- Michelle: She put the shotgun in her mouth, said goodbye, and pulled the trigger. So I put my shotgun in my mouth, said goodbye, and pulled the trigger, but nothing happened. Shells weren't in the book.
- Charisma: You didn't know if you should bother me? You've been spying on me! I should be so mad at you.
- Automated announcement: [ding] There are 1,200 minutes of productivity remaining until the weekend.
- [ding]
- Automated announcement: [one minute later]
- [ding]
- Automated announcement: There are 1,199 minutes of productivity remaining until the weekend.
- [ding]
- Julieen: The FBI is in the woods. I think they're gonna raid the place. They've been arriving in a steady flow ever since the President made his announcement about the inhibitors. Somehow, someone leaked word that there was a party or a revolution happening here, it's political, or at least that's what they'd like to call it. They don't even know they're doing the same thing as everyone else, just using a different name. Entertaining themselves, missing it, lying. None of them care about pole vaulting, or dreams.
- George: ...and I thought, if I touched her hand it would be just like stepping into a pool of deep water.
- George: [reading note left by his son] We wish, of course, that our women would die like biting rats in the cellars, our men like wolves on the mountain.
- Michelle: Michelle: They are better than us because they still feel something, they still dream something. Something that hasn't been ripped out of them by hair cuts, and lattes with what kind of milk, and an ass that won't stop growing, and a husband who can't get his dick up.
- [first lines]
- narrator: Welcome to the Jeffers Corporation, the largest and friendliest and most profitable corporation in the history of mankind.
- George: [gives middle finger to wall portrait] Good morning Mr. Jeffers.
- Michelle: [arrives giving middle-finger-salute] Jeffers morning.
- George: [returns middle-finger-salute] Jeffers morning.
- Preacher Moon: The president increased the explosion threat from dark brown to magenta and would like anyone who feels they may explode to head to the undeveloped areas where there are inflatable castles for the old folks, empanadas, and women in bikinis.
- George: Outer space is empty of all thoughts and desires... Just as life is empty and meaningless and can only be enjoyed when we realize this essential connection with the Universe. Wear hat twelve hours a day. See DVD for complete instructions.