Rick O'Connell: I've put down more mummies in my time.
Alex O'Connell: You've killed one mummy, dad.
Rick O'Connell: Yeah! Same mummy. *Twice*!
Jonathan Carnahan: I hate mummies. They never play fair.
Woman in Bookstore: [This dialog - in an apparent nod and wink to the change of actress for the character from prior films in "The Mummy" series - accompanies the first appearance of Evelyn O'Connell] Mrs. O'Connell, is it true that the Scarlet O' Kiefe character is based on you?
Evelyn O'Connell: No. I can honestly say she is a completely different person.
[... as the camera reveals her face to show that it is Maria Bello - not Rachel Weisz - playing the role]
[stopping a car before throwing the man out]
Rick O'Connell: Whoa whoa whoa. Sorry pal, there's a mummy on the loose.
Jonathan Carnahan: [to Rick] You guys are like mummy magnets!
Jonathan Carnahan: Ah! My ass is on fire! My ass is on fire! Spank my ass. Spank my ass!
Jonathan Carnahan: Here's to you, princess! And Imhotep. May the bugger actually stay dead!
Jonathan Carnahan: You three-headed shape-shifting son-of-a-bitch.
Mad Dog Maguire: When this is over, me and my boys get free drinks!
Jonathan Carnahan: You can have the whole damn bar! I'm getting the hell out of China!
Lin: I'll go after the Emperor.
Alex O'Connell: Trust me, I've got a little more experience with mummies.
Lin: [Pulling out a dagger] And I have the only weapon that can kill him!
Alex O'Connell: Okay, I'll cover you! Let's go!
[upon seeing an army of the undead]
Rick O'Connell: So these are the good undead guys, right?
Zijuan: [about Han] When the emperor built the great wall, he buried his enemies underneath it. I will call them to battle once more.
Mad Dog Maguire: I'd tell you to fasten your seatbelts, but I was too cheap to buy any.
Rick O'Connell: [laughs] Why am I laughing?
Evelyn O'Connell: What is that god awful smell?
Jonathan Carnahan: [covered in puke] The Yak yakked.
Alex O'Connell: When I saw you lying there Dad, I've never been so scared in my life.
Rick O'Connell: That makes two of us.
Alex O'Connell: You're not supposed to die. I mean you're Richard O'Connell, right? You get beat up, you get tossed around, but you're always standing there in the end. I never really thought of the world with out you.
Rick O'Connell: Time to go to plan B. Blow up the tower.
Jonathan Carnahan: I'm actually a little concerned about plan B. Can't we go straight to plan C?
Rick O'Connell: Make it go bang. I'll cover ya.
Emperor: Today you awake to a world in the grip of chaos and corruption. I will restore order . I will retake what is mine. I will crush any idea of freedom. I will slaughter without mercy. I will conquer without compassion. I will now lead you past the great wall. Once you cross, you will be indestructible.
Alex O'Connell: I dug you up and I'm gonna put you down.
Mad Dog Maguire: [seeing a dragon flying below them] Rick, should I give up drinking?
Rick O'Connell: No.
Evelyn O'Connell: [speaking of Rick fishing] At least you've got a hobby that doesn't involve guns.
[takes a bite of the fish]
Jonathan Carnahan: [Trying to get Alex away from Mad Dog's girl] Alex, that woman is a tomb in which many pharaohs have laid in.
Alex O'Connell: Good going. You've raised another mummy.
Jonathan Carnahan: And this bugger's got super powers.
Rick O'Connell: What did you do now? Rob an armory? ALEX OPENS TRUCK AND REVEALS ASSORTED GRENADES AND GUNS.
Lin: TO YETI. Please, I need your help. These soldiers are evil.
Jonathan Carnahan: CRAWLING THROUGH SNOW. Why do I always have to be the one to save the day?
Jonathan Carnahan: LIGHTS DYNAMTIE WIRE. Yes I did it! LOOKS UP AT TOWER LACED WITH DYNAMITE STICKS. Holy mother... time for a retreat... TURNS TO RUN & STUMBLES AT YETI'S FEET. LOOKS AT YETI, POINTS TO HIMSELF & THEN THE YETI. I'm on your team! I'm on your team.
Rick O'Connell: Alex? TURNS AROUND TO SEE ALEX IS GONE. Where'd he go?
Evelyn O'Connell: Where do you think?
Rick O'Connell: LOOKS THROUGH BINOCULARS TO SEE ALEX RUNNING THROUGH TENTS TO FIND LIN.
