Edit
"The Simpsons" Treehouse of Horror XVII (TV Episode 2006) Poster

Quotes

Chief Wiggum: Guys we have to assume our guns are useless. Throw them in the lake.

[after doing that]

Chief Wiggum: Good, now the police car.

[after doing that]

Chief Wiggum: Hey, did you get my sweater from the front seat?

Lou: Um, yeah.

Chief Wiggum: Oh yeah? Then where is it?

Lou: [sighs] I'll go get it, Chief.

[Walks into the lake]

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: [During the panic over the suspected alien-invasion] Burn everything!

Lenny: Hey Homer, we haven't actually seen these aliens.

Homer Simpson: That's alien talk!

[shoots Lenny]

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart Simpson: This Krusty-brand-alarm-clock sprays acid in your face.

[Uses it on Milhouse]

Milhouse Van Houten: Ouww! You already showed me before!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Female Golem: There's a latke bar downstairs.

Chief Wiggum: Latke? What the hell's a latke?

Female Golem: They're pan-fried...

Chief Wiggum: Case dismissed!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

German Guy: [after getting swallowed by Blob-Homer] What did we Germans ever do to deserve this?

[gets an angry look from his friend]

German Guy: Oh, right.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: If I can keep down Arby's, I can keep down you!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: How could you eat that goo? You don't know what galaxy it's from!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil McGraw: Homer, your family's here. And you've gotta help me help them help you help me help you.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: Must eat more fat people! Thank God I'm in America!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: Son. Let me have a lick at you!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: Must eat... then poop... then eat some more... then eat while pooping.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: Ooh, a space marshmallow!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Montgomery Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the Crypt Keeper. Or should I say Master of Scary-Monies?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart Simpson: Dad, you're eating Dr. Phil.

Homer Simpson: It's amazing; he tastes just like Jeffrey Tambor.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lisa Simpson: [the town just recovered from a "War of the Worlds" radio scare and Homer is too smart to fall for anything ever again] Dad, a flying saucer just blew up that statue.

Homer Simpson: Lisa, it's just a radio show!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Homer Simpson: So, it's a war of the worlds

[He looks out the window into the sky]

Homer Simpson: Good thing we have the sun on our side!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil McGraw: Food does not equal love!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Female Golem: Eusch! What's with this outfit? It looks like a lion ate a parrot and then threw up. E-he-he-he-ha-ha.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Kang: I don't know. I'm starting to think 'Operation Enduring Occupation' was a bad idea.

Kodos: We had to invade. They were working on weapons of mass disintegration!

Kang: Sure they were!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Mayor Quimby: We have nothing to fear but the aliens and their vastly superior killing technology!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Orson Welles: The devastation is incredible! They're grinding up the bodies of human beings!

Sound Technician: [Uses a wisp to grind up cornflakes]

Orson Welles: Now they're riding horses in the rain!

Sound Technician: [Clacks coconut halves against a wooden board while pouring water into a tray]

Orson Welles: Now they're playing the xylophone while bowling near an airport.

Sound Technician: [Holds up sign reading "Screw you" and leaves]

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Radio Broadcaster: Astronomers say the ominous capsules originated from Earth's closest neighbor.

Homer Simpson: Flanders?

Radio Broadcaster: Mars!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Radio Broadcaster: We interrupt this dance music from Lamourian Roman Capital City's Fabulous Hotel Hitler to bring you a special bulletin.

Homer Simpson: Hey, I'm not done dancing! This bulletin better swing!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Abe Simpson: I never thought it would come to this when I fought in the first World War.

Lenny: First World War? Why do you keep calling it that?

Abe Simpson: Oh, you'll see!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Golem: I feel so guilty! I've mangled and maimed 37 people and I told a telemarketer I was busy when I wasn't! I'm not a good man.

Lisa Simpson: He sure is neurotic for a monster.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Lisa Simpson: Bart did your mystical Jewish monster beat up those bullies?

Bart Simpson: Oh, it's always the Jew's fault!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[three years after Kodos and Kang's alien armies have conqured the Earth, Kang arrives at Springfield's devestated city hall in an armed tri-pod]

Kodos: Colonel Kang, your report.

Kang: Well, the Earthlings continue to resent our presence.

[a large explosion nearby shakes the building]

Kang: You said that we'd be greeted as liberators!

Kodos: Don't worry. We still have the people's hearts and minds.

[Kodos holds up a human brain and heart]

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Kent Brockman: It's blob rule in the streets of Springfield, and if that weren't bad enough, we're also being attack by a 50-foot Lenny.

Lenny: Homer gets more attention than me.

Carl: [unseen] I still like you.

Lenny: Thanks, invisible Carl.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Disco Stu: Big Band Stu says 23-skidoo.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Marge Simpson: Homer, you won't touch my stuffed peppers, but you'll eat our son?

Homer Simpson: Oh, nag, nag, nag.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart Simpson: Finally, someone who will do everything I say.

Milhouse Van Houten: Hey, Bart. I shaved my head just like you told me.

Bart Simpson: Go away.

Milhouse Van Houten: Yes, Master.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Chief Wiggum: I 'Ought to punch you in the Nose, Bud!

Orson Welles: [Whispering] Nosebud.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Bart Simpson: [Golem kicks a hole in Bart's bedroom wall] Can't you read my writing? I didn't say "Kick Homer's walls".

Homer Simpson: [Homer walks into the bedroom] Bart -

[Golem kicks Homer in the crotch]

Homer Simpson: Ooop!

Bart Simpson: That's more like it.

Is this interesting? Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page