Charlie Kelly: You got that script I wrote? Grab that script.
Dennis: I've been meaning to speak to you about this. I can't read these words. They're not in the right order.
Charlie Kelly: It's good.
Dennis: I think you might be dyslexic bro. I'm not reading this.
Charlie Kelly: No, no, no, no!
Dennis: I think you might be dyslexic.
Charlie Kelly: Just read it once!
Dennis: Ok... you want me to read the script?
Charlie Kelly: Yes... and action!
Dennis: I'll read the words you wrote. "Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do." This doesn't make any sense!
Charlie Kelly: Alright... then just say whatever you want.
Frank Reynolds: There's nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who's smart and attractive; we have to pretend you're both!
Sweet Dee: Wow, you're a horrible father.
Frank Reynolds: You look like a dick in that tiny jacket!
Frank Reynolds: Now, Daddy hates to say this, but I think we need to talk about the breasts.
Frank Reynolds: A woman in politics is like a donkey doing calculus.
Dee Reynolds: There are plenty of good women politicians.
Frank Reynolds: Name one.
Dee Reynolds: Um, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton
Frank Reynolds: Awful!
Dee Reynolds: How is she awful?
Frank Reynolds: Hates freedom.
Dee Reynolds: [discussing high taxes] Why don't you try voting for once?
Mac: And what? Vote for the democrat who's going to blast me in the ass? Or the republican who's going to blast my ass? Either way, politics is all one big ass blasting.
Frank Reynolds: There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive. We have to pretend you're both!
Dee Reynolds: Wow, you're a horrible father.
Frank Reynolds: This is a brilliant idea, hobovertising! Come on it looks good, beer 'em
[Charlie and Frank are looking at Garbage Pail Kids cards]
Sweet Dee: Are those the stupid cards where babies are doing disgusting things?
Charlie Kelly: No, Dee. These are those amazing cards where babies are doing hysterical things.