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"Monk" Mr. Monk Can't See a Thing (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

Quotes

Rusty: Thirty smoke detectors? For five rooms?

Adrian Monk: Plus two hallways and a vestibule.

Rusty: I used to say you can't be too careful. I'll never say that again.

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Adrian Monk: This is Adrian... Monk. Thank you for calling my new answering machine. When you hear the beep noise please speak into the telephone receiver, and leave a message which I will play back and listen to later. This is the end of the message. And here is the beep I was talking about.

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Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [to Monk] Stay with the group.

[to Breen]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Have you ever been to Stefanie Preston's house?

Peter Breen: Why would I go to her house?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: She was a very attractive woman.

Peter Breen: Yeah, and so is my wife.

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Adrian Monk: [to Stottlemeyer] I have lived my whole life without feeling a drifter's face. I've always been very proud of that. Even on my worst day, I could tell myself, "at least I didn't feel a drifter's face."

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[Stottlemeyer has shown up at Monk's apartment]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Listen, Monk. I'm on my way over to the firehouse right now. I need you to come along.

Adrian Monk: What for? I gave the Lieutenant my statement.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Yeah I know, but I just thought that you might see something.

Adrian Monk: Somehow I doubt that.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: You know what I mean. Look, Monk, even in this condition you're still the best detective I know.

Natalie Teeger: Come on. I think it's a great idea.

Adrian Monk: Nah, you don't mean that. You're just trying to cheer me up.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Look, Monk, this isn't only about you. This is a homicide investigation; a fireman was killed.

Adrian Monk: Rusty?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Rusty. He was a standup guy. He'd been on that engine for 35 years, and I'm gonna nail the son-of-a-bitch that killed him, and you're gonna help me.

Adrian Monk: Leland, I can't! I can't...

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Monk, I'm not asking you.

[pause]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Natalie, help him up.

[Natalie helps Monk to his feet and leads him out]

Natalie Teeger: Come on, you heard the Captain.

Adrian Monk: All right, I'm coming. Listen, don't expect too much from me; I'm no Mr. Magoo.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Mr. Magoo?

Natalie Teeger: Yeah, Magoo, the famous inventor.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Magoo.

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Adrian Monk: I'm now half the man I was, which was three-quarters of a man, so now I'm...

Lt. Randall Disher: ...5/16ths of a man.

Adrian Monk: Thank you, Randy.

Lt. Randall Disher: Oh, no wait. 3/8ths of a man.

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Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [enters the morgue with Monk] Hello? Well, we've got the place to ourselves so to speak.

Adrian Monk: Do you see him? Do you see Eddie Murdoch?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Not yet.

Adrian Monk: What do you see?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Uh, people, bloated, laying around, not talking. Kind of like Thanksgiving at my ex-wife's house.

[to Monk]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: So you think the keys were still in his pocket?

Adrian Monk: Well it's worth a long shot. Eddie Murdoch killed Stefanie Preston, there's no doubt about that. It wasn't his idea, though. His boss paid him to do it.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: So Breen was having the affair?

Adrian Monk: Exactly! He had keys to her house. He loaned them to Eddie Murdoch so Murdoch could sneak in and kill him.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: He went back for the keys. That's what he went back into the fire for.

Adrian Monk: Right, and if we find those keys...

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: ...Mr. Breen's going to have a lot of explaining to do.

[lifts up the canvas covering Eddie Murdoch's body]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Got him. Hello, Edward! Don't get up! They usually keep the personal effects in a plastic bag.

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[first lines; Rusty delivers lunch to his crew at Fire Company 53]

Rusty: All right, gentlemen. Here they are. Get 'em while they're warm.

First Fireman: Hey Rusty, what's in these? In case my doctor needs to know.

Rusty: Let me tell you wise guys something: when I was on payroll, we *respected* our elders. I come in here, I volunteer, do I get a "Thank you, Rusty?" No, I get jokes! And they aren't even funny jokes! They're old and stale.

Captain Stockton: Come on Rusty, we all love you! You know that. Look, I'm eating one!

