Shelley: They're kicking me out?
Marvin: Maybe it's because of your age.
Shelley: But I'm 27.
Marvin: But that's 59 in Bunny Years.
Oliver: You given any thought to who you might be voting for?
Shelley: I definitely won't listen to what Simon says, he is just so mean. I usually always agree with Paula and Randy.
Shelley: Oh, you meant the president.
Shelley: Good morning Pooter! You're looking dapper!
Shelley: I gotta meet this freakin' bird!
Shelley: Manhole. I like that word. Manhole.
Shelley: My allergic reaction made me feel beautiful.
Shelley: Sweet balls!
Shelley: My heart is pounding like a nail!
Carrie Mae: The only magic I ever did was try to figure out how to stay in college for nine years and not go back to my trailer park in Idaho.
Natalie: Shelley knows how to meet guys, hence, we will learn how to meet guys.
Shelley: Yeah, hence!
Carrie Mae: Do you guys know where the crapper is? I have to drop some timber.
Shelley: [puts on Natalie's glasses] God, you need to go to the eye doctor!
Natalie: I did. That's where I got my glasses.
Shelley: Instead of the Mahi-Mahi, can I get just the one Mahi, because I'm not that hungry?
Shelley: The eyes are the nipples of the face.
Shelley: [while reading a letter] Dear Shelley. Oh my gosh, that's me! Wait there's more!
Natalie: We could tie our shoes together, our tennis shoes, and we could throw them over telephone wires. Because I see that everywhere and it seems like people would have fun doing that. Like, how hard can you throw? You know what I mean? Like how - what are you -
Natalie: [awkward pause]
Shelley: Or we could go to a club.
Harmony: [Lilly whispers to her something about Shelley] No, that doesn't make her a hooker, sorry.
Natalie: This is Harmony.
Shelley: [frog voice] Harmony.
[Harmony looks disturbed]
Natalie: And Carrie Mae.
Shelley: [frog voice] Carrie Mae.
Natalie: [points] And that's Joanne over there.
Shelley: [frog voice] Joanne.
[Joanne waves distributively]
Natalie: What is that? Is it like a Yoda, type of thing, I mean it's cool, fun, but?
Shelley: Oh, it's just this thing I do to remember people's names.
Mona: [sarcastically] Wow, you hired the exorcist, that's great!
Shelley: I'm an expert at parties and boys! I'm a bunny! Men write to me from prison, sometimes even in their own blood, which I think is theirs, but I don't know, I'm really nervous because I really want to help.
Natalie: A-a bunny? You mean, like, centerfold?
Shelley: Oh, bless your heart, no, just a few pictorials, like "Girls from the Midwest" and "Girls with GEDs."
Natalie: [after getting their make-overs and everybody stares at them] So this is what it's like to be not invisible.
Harmony: Oh, not invisible, just the anti-hot.
Shelley: [Talking to Oliver] Oh, wait here for a second, I think I dropped some money over here the other day. I just don't know wherever it could be. Maybe it's over here by this manhole...
[stands seductively on a steaming manhole]
Shelley: Haaaa-ARGH! That is fucking hot!
Mrs. Hagstrom: Don't mess with me. Don't mess with Phi Iota Mu.
Shelley: Man! Someone needs a mani-pedi-massage combo PRONTO.
Mrs. Hagstrom: [about the college] This is not a brothel.
Shelley: Oh, I'm not looking to make soup.
Tyler: So, are you a Zeta?
Shelley: Oh! I wish.
Tyler: Yeah. I do too 'cause Zeta would be my favorite hizzity hang.
Natalie: Well, she is not a Zeta because she's our new hizzity house mother. She'll be hizzy-tizzy - - She'll be here all the time.
Shelley: You're hiring me?
[She hugs Natalie. The boys seem to like it and start making appreciative noises]
Natalie: Why are they acting like that?
Shelley: Boys just being boys. Thank goodness!
Natalie: [taking pictures of Harmony for their calendar] Keep doing that. Keep doing that. Make love to the camera.
Natalie: I saw that in Austin Powers.
Shelley: Yeah. Work it. Think, really sexy witch. Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
Harmony: A good witch.
Shelley: I think you're a bad witch.
Shelley: Oh! I bet the house that falls on you is gonna be a sexy house.
Natalie: Work it. Work it. You're like a supermodel, except more pregnant.
Shelley: Natalie, Colby was following you around like a puppy dog. Do you guys think you'll, you know...
Natalie: No. I do not think, you know, THAT.
Shelley: That? Natalie, are you a virgin?
Natalie: No. Am I a virgin? No.
Shelley: You're a virgin!
[She says it a little too loudly and everyone in the quad stops in their tracks]
Natalie: Shhh. It's like an amphitheater in here.
Shelley: That's it. Oh my gosh. We have to have an Aztec party. We always wanted to have one at the mansion but we could never find a virgin to sacrifice.
Shelley: I don't think he likes me. He didn't fall for any of my tricks.
Natalie: That's impossible. Your tricks always work.
Shelley: I did sexy. I did other guys want me. I worked every angle in the book but, I don't know, he just stared.
Natalie: What if Oliver is one of those guys who wants to have, like, a conversation with a girl before he hooks up with her.
Shelley: He's gay?
Shelley: Kindness is just love with its work boots on.
Shelley: [Z from the sorority letters falls on her head] Ooh, what was that?
Natalie: [coming outside] oh, yeah that happens like, ten times a day.
Shelley: Oh, well... at least you've still got T and A!
Carrie Mae: Do you guys know where the crapper is? I have to do a *very mysterious* thing in there...
Carrie Mae: drop some timber.
Oliver: No, it's for senior citizens, you know, an old folks... for old people.
Shelley: I know lots of old men - hairy and not-hairy. But I don't mean to brag.
Mona: You like what you see, stud?
Guy at bar: Not really sure what I'm looking at, metal-face. Let me guess, is it a Hannibal Lecter thing?
Mona: Yeah, it is.
[bites his arm]