Rick O'Connell: Look kid, I've put down more mummies in my time than you.
Alex O'Connell: You put down one mummy, Dad.
Rick O'Connell: Yeah. Same mummy... *twice*.
Jonathan Carnahan: I *hate* mummies! They never play fair!
Woman in Bookstore: Mrs. O'Connell, we're all dying to know, is the Scarlet O'Keefe character *really* based on you?
Evelyn O'Connell: Honestly, I can say she's a completely different person.
[stopping a truck and throwing the man out]
Rick O'Connell: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry, pal. There's a mummy on the loose!
Jonathan Carnahan: [to Rick] You guys are like mummy magnets!
Rick O'Connell: Your ass is on fire!
Jonathan Carnahan: My ass?
Rick O'Connell: Hold still!
Jonathan Carnahan: Rick, my ass is on fire! Put me out!
Rick O'Connell: I'm putting it out!
Jonathan Carnahan: Put me out, Rick!
Rick O'Connell: Just hold still!
Jonathan Carnahan: Spank my ass! Spank my ass!
Jonathan Carnahan: Here's to you, Princess. And Imhotep. May the bugger actually stay dead.
Jonathan Carnahan: Hey! You three-headed shape-shifting son of a bitch!
Mad Dog Maguire: Remember our deal! When this is over, my men get to drink for free!
Jonathan Carnahan: You can have the whole damn bar for all I care! I'm getting the hell out of China.
Lin: I'll go after the Emperor.
Alex O'Connell: Trust me, I've got a little more experience with mummies.
Lin: [Pulling out a dagger] And I have the only weapon that can kill him.
Alex O'Connell: Okay, I'll cover you. Let's go!
[upon being surrounded by an army of the undead]
Rick O'Connell: These are, uh... They're good undead guys, right?
Zi Yuan: When the Emperor built the Wall, he buried his enemies underneath it and cursed their souls to hold it up for eternity. Most of them were conquered soldiers. I will call them to battle once again.
Mad Dog Maguire: I'd tell you to fasten your seatbelts, but I was too cheap to buy any!
[Mad Dog laughs and Rick joins in]
Rick O'Connell: Why am I laughing?
Evelyn O'Connell: What is that god-awful smell?
Jonathan Carnahan: [covered in puke] The yak yakked.
Jonathan Carnahan: Die, you mummy bastards! Die!
Mad Dog Maguire: There is no call for bad language!
Alex O'Connell: When I saw you lying there, Dad, I... I've never been so scared in my life.
Rick O'Connell: Well, that makes two of us.
Alex O'Connell: I mean, you know, you're not supposed to die, you know? You're Ricochet O'Connell, right? Get beat up, you get tossed around, but... you're always standing there in the end. I never really thought of the world with out you.
Rick O'Connell: Time to go to plan B! Blow up the tower!
Jonathan Carnahan: Hey,I'm actually a little concerned about plan B! Can't we go straight to plan C?
Rick O'Connell: Just make it go bang! I'll cover ya!
[the Emperor address his troops while Zi Yuan incants in an underground altar]
Emperor: [speaking Mandarin] Today you awake to a world... in the grip of chaos and corruption.
Zi Yuan: Open the gates of the past and free the souls of the wrongfully damned.
Emperor: [speaking Mandarin] I will restore order... I will retake what is mine... I will crush any idea of freedom.
Zi Yuan: In the name of the ancestors and the righteous, I sacrifice my immortality and that of my daughter so that you may rise this day!
Emperor: [speaking Mandarin] I will slaughter without mercy... I will conquer without compassion... I will now lead you past the Great Wall... Once you cross, you will be indestructible.
Zi Yuan: Bring down the wrath of the oppressed on this Emperor and all who follow him! combine?
Alex O'Connell: [speaking Mandarin] I dug you up... and I'm gonna put you down.
Evelyn O'Connell: [speaking of Rick fishing] I'm so happy you found a hobby that doesn't involve guns.
[takes a bite of the fish and spits out a bullet]
Jonathan Carnahan: [Trying to get warn Alex about a 'lady'] No, no, Alex. No, look. Listen, uh, how can I... Come here. To put it in archeological terms, that's a tomb in which many pharaohs have lain.
Alex O'Connell: Yeah, well, good going, you raised another mummy.
Jonathan Carnahan: And this bugger's got superpowers.
[Alex opens a trunk filled with guns and grenades]
Rick O'Connell: What did you do now? Rob an armory?
Lin: [to yeti in a foreign language] Please! I need your help! These soldiers are evil!
Jonathan Carnahan: Why do I always have to save the day?
[finally lights the fuse to the dynamite]
Jonathan Carnahan: Yeah! I did it!
[realizes he is kneeling at the base of the tower that is going to blow]
Jonathan Carnahan: Oh, mother, I did it... Time for a retreat, I...
[turns to see a Yeti standing behind him]
Jonathan Carnahan: I'm on your team! I'm a team player! "One for all and all for me" kind of thing!