[takes a bite out of his sandwich. Monk walks into the garage with a container of smoke alarms]

Adrian Monk: Hey, hey, Karl with a "K."

Captain Stockton: Aw, hell, he's back.

Adrian Monk: Hey Chucky, you missed a spot.

[comes up to the table]

Adrian Monk: Captain, can you believe it's been a year already?

Captain Stockton: You know, Mr. Monk, I told you you can test those smoke alarms at home by yourself.

Adrian Monk: Yes, I know but, I'd rather you guys did it. You're the experts, right?

[the station's call alarm goes off. Everyone stops what they are doing and immediately heads towards the engine. Stockton is handed a slip of paper]

Captain Stockton: House fire. Three alarm. Mr. Monk, I'm afraid you're going to have to wait.

Adrian Monk: Captain, I was here first.

Captain Stockton: Sir, there is a house burning down five blocks away. Don't you think that should take a priority right now?

[Monk turns to Rusty]

Adrian Monk: Uhhhh...

[turns back towards the fire captain, who is now getting into the cab of the engine]

Captain Stockton: Don't you?

[Monk turns back towards Rusty. Behind him, the engine comes to life and the brakes release]

Adrian Monk: I don't know.

Fireman: Let's go!

[the engine starts to pull out on to the street]

Adrian Monk: OK but I haven't got all day!

[the engine turns right, activates its siren, and speeds away. Cuts to Rusty testing Monk's alarms by producing smoke from his cigarette]

Rusty: How many rooms do you have?

Adrian Monk: Five.

Rusty: Thirty smoke detectors for five rooms?

Adrian Monk: Plus two hallways and a vestibule.

Rusty: I used to say you can't be too careful. I'll never say that again.

[He hears a squeaking noise. Both Rusty and Monk turn and see Eddie Murdoch walk into the firehouse]

Rusty: Excuse me! Hello?

[Murdoch walks around the front of the parked engine. Rusty gets up and walks around the back of the truck, and sees him by the rack of turnout gear]

Rusty: Hey, you're not allowed back here.

[Murdoch grabs a shovel and swings it at Rusty's head, killing him instantly. Monk hears the loud clang that results]

Adrian Monk: Rusty? Rusty?

[He runs around the back of the truck, and is promptly attacked by Eddie Murdoch. Monk manages to fight back against Murdoch, and is able to grab the shovel, but as he is about to swing, Murdoch grabs a bucket of cleaning solvent from the workbench and throws it in Monk's face. Monk staggers back against the rear wheels of the truck, and then slides down the side of the vehicle to the floor]

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[Monk makes his way around the firehouse, as cops and firemen watch and wait]

Adrian Monk: Now, the table is here.

[He's pointing at the foldout chairs]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No, Monk. The table... is here.

[He points Monk's hand at the table]

Adrian Monk: Right. Which puts the pole right there.

[Stottlemeyer redirects his hand]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Pole's there.

Adrian Monk: I can't do this.

Natalie Teeger: You can do this. Mr. Monk, just concentrate, okay? Just try to picture the room. You can do this, you have an amazing memory!

Adrian Monk: Oh right. I forgot about my amazing memory.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Look, what we can't figure is what the guy was doing here. What was he looking for?

Adrian Monk: I don't know. Is anything missing?

Capt. Stockton: I don't think so. There's nothing here worth taking. No money, nothing. It doesn't make any sense.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Okay, let's do this.

[Stottlemeyer and Natalie get Monk into the chair he was sitting in]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: You and Rusty were sitting here, you were checking the smoke detectors.

Adrian Monk: Right, and then this man, entered from over there. He walked around the truck slowly, like he was trying not to be noticed.

Lt. Randall Disher: Monk, Lt. RAndy Disher here. I'm speaking to you.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Randy, you don't have to tell the man that you're speaking to him!

Lt. Randall Disher: [looks at his notebook] OK. You know who this is, and that I'm speaking to you, and in your statement, you said that you could hear him, that his shoes were squeaking.

Adrian Monk: That's right.

Lt. Randall Disher: And that he was tall, heavyset, about 6'1", with sandy hair, and wearing a leather jacker.

Adrian Monk: That's right. And then Rusty walked over to him, around the back of the truck. Then I heard this big noise, and I walked around the truck.

[He copies his movements from that day. He feels for the truck]

Adrian Monk: Where is the truck?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: The truck's been moved, Monk. You're good.

Adrian Monk: And I saw Rusty on the floor, and the man was carrying a shovel in his hands.

Lt. Randall Disher: You said you could smell him, that he'd been drinking.

Adrian Monk: Rum, he smelled like rum!

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: We got that, Randy! Is there anything else? Anything new? Anything you forgot to mention?

Adrian Monk: No, I don't think so.

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Rusty: I used to say "You can't be too careful." Never saying that again.

[He looks up and sees a man, later identified as Eddie Murdoch, walking into the firehouse. Murdoch's shoes are squeaking]

Rusty: Excuse me! Hello?

[Murdoch walks around the front of the parked engine. Rusty stands up and walks around the back of the truck, and sees him by the rack of turnout gear]

Rusty: Hey, you're not allowed back here.

[Murdoch grabs a shovel and with a strong blow, he bludgeons Rusty, killing him instantly]

Adrian Monk: [hearing the clang of the shovel] Rusty? Rusty?

[He runs around the back of the truck, and sees both Rusty's body and Murdoch. Murdoch attacks with a shovel, but Monk continues to fight back, and Murdoch eventually manages to grab a bucket of cleaning solvent off the workbench next to the truck and throws it in Monk's face. Monk stumbles backwards against the truck, holding his hands to his eyes, and slides down the side of the truck, coming to a rest by the rear wheels, all the while crying out in agony]

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Adrian Monk: Why did he do it?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Why did who do what?

Adrian Monk: Why did Eddie Murdoch kill that girl?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Since when does a creep need a reason?

Adrian Monk: You remember when we were talking to Peter Breen, Murdoch came walking up. Do you remember what he said?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Yeah. He said, "I still have those keys."

[We see a brief flashback of Peter Breen telling Eddie Murdoch this, and holding Breen's keys]

Adrian Monk: Peter Breen drives a Ferarri, right?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Yeah.

Adrian Monk: Wh-What do their keychains look like?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: It's a rearing horse.

[We see a brief black-and-white flashback showing these keys on Stefanie Preston's coffee table during the fire]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: The impression on the coffee table, those were Breen's keys.

Adrian Monk: You said Murdoch's body is on a slab?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Downstairs.

[They quickly head downstairs to the morgue]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Hello?

[no answer]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Well, we've got the place to ourselves, so to speak.

Adrian Monk: Do you see him? Do you see Eddie Murdoch?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No.

[Stottlemeyer starts examining the tags on each body to locate Murdoch while Monk uses his cane to feel around]

Adrian Monk: Well, what do you see?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Uh, people, just sitting around bloated, not talking. Kind of like Thanksgiving at my ex-wife's house. So you think the keys were still in his pocket?

Adrian Monk: Well, it's a long shot. Eddie Murdoch killed Stefanie Preston, there's no doubt about that. It wasn't his idea though. His boss paid him to do it.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: So Breen was having the affair?

Adrian Monk: Exactly! He had keys to her house, and loaned them to Eddie Murdoch so Murdoch could sneak in and kill her.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: He went back for the keys. That's what he went back for.

Adrian Monk: Right, and if we find those keys...

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: ...Mr. Breen's going to have a lot of explaining to do.

[He lifts up the canvas over Eddie Murdoch's body]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Got him. Hello, Edward! Don't get up! Uhh, they usually keep the personal effects in a plastic bag.

[searching through the bag, he finds the keys]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Ha-hahaha! Exhibit A - D.A.'s gonna love this!

[Monk also feels the keys and the rearing horse keychain. Peter Breen sneaks up behind Stottlemeyer and knocks him out with a hammer, then handcuffs him to the stretcher]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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