Russell: I do what I want, date who I want, and sleep with whoever will let me.
Adam Rhodes: I proposed because I love her.
Russell: It's so gay.
Adam Rhodes: Being in love with a woman is gay?
Russell: No, but saying it out loud to another guy is.
Jeff: $85 for skin cream?
Audrey Bingham: This stuff is amazing. This is it.
[pulls out the tiniest little jar of skin cream]
Jeff: $85 for that tiny jar? What's in it, $80?
Jeff: She wanted to get a cat. I didn't want to get a cat. So we compromised and... got a cat.
Russell Dunbar: When you're single, you're exactly as happy as you are. When You're marries, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the relationship.