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"Family Guy" Road to Rupert (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Quotes

Lois Griffin: Who wants a glass of fresh lemonade?

Peter Griffin: Not me! What I want is a fresh glass of better daughter!

[Peter splashes Meg with lemonade]

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Peter Griffin: There is no Peter, there is only Zuul!

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Brian Griffin: [after carjacking someone in Aspen, Colorado] Did we just car-jack someone?

Stewie Griffin: We sure did, Brian. We sure did.

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Brian Griffin: [Brian singing] Take to the highway, won't you lend me your name.

Stewie Griffin: Who sings that song?

Brian Griffin: James Taylor.

Stewie Griffin: Yeah let's keep it that way.

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Stewie Griffin: [Stewie and Brian have just crashed their plane into a mountainside] Imagine the dance I'm gonna have to do to get our security deposit back.

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Stewie Griffin: What are we doing at the toy store?

Brian Griffin: I'm going to buy you another Rupert.

[takes a stuffed gorilla off the shelf]

Brian Griffin: This is cute and if we buy it, they save a real gorilla in the wild.

[looks closer at the tag]

Brian Griffin: And if we don't, they kill one. Boy, these guys are really playing hardball.

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Guy: Wow! I can't believe it! One minute I'm filling up at Chevron, the next I'm having sex with Sharon Stone!

Sharon Stone: Yeah. Now comes the best part.

[She turns into a monster and bites the guy's head off]

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Stewie Griffin: And just in time, too. I can't keep my teeth from chattering. Isn't that fun? I got these at Jack's Joke Shop in South Attleboro, Massachusetts. Remember, if it ain't funny, it ain't worth Jack.

[Brian slaps him]

Stewie Griffin: Ah, bitch

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Herbert: Hey there, Chris.

Chris Griffin: Hi, Mr. Herbert!

Herbert: Sellin' your old hand-me-downs?

Chris Griffin: Yep!

Herbert: You got anything that you used to wear in the summer time?

Chris Griffin: Just these old shorts.

Herbert: Sweet Jesus.

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Stewie Griffin: Thanks for the ride, Bandit. And good luck tapping that

[with disgust]

Stewie Griffin: ... hot... hot... Sally Field tail.

The Bandit: Knock it off! I don't like it any more than you do.

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Peter Griffin: Aw, you should've seen what our amazing freakin' daughter did to that guy, Lois. She kicked his ass! It was like what life did to Dana Plato.

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Brian Griffin: You are getting a little old for a teddy bear.

Stewie Griffin: Brian I'm one.

Brian Griffin: Still?

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Stewie Griffin: [To an African American] You're welcome

Guy: Excuse me?

Stewie Griffin: I'm just saying make it worth our while, we wrote a pretty big cheque for you folks.

Guy: I'd say the events that preceded it, the hundred years or so, we're even

Stewie Griffin: Yeah we gave more.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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