicket of unkempt brunette shrubbery. Can you picture it, Ted?
Ted Mosby : I can't unpicture it.
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Ted Mosby : [after Lily takes Hammond Druthers' baseball] Give him his ball back right now. People are going to get fired!
Lily Aldrin : No, they're not. It's just a tantrum, Ted. I saw this in kindergarten all the time.
Ted Mosby : This isn't kindergarten. Mr Druthers is an adult, and he wants his ball back.
Lily Aldrin : All right, I'll give it back if you show him your plans.
Ted Mosby : No. You'll give it back or you're fired
Lily Aldrin : I'm sorry, Ted. I just can't do that.
Ted Mosby : Then you're fired.
Lily Aldrin : Fine. Here's the ball. At least you have one now.
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Ted Mosby : I thought you said it was going to be a piece of cake. I remember, because you were eating a piece of cake at the time, and you said, "My class is going to be this."
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Ted Mosby : Lily, this is Mr. Druthers, the head architect on the project. Lily's going to be our new office assistant.
Hammond Druthers : Ah.
Lily Aldrin : Nice to meet you.
Hammond Druthers : Isn't it?
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Marshall Eriksen : My professor's like, the toughest grader I've ever seen. She had like a bad divorce this summer and now she's taking it out on us. To tell you the truth, I think she just needs to get laid.
Barney Stinson : [perking up] Really? Laid, you say?
Marshall Eriksen : You wouldn't be into her. She's, like, in her late 40s.
Barney Stinson : She hot?
Marshall Eriksen : Yeah, I guess she's kind of hot, yeah.
Barney Stinson : And she's looking for some action. Sounds to me like she could be a cougar.
Robin Scherbatsky : A what?
Barney Stinson : A cougar. An older woman, usually in her 40s or 50s, single and on the prowl for a younger man.
Ted Mosby : What's a woman in her 60s or 70s? A turtle?
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Ted Mosby : Hey, thanks for telling me to stand up to Druthers and pitch my idea. Seriously, none of this would have happened if it weren't for you.
Lily Aldrin : Oh. You know what, Ted? That was very nice. You have earned these screws back.
[Gives him a handful of screws]
Lily Aldrin : Don't sit in your desk chair until you've put them back in.
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Robin Scherbatsky : [about Lily taking things from people who act mean] Yeah. It's her own personal form of justice. Did you tell him about that time at the Gap?
Lily Aldrin : Oh, that was a good one. This sales guy was rude to Robin, so I took a pair of khakis.
Robin Scherbatsky : [to Ted] I gave them to you for your birthday.
Ted Mosby : So I've been walking around in stolen khakis?
Lily Aldrin : I prefer to call them "justice khakis."
Ted Mosby : That's not justice. It's shoplifting, and it's a crime.
Lily Aldrin : So is being mean.