- Polly Cooper McGillis: You're a sensitive level-headed woman.
- Gunnery Sgt. Alva 'Gunny' Bricker: Thank you for noticing, ma'am.
- Polly Cooper McGillis: Can we talk for a minute?
- Gunnery Sgt. Alva 'Gunny' Bricker: Well, I am on call to the Major - it will have to be fast.
- Polly Cooper McGillis: Okay. Um... what do you think of those adult 900 phone services?
- Gunnery Sgt. Alva 'Gunny' Bricker: [momentarily silent] Why don't I get us some coffee.
- Polly Cooper McGillis: So tell me: in your opinion, what prompts people to call these numbers?
- Gunnery Sgt. Alva 'Gunny' Bricker: Well, I suppose it all comes down to one basic truth: those who can, do; those who can't, talk.
- Polly Cooper McGillis: But what about those people who can-do and still wanna talk?
- Gunnery Sgt. Alva 'Gunny' Bricker: Well, they're probably not doing it right.
- Polly Cooper McGillis: [examing a piece of paper] No, I'm talking about the phone bill. There's a 47 dollar long-distance charge here.
- Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: Don't look at me; I haven't called Oceanside since the Major's last freak out.
- Polly Cooper McGillis: No, this is a 900 number. Did one of you call to talk to Santa, or the New Kids on the Block hotline?
- Robin Cooper McGillis: Mom, I wouldn't talk to the New Kids if somebody paid me 47 dollars.