Flight of the Conchords (2007– )
Jemaine: It doesn't matter what country someone's from, or what they look like, or the colour of their skin. It doesn't matter what they smell like, or that they spell words slightly differently-some would say, more correctly. I'm a person. Bret's a person. You're a person. That person over there is a person. And each person deserves to be treated like a person.
New Zealand Prime Minister Brian: Bret, what can you bring?
Bret: I can make half a dozen croutons.
New Zealand Prime Minister Brian: Half a dozen? Do you think you could go higher than half a dozen?
Murray: They'd be very small. Almost like crumbs.
New Zealand Prime Minister Brian: 900? No, I think that's too many. Try and split the difference. Try and come down from 900 but up from six or seven.
Bret: I could probably make 15 croutons, if you like.
New Zealand Prime Minister Brian: Excellent. Excellent idea. You're showing promise, young man.
Murray: Stuff you, Jemaine! And stuff you, Brett! And stuff you again, Jemaine!
Jemaine: Why do I get double-stuffed?
Jemaine: I'm not cryin'. It's just been raining... on my face.
Murray: Be careful with it. Don't stand next to any big magnets.
Jemaine: Why would I stand next to a big magnet?
Murray: I don't know what you do in your personal life.
Jemaine: You're so beautiful, like a tree or a high-class prostitute.
Dave: Women love that sensitive nautical shit.
Dave: Yeah. Haven't you ever seen Watership Down?
Dave: Hot bod. Gross face. I get it. Just hit that shit from behind.