Last of the Summer Wine (TV Series)

The Swan Man of Ilkley (2005)

Keith Clifford: Billy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Alvin : The thing about Rita Hayworth was she was just my size.

  Clegg : Alvin, you shrunk Rita Hayworth?

  Billy : What did Aly Khan have to say?

  Alvin : It wasn't his Rita Hayworth. This was a lass from Macclesfield.

• Clegg : Don't stare; it's rude.

  Billy : Exactly. Anybody would think we'd never seen a bloke in a dressing gown up to his waist in water strangling a swan before.

• Lenny : [about Nora Batty]  Where did *that* come from? Did somebody rub an old lamp?

  Alvin : You get used to her.

  Billy : You what?

  Alvin : Well, her husband must of got used to her.

  Billy : He *died*! D'you think that's getting used to her?