Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Pfft! Oh great, probably some dick-nosed record producer, comes to try to tell us how to makes metal. Don't knows snakes from dildos about that. Get in line.
William Murderface: [Nathan keeps deleting albums, destroying the world's economy] Well maybe it would be better if I just KILLED MYSELF! Huh? Why don't you just record that? Would that be BRUTAL enough for you? Me being DEAD?
Nathan Explosion: [the band is reviewing the mix for its new album. Nathan stops the music to think] Huh.
[he cracks his knuckles]
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: [resignedly] Here we go again.
Pickles the Drummer: [Nathan's finger hovers over the "delete" button] Okay, wait. Before we do anything drastic, let's put this all in perspective, Nathan, okay? Look.
[he stomps on a pedal, bringing down a video screen]
Reporter #1: Dethklok has spent a reported 500 million in the recording studio so far ...
Reporter #2: [Pickles stomps on another pedal]
- fan suicide rate is up, due to the album's late release -
[a fan shoots himself in front of the camera]
Reporter #3: [Pickles stomps on another pedal]
- sources have corroborated that the band has recorded SIXTEEN individual albums, all deleted ...
Reporter #4: [Pickles stomps on the last pedal]
- sources say the Dow Jones decline is directly related to Dethklok frontman Nathan Explosion's constantly deleting a potential new album ...
Pickles the Drummer: [Nathan moves his finger back to the "delete" button as his bandmates urge him not to push it] No, no, no, no, no, don't, no -
[Nathan pushes the button and deletes the album]
Pickles the Drummer: No!
Pickles the Drummer: Mmmm! Mother-douchebags! Did it again.
Toki Wartooth: Aw, dudes, what's wrong with that one?
Pickles the Drummer: Let me guess: not "heavy" enough? Not "tuned low" enough? Not "BRUTAL" enough?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Dudes, we can'ts not tone it down any lower.
William Murderface: Well, maybe it'd be better if I just killed myself, huh? Why don't you record that, huh? Would that be BRUTAL enough for ya, me being dead?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Somebody should tells Murderface that it's not always - always about him.
Pickles the Drummer: So what? Now we're all the way back to square effin' one?
Nathan Explosion: Yeah, that's right. But here's what we're gonna do: we're gonna re-re-re-record it... right there.
[he points to a spot on the globe in the middle of the ocean]
Nathan Explosion: Right there!
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: [after having his face almost peeled off by listening to "Mermaider"] Stop - the track! This is amazing! I mean, there must be *billions* of fish out there! It's a totally untapped market. And so many hits, too!
Nathan Explosion: "Electric Eel Chair."
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: Yeah!
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: "Scaled and Gutted and Undercooked."
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: *Yeah*!
William Murderface: "Scuba Tank Filled With Farts."
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: YEAH! You boys knocked it completely outta the park.
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: [aside] I am back on top!
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: [to the band] I'm goin' straight to the label!
General Krosier: All right. Let's - whoa!
[he sees Knubbler's bleeding eyes]
General Krosier: Dear God, Knubbler, your face! What've they done to you?
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: It's called "metal," General.
General Krosier: Well, we need to know exactly what they've been up to.
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: "What've they been up to?" They been up to kickin' ass and takin' names!
General Krosier: Knubbler!
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: Put that in your port, General Krosier!
General Krosier: What the hell is going on down there?
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: Dethklok is AMAZING! The album is gonna rock so hard!
General Krosier: KNUBBLER!
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: The drums ROCK! The bass ROCKS! And the guitar - ohhh, the guitar ROCKS! Check it out! CHECK IT OUT!
[he turns the music on full blast]
Charles Foster Ofdensen: Okay, so you want to re-re-re-record in the ocean. In. I see. No, problem, sure. I...
Nathan Explosion: No, no, not IN the ocean. INSIDE the ocean.
Charles Foster Ofdensen: Okay...
Nathan Explosion: In the heaviest, deepest, most brutal part.
Charles Foster Ofdensen: All right.
Nathan Explosion: The Mariana Trennnnnnnch!
Charles Foster Ofdensen: Well, let me make some calls.
William Murderface: Well maybe it'd be better if I just kill myself, huh? Why don't ya just record that, huh? Would that be *brutal* enough for ya, me being dead?
Pickles the Drummer: Ok, calm down, remember, we gotta be professional, ok? Unless he pushes us. In which case I swear to god I will effin' knife him in the...
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: My body's having a little trouble adjusting to the oceanic pressure down here, I'm sure I'll feel better once I've had some pop rocks and Coke.
[Drinks, nose starts bleeding]
Nathan Explosion: [Murderface is eating a giant bucket of beans] Maybe take it easy on those beans, Murderface?
Pickles the Drummer: Yeah I know man, have a little decency. I mean, we're stuck together in a freakin' submarine for Christ's sake.
William Murderface: Murderface:
[Spills beans everywhere]
William Murderface: Fine, how 'bout I starve to death, how's that?
William Murderface: Aw, excuse me. These boots are killing my feet!
[takes off his boots, farts]
William Murderface: These feet stink.
Nathan Explosion: Now shut up and listen to this, dick. This is metal... for fish.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Fish don't gots no good metal to listens to.
William Murderface: Yeah... it's true.
Dick "Magic Ears" Knubbler: Fish, huh?
Nathan Explosion: This one's called "Mermaider."
William Murderface: It's about mermaid murder.