Rick O'Connell: ARROW PIERCES HIS BLUE T-SHIRT SLEEVE AND WEDGES INTO A ROCK. Hey, that was my favorite blue shirt.
Evelyn O'Connell: REMOVES THE ARROW FROM THE ROCK & THROWS IT ASIDE. I've always hated that shirt.
Evelyn O'Connell: [TALKING ABOUT LIN] She's certainly managed to enchant you. Come on Alex, you obviously like her.
Alex O'Connell: Mom, the thin mountain air is clearly messing with your head.
Mad Dog Maguire: Off so soon?
Jonathan Carnahan: Well I just don't like goodbyes. You won't say anything will ya?
Mad Dog Maguire: Well, there are outstanding bills.
Jonathan Carnahan: Here.
[TAKES MONEY FROM POCKET, HANDS IT TO MADDOG]
Jonathan Carnahan: Have it all. I'm off to South America. Hot babes, beaches, and no mummies.
Mad Dog Maguire: [GESTURES TO WICKER CAT CARRIER IN JONATHAN'S HANDS] I didn't know you own a cat.
Jonathan Carnahan: Adverci amigo.
Rick O'Connell: [TO DRAGOM EMPEROR] Enough tricks. Where's your honor? Fight like a man!
Jonathan Carnahan: As much as I want to stay boyishly handsome forever, Shang-ri La is a crock.
Rick O'Connell: That's what you use to say about mummies Jon and you did pretty well off it.
Jonathan Carnahan: Good point.
Mad Dog Maguire: Any self respecting pilot would land in the valley but since I don't have any self respect so I'll put you down halfway up the mountain.
Alex O'Connell: Then we can finish him off with Lin's dagger.
Rick O'Connell: Look, I'm sorry; I just don't put much faith in your girlfriend's magic dagger.
Alex O'Connell: Okay Dad, she is not my girlfriend.
Rick O'Connell: You say that now but I still don't trust her.
Alex O'Connell: Well I do so you should trust my judgement okay?
Jonathan Carnahan: That's a diamond. I could use a diamond like that.
Alex O'Connell: People can live an entire lifetime in one look. I watch my parents do it every day.
Emperor: I raised you for one purpose: to enforce my will on the entire world!
Alex O'Connell: Besides your'e not my type.
Lin: Of course not. You don't like a woman who can knock you on your backside.
Alex O'Connell: Expression is kick my ass. For the record you didn't.
Jonathan Carnahan: [TALKS TO YAK] IT's not easy being me, but then again I don't suppose its easy being you isn't it old girl? If I met a girl like you Geraldine you know hard working. Doesn't say much. Your'e a little bit hairy but I don't mind that.
Rick O'Connell: There it is! We found Shrang-ri-la.
[AS THEY ROUND THE SNOW LEDGE]
Evelyn O'Connell: [TAKES BREAK FROM KILLING UNDEAD ARMY] Any regrets darling?
Rick O'Connell: None. Not ever.
Evelyn O'Connell: There's something incredibly romantic about vanquishing the undead.
Evelyn O'Connell: I'm sorry we haven't been properly introduced. Who are you exactly?
Lin: My name is Lin. My family has watched over the Emperors tomb for centuries. The Emperor cannot be killed unless he is stabbed through the heart with this.
Lin: My mother put a curse on it long ago.
Evelyn O'Connell: [nods, smiling] . Mmm-hmm.
Evelyn O'Connell: Whatever secrets she's hiding, I just don't want to see you get hurt.
Alex O'Connell: I appreciate that, but you know I've had my fair share experiences with the opposite sex.
Evelyn O'Connell: Really? Uhh, how many experiences are we talking about?
Alex O'Connell: Uhh well... uhh you shouldn't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to okay, Mom?
Evelyn O'Connell: Right.
Rick O'Connell: So how did your book reading go?
Evelyn O'Connell: Oh, fine. Thank you.
Evelyn O'Connell: Until they asked me, ''When will there be another Mummy adventure?''
Rick O'Connell: Yeah, but you did promise the publisher a third book.
Evelyn O'Connell: I know. But I spend my nights staring at a blank page, completely blocked.
Rick O'Connell: We could skip dinner, and I could...
[plays classic music]
Rick O'Connell: ... attempt to inspire you upstairs.
Evelyn O'Connell: Oh, that's so sweet of you, darling. But I'm going to sit at that typewriter until something exciting comes out.
[classic music brakes, Rick changes of face - happy to sad]