Snakes on a Train (2006) (V)

Director:

Peter Mervis

Writer:

Eric Forsberg (writer)

Release Date:

15 August 2006 (USA)

Genre:

Horror

Tagline:

100 Trapped Passengers.. 2,000 Venomous Vipers!

Plot:

A Zombie curse is placed upon a woman, which causes her to have living snakes inside her. Brujo, who is looking after her...

Plot Keywords:

Train | Curse | Snake | Magic Curse | Block Blunder

Cast

A.J. Castro	...	Brujo (as Alby Castro)
Julia Ruiz	...	Alma
Amelia Jackson-Gray	...	Crystal
Shannon Gayle	...	Summer
Giovanni Bejarano	...	Miguel
Isaac Wade	...	Martin
Stephen A.F. Day	...	Conductor
Carolyn Meyer	...	Klara
Lola Forsberg	...	Lani
Madeleine Falkskog	...	Nancy (as Madeleine Falk)
Derek Osedach	...	Mitch
Jay Costelo	...	Juan
Jason S. Gray	...	Chico
Sean Durrie	...	Dickie
Nick Slatkin	...	Raz

Also Known As:

Snakes on a Plane 2 (USA) (working title)

Runtime:

91 min

Country:

USA

Language:

Spanish | English | English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Certification:

USA:PG-13 | Singapore:M18 | Australia:MA | UK:15

Filming Locations:

Santa Clarita, California, USA

Company:

Asylum, The

Quotes:

Conductor: We have a runaway train. I repeat. We have a runaway train.

Movie Connections:

Referenced in Snakes on a Train: Behind the Scenes (2006) (V)

Soundtrack:

Bloody Bill

Someone was taking the hiss.

Oh. Good. Grief.

I saw this movie title in the TV schedules and thought "I must watch this movie, ripping off Snakes On A Plane, it will be terrible but hopefully laughable too. Sounds fantastically bad". Well, I was half right.

This movie is eye-meltingly bad and, sadly, not even unintentionally hilarious. It's just bad. Even worse, it takes almost an hour to get to anything resembling action. For the first half of the movie we have to endure some mumbled foreign language (Mexican or Spanish, apologies for my ignorance) and terrible acting as some woman vomits up live snakes for reasons we only find out later on. Then we have to endure even more terrible acting, and we find out that those mumbling in the foreign language could speak English anyway, as the snakes finally get loose on the train and things move from the sedate to the ridiculous.

Low-budget does not always mean "bad" but, in this case, it does. What we have here is a movie given no thought, a terrible script, a bad cast and not even the sense to capitalise on it's very few strengths. I give two marks for a few decent special effects and a whacky ending but that still feels a bit too generous. Avoid if you can.

See this if you like: Stagknight, The Wicker Man remake, terrible CGI.