Snakes on a Train (2006) (V)

Director:

Peter Mervis

Writer:

Eric Forsberg (writer)

Release Date:

15 August 2006 (USA)

Genre:

Action | Fantasy | Thriller

Tagline:

100 Trapped Passengers.. 2,000 Venomous Vipers!

Plot:

A Zombie curse is placed upon a woman, which causes her to have living snakes inside her. Brujo, who is looking after her...

Plot Keywords:

Snake | Curse | Train | Snakes | Magic Curse

Cast

A.J. Castro	...	Brujo (as Alby Castro)
Julia Ruiz	...	Alma
Amelia Jackson-Gray	...	Crystal
Shannon Gayle	...	Summer
Giovanni Bejarano	...	Miguel
Isaac Wade	...	Martin
Stephen A.F. Day	...	Conductor
Carolyn Meyer	...	Klara
Lola Forsberg	...	Lani
Madeleine Falkskog	...	Nancy (as Madeleine Falk)
Derek Osedach	...	Mitch
Jay Costelo	...	Juan
Jason S. Gray	...	Chico
Sean Durrie	...	Dickie
Nick Slatkin	...	Raz

Also Known As:

Snakes on a Plane 2 (USA) (working title)

Runtime:

91 min

Country:

USA

Language:

Spanish | English | English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Certification:

Singapore:M18 | Australia:MA (2008) | USA:PG-13

Filming Locations:

Santa Clarita, California, USA

Company:

Asylum, The

Quotes:

Brujo: She has snakes!

Movie Connections:

References "The Simpsons: Selma's Choice (#4.13)" (1993)

Soundtrack:

Bloody Bill

it barely qualifies as a guilty pleasure (mostly for its climax)

I would probably want to give this movie a zero if not for the climax, which involves not really Snakes on a Train, but rather Train IN a Snake. The premise was cooked up far more than likely over the course of a night of beers after hearing about Snakes on a Plane in production (this, in fact, was released to coincide with that film's release). The joke is probably not lost on those who will seek this out; I don't think there would be a soul out there who would consider this anything as a serious action-thriller effort (unless on an ironic level beyond the capacity for rational thought). It's about a Mayan curse placed on a woman who's damned by her family for leaving with another man, and is soon seen sickened and coughing up green slime laced with, of course, snakes. She and her beau go on a train headed for Los Angeles, and very soon after the more-than-cliché characters are privy to snakes overtaking the train- with the originator woman becoming a snake herself.

If it would be worth listing more about the movie I would, but there isn't enough time during the day. All that can be said for the quality factor is that it's almost on-existent; there are student short films with larger budgets. Maybe that was a wise calculation on the filmmakers' end, that there would be so many copies sold, just for the joke factor alone, that they would re-coup their budget in the first weekend. Because by looking at the sets (the trains themselves change randomly in the middle of a scene!), the actors (if you can call them that, with only one other actor- the one with the very thin hair who hits on the one woman throughout the movie- who benefited from the flick being produced), the FX (also next to non-existent, making the effects in Snakes on a Plane seem like Star Wars), and the actual CGI snakes themselves, with the final huge behemoth snake something to behold in sci-fi movie channel terms.

This all means, basically, that it is a laugh riot every step of the way (especially, as cruel as it sounds, when a little girl becomes involved in a snake's "attention"), with the very disregard for good taste working well in its favor. This being said, it is also 100% disposable, like a B-movie sour-flavor lollipop.