[sees the fuse is getting closer to the dynamite]
Jonathan Carnahan: The dynamite, all this dynamite! We should, uh, get out of here!
Zi Yuan: [speaking Mandarin] I was wrong to involve you in my revenge.
Lin: [speaking Mandarin] No Mother. I would do anything for you.
Rick O'Connell: Alex?
[turns around to see Alex is gone]
Rick O'Connell: Where'd he go?
Evelyn O'Connell: Where do you think?
[looks through binoculars to see Alex running to find Lin]
[an arrow pierces his Rik's shirt sleeve then Evelyn removes the arrow]
Rick O'Connell: Hey! That's my favorite blue shirt.
Evelyn O'Connell: I've always hated that shirt.
Evelyn O'Connell: [talking about Lin] She's certainly managed to enchant you. Come on, Alex. You obviously like her.
Alex O'Connell: Mom, the thin mountain air, clearly messing with your head.
Rick O'Connell: [to Dragon Emperor] Enough tricks! Where's your honor? Fight like a man!
Evelyn O'Connell: I'm sorry we haven't been properly introduced. Who are you exactly?
Lin: My name is Lin. My family has watched over the Emperors tomb for centuries. The Emperor cannot be killed unless he is stabbed through the heart with this.
Lin: My mother put a curse on it long ago.
Evelyn O'Connell: [nods, smiling] . Mmm-hmm.
[seeing a dragon flying below them]
Mad Dog Maguire: Rick? Should I quit drinking?
Jonathan Carnahan: Much as I'd like to stay this boyishly handsome forever, Shangri-La is a crock.
Rick O'Connell: Yeah, but that's what you used to say about mummies, too, Jon. You did pretty well off it.
Jonathan Carnahan: Good point.
Mad Dog Maguire: Well, any self-respecting pilot would land on the valley floor, but I don't have any self-respect, so, uh, I'll put you down halfway up the mountain.
Alex O'Connell: Yeah, we can get in close, Dad. And then we can finish him off with Lin's dagger.
Rick O'Connell: Look, I'm sorry, I just don't put much faith in your girlfriend's magic dagger.
Alex O'Connell: Okay, Dad, she is not my girlfriend.
Rick O'Connell: You say that now, but I still don't trust her.
Alex O'Connell: Well, I do. So you should trust *my* judgement, okay?
Jonathan Carnahan: That's a diamond. I could use a diamond like that.
Alex O'Connell: People can live an entire lifetime in one look. I watch my parents do it every day.
Emperor: [speaking Mandarin] I raised you for one purpose... to enforce my will on the entire world!
Alex O'Connell: Besides... you're not my type.
Lin: Of course not. You don't like a woman who can knock you on your backside.
Alex O'Connell: [chuckles] The expression "kick my ass." For the record, you didn't.
Jonathan Carnahan: [talking to the yak] Yeah, it's not easy being me, you know. Then again, I don't suppose its easy being you, is it, Geraldine, old girl? If I'd met a girl like you, Geraldine, you know, hard-working, you don't say much... you're a little bit hairy, but I don't mind that.
Evelyn O'Connell: There's something incredibly romantic about vanquishing the undead.
Evelyn O'Connell: Whatever secret she's hiding, I... just don't want to see you get hurt.
Alex O'Connell: I appreciate that, but, you know, I've had my fair share of, uh, experience with the opposite sex.
Evelyn O'Connell: Really?... Uh, how many experiences are we talking about?
Alex O'Connell: Uh... well, uh... you shouldn't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to, okay, Mom?
Evelyn O'Connell: Right.
Rick O'Connell: So how did your book reading go?
Evelyn O'Connell: Oh, fine. Thank you.
Evelyn O'Connell: Until they asked me, ''When will there be another Mummy adventure?''
Rick O'Connell: Yeah, but you did promise the publisher a third book.
Evelyn O'Connell: I know. But I spend my nights staring at a blank page, completely blocked.
Rick O'Connell: We could skip dinner, and I could...
[plays classic music]
Rick O'Connell: ... attempt to inspire you upstairs.
Evelyn O'Connell: Oh, that's so sweet of you, darling. But I'm going to sit at that typewriter until something exciting comes out.
[classic music brakes, Rick changes of face - happy to sad]
Alex O'Connell: Good going dad. You've raised another mummy. In his tomb, it said he had control of the five elements.
Narrator: [narrating] Long ago, a mythic battle between good and evil played out in ancient China. The country was torn by civil war, with many kingdoms struggling for land and power. But one king had a ruthless ambition to make himself emperor by the sword.
Jonathan Carnahan: Boys! If I may... Do we have a plan for the Emperor?
Rick O'Connell: Yeah. We're gonna hit him high, hard and fast and smash him like a Ming vase.
Jonathan Carnahan: And if that doesn't work?
Rick O'Connell: We go to plan B... Plan B! You go upstairs, you blow up that gold tower thing. You light it up. We blow the guy sky high!
Jonathan Carnahan: Me?