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|Index||78 reviews in total|
Well, there's bad movies and then there's BAD movies. I didn't expect
this one to be high art, but I didn't expect it to be this bad.
"COLLEGE" is a low budget, uninspired, horribly written waste of time.
The most amusing part of the movie was watching the fat kid try to mimic all of Chris Farley's mannerisms as an acting style. Pathetic.
I've seen a LOT of "teen comedies" and "raunchy comedies" and enjoyed them. But "COLLEGE" is an embarrassment to those types of films. To be honest, it was just...boring.
The three main characters
- pale ripoffs of the three main "Superbad" characters, by the way...there's a Micheal Cera clone, a Jonah Hill wannabe, and a poor man's McLovin...it couldn't be more sadly obvious -
spent most of the movie covered in urine, vomit, and feces.
And THAT, dude, is the joke. For the ENTIRE movie.
"Whoops, we've got pee thrown on us. Whoops, we were thrown up on. Whoops, now we're covered in pig crap." I can't remember the last time I was willing to just walk out in the middle of a movie at a theater. But, had I paid to see it and not gotten a free pass, I would have left and asked the manager if I could see something else.
I've got no personal stake in this, and it obviously won't affect me if people see or don't see this film. But, I'm telling you, you'll kick yourself for paying money to see this movie.
I have also caught a screening of this movie....Seriously, the comments about this movie look so set up and not authentic. Each commenter leaving a positive review says almost the exact same thing in the exact same amount of words. They re-hash the same stuff until they hit the minimum amount of lines for a comment. Plus, look at the demographic that has given the highest scores for votes....middle aged and elderly women. Also, the group that has the best chance of enjoying this film (18-29 yr old males) have one of the poorest ratings. If they are this desperate to get a good word out about this movie and are failing at doing so, I'd avoid this trash heap.
Let me begin by saying this. I am taking time out of my day to sit here and write about how awful this movie is. Rarely do I ever write a review on here. I only do so if I really like a movie, or can't stand a movie so bad that I think others should be warned about going to pay to see it. All told, I've written probably four reviews. This is hands down the worst movie I've seen in the last five years. Sadly, I thought the previews made it look alright. Seeing as how I'm 23 and recently graduated from college, I also thought that this movie could bring back some nostalgia from my recently deceased college years. Me and three ex-fraternity brothers from school went to catch this movie with hopes that it would at least provide us some decent laughs before going out. We were dead wrong. Not only is this a blatant rip off of Superbad, Accepted, The Girl Next Door etc., it also is host to three of the most annoying main characters in the history of film. The jokes suck, the situations are beyond dumb, and the portrait it paints of college is completely wrong. In order to hang out with frat guys you have to take shots of tequilla from a dude's a$$ crack? Really? Don't remember seeing that in my college days. Annoying fat kids hooking up with hot blondes? Yeah, no, don't recall that either. College kids even caring that high schoolers were at their parties? Not the case. Where I went to school they were introduced and greeted with a beer. No one f**king cared if they were there. I could go on forever, but the bottom line is save your time and money. Go rewatch Superbad or Dazed and Confused or something. Or better yet, save your 10 bucks, get a 12 pack of shi**y beer, get drunk, and let the night unfold. There's a more realistic college experience for you.
Oh thats right, I have.
Lets see. Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds, Van Wilder, American Pie, Beta House, Accepted... ETC. ETC. ETC.
Whats the difference between those movies and "College?" The others managed to come up with more creative titles. Oh, and "Animal House" had John Belushi.
Seriously, if you've seen any of the above movies, then you've seen "College." The original ideas in "College" are so few and far between that you'll have to wonder if the creators of "College" actually bothered to write a script, or rather spun a wheel of clichés and inserted them in the appropriate spots. "College" once again tries to tell you what life on a University campus is 'supposed' to be like, and fails pretty horribly. You begin to wonder if the 'College' students in "College" are actually paying attendants of Fieldmont University (F.U! Get it? hah...no.) or they just happen to squat in the decrepit house near the campus. Apparently they don't attend classes, don't even OWN textbooks, and believe a GPA is a "Great Party Area" rated on a 0-4 scale.
Long story short, "College," while it claims it has something different than those other "College" films, is NOTHING you haven't seen done much better before. I hope it drowns out in its own filth and causes several film companies to go bankrupt, thus ensuring they'll never spit out cookie cutter crud like this.
Drake Bell and Co. deserve MUCH, MUCH better. They do well, but given a better script I would have been more impressed. I'd give it a 1 1/2 just because of their performances, but it won't let me so hey, their loss.
PLEASE, avoid it. You'll thank me later. And tell your friends to avoid it. Thats the only way to stop the cancerous spread
This movie is pathetic. Awful. Just awful. Really bloody awful. The jokes -- if there even are any, it's hard to tell -- are painfully unfunny. They all fall flat. They are also all of the "poop", "fart" and "getting laid" variety which we've all seen done to death lately (and done much better) in other movies about us young people. Whoever made this movie should be jailed for the rest of their life just to make sure they can't possibly even accidentally wander onto a movie set again. That is how awful this movie is. I almost vomited. Somehow this movie gave me some kind of a flu. Everyone involved with this movie should be banned from movie work for the rest of their lives. Horrible acting, horrible writing, a horrible script all the way around. Not funny at all.
If you go into college expecting the bare minimum of a movie and taking it for what it is (a mildly entertaining cliché filled coming of age comedy) you will still not enjoy yourself. The reason is simple, it tries too hard to be funny. It's most easily compared to that annoying guy at work who stands at the water cooler making immature mom jokes or an annoying teacher at school who desperately wants to impress the students. The script surprisingly isn't bad but this movie rips off of Superbad so much with the character of Fogel in relation to this movies Morris you could call it plagiarism. The ever so ridiculously cliché character that brings sympathy and laughs from the audience because of how naive he is always being so sexually insecure and inexperienced is just so old. The only actor who deserves any sort of a nod is Drake Bell for his mediocre acting and decent carrying of his co actors (Andrew Caldwell and Kevin Covais.) It's sad watching this movie really because the actors so desperately want to be funny (except Drake Bell) so that they can get recognition and be cast into an Apatow film. They have a chance really with the script and extremely humorous atmosphere filled with jocks and egotistical lunatics both male and female. They're acting coaches and idiotic attitudes hurt them here as they failed to make a humorous movie. You average group of teenagers may enjoy this, which is not a bad thing but if you go into this movie looking for a cohesive story line and enjoyable plot then go watch Tropic Thunder where the actors actually succeed in some of these categories.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Very boring and unfunny. Seems to rip off so many other movies. For example the three main characters look like an exact carbon copy of the cast from Superbad, a shy skinny person, a fat snob, and one complete dork. Jokes aren't very funny and are old. In trailers the movie brags that this will be the colt classic of the decade comparing itself to Animal House, Revenge of The Nerds, and American Pie, but this movie seems to be a rental movie at best. The title college doesn't fit the film, sure the movie takes place at a college but thats it. This movie portrays college students as drunk,stupid, horny kids which might worry some parents.
When I first saw previews, TV spots, advertising's, etc. for college I
thought that they were just over hyping another overrated movie. I
thought that College would be a decent comedy for late August, but
still I did not expect it to be such a comedy classic as the previews
proclaimed. The TV spots tried to put this movie into the category of
such classics like Animal House, Revenge of the Nerds and American Pie,
which it is by-far none of those at all. I went to see this with some
friends thinking that this would be a decent time filler before we went
to a bar later in the night, boy were we wrong. This movie sucked from
start to finish. The college realisticness is truly unbelievable and
the characters get on your nerves. Drake Bell should go back to his
Teen Choice award crap and stay out of the Rated R comedy genre for a
while, because they pushed him into a Rated R party movie way toooooooo
fast and he wasn't good at it. The fat kid tries so hard to be funny
that he really gets on your last nerve. That is all this is, a bunch of
drunk partying that has already been done before and lame jokes that
could have been thought of by preschool students. So don't waste your
time with this and watch Superbad, Dazed and Confused, Fast Times at
Ridgemont High, Animal House or anything that is actually a good party
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The first thing I must say about College is that since the beginning,
its IMDb rating has been flawed due to a number of studio-funded plugs
claiming it to be a genius comedy (which of course it isn't). These
false reviews are easily recognized by both the fact that they are
positive and their complete lack of any detail about the film. In fact,
if you replace the various movie titles with other movie titles in
these reviews, it still works. Not a great review. Then, further
corrupting the rating came a series of one-star reviews from people who
had not seen the film and were merely infuriated by the studios pitiful
interference. I can sympathize with the feeling, but it is nonetheless
partially their fault that College will never have a realistic rating.
The regulators at IMDb really need to go through and delete these false
reviews. However, for those of you who are curious, I saw College last
night, and here is my take on the film. From the get-go, you feel like
you've seen this before. Drake Bell, who plays Kevin, the nice smart
kid in the movie (the characters in College really are just stereotypes
*sort of* brought to life), is getting ready for a college visit with
his friend Morris, played by Kevin Covais who is semi-famous for being
known as Chicken Little on American Idol. Covais is atrocious, but
we'll get to him. In comes Carter, as portrayed by Andrew Caldwell, the
apparently mandatory overweight obnoxious kid who wants to get laid and
constantly talks about doing so. This guy's bound to draw some
comparisons to Jonah Hill's character in Superbad, but I assure you
that is both groundless and insulting. Hill's character Seth in
Superbad was obnoxious, but was in fact being so to cover up his
concerns with losing his friend because of his going to a different
college. Caldwell is unredeemed. He just goes about throughout the
movie running his huge mouth and mocking others, particularly Morris,
whom he also abuses physically on a routine basis.
This constant cruelty is one of the film's greatest failures, but it also disturbingly gratifying, because quite frankly, Morris's character is unbearable. His voice is whiny and aggravating, and he spends the entire movie complaining. I found myself pleased to watch bad things happening to him, and that made me realize how terrible the filmmakers are at their craft. How can you make a movie about characters that are meant to be sympathetic, but that people instead hate? Even a character like The Silence of the Lambs's Hannibal Lecter has some appealing qualities, but this teenage boy has been portrayed so unpleasantly that I would genuinely rather have him be one of the torture victims in the Hostel series. That's not right!
When the three boys get to Fillmore University, the school that they are visiting, they find that the girls want nothing to do with them because they are high school students, and the dorm they have been assigned to stay in is inhabited by a heavyset student who is engaged in a rousing bout of self abuse (if you don't know what that means, just think of something crude that a guy could be doing in a room by himself). Thus, our single-minded "friends" decide to go stay at a frat house of which Crater's cousin is a legacy. Naturally, the frat members treat them poorly throughout the rest of the movie, bringing about retribution and so on, so forth.
The major sub-plot involves the fact that Kevin's girlfriend dumps him before the visit for not being enough fun, and thus he wants to prove her wrong. Once at Fillmore, the three boys meet three sorority girls who for some reason find them attractive, and of course don't know that they're high school students. The most shocking thing is the attractive blond girl who is attracted to Carter. Looks aside the kid's a total jerk, and besides, she could do better. In fact, nothing in this movie is remotely realistic. I'm in college, and college is not at all like College.
The gross-out humor in this is excessive and unforgivable. Half the time instead of laughing you'll be gagging. This would be a great film to show in a film class to just demonstrate who easy it is to make a pathetic cliché-fest. My favorite line in the movie is when Kendall, played by the adorable Haley Bennett, says to Kevin "you're not like other college guys". This is obviously meant to be dramatic irony, and thereby funny. It's not. Nothing in this movie really is.
What you get with 'College' is, a lamely executed farce of a comedy
that relies on idiotic humor that not even idiots would find funny.
Luckily, the film has more boobs in it than any film of recent memory,
and a couple of the female characters are extraordinarily good looking.
That means, of course, that if you're either gay or female, you're
going to want to kill yourself from boredom.
A simplistic plot for a simplistic movie doesn't allow for a lot of surprises, though the film's ending does get points for departing from the formulaic 'boy has epiphany and gets girl' ending, and adding a little more to it. Our three leads are tolerable at best. 'College' boasts a mostly unknown cast, with the only 'names' in the film being Drake Bell, Kevin Covais, and Verne Troyer. Andrew Caldwell's performance as a wannabe partier is basically a teenage version of Chris Farley's entire career. Except this one doesn't have the laughs. Bell is alright, but fails to gain the audience's attention as the leading man so many tween fans already tout him as. Kevin 'Chicken Little' Covais has a few funny moments, especially whenever he's acting drunk, but adds little to the film. He's a MUCH better singer than actor, as evidenced by American Idol. Haley Bennett was my favorite part of the film as Bell's love interest. Gary Owen is hilarious as 'Bearcat', the typical crazy frat guy.
'College' has heart, and gets credit for trying, but the execution on the part of the director, casting directors, producers, and to a lesser extent, the screenwriters is what hurts the film. First, I like that Drake Bell is trying to shed his Nickelodeon image, but he was the wrong guy to cast here, mostly because he isn't a big enough name to draw in the people, and what little fans he does have aren't old enough to see this film...there lies the problem. Bell's fans can't see the movie, and I seriously doubt all the people that voted for Covais on American Idol are fond enough to waste their money on this movie. Next, the rating of this film, while very much deserved, hurts the film the most. Had the film been made as a PG-13 film, it might have been just as 'good' in terms of quality, not to mention it would have made more money. Third, all the 'f' bombs and nudity were completely unnecessary, and seem to be there just to secure the R rating. Fourth, having been to college myself, this film is nothing like the real thing. The parties are crazy, but this is too much. It is so unrealistic on every level that it's just astounding. At least Superbad was realistic...in some regards.
'College' is a painful and sad attempt to recreate college life on the big screen. If you want something more realistic, try 'Fifty Pills'. Or just take fifty pills of something. Bell is seriously miscast, and Deb Hagan's direction, along with her producers' bad choices, drag down what could have been a mildly entertaining and mildly successful Superbad ripoff.
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