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Harpies (2007)

TV Movie  -  Adventure | Fantasy | Sci-Fi  -  23 June 2007 (USA)
2.4
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Ratings: 2.4/10 from 463 users  
Reviews: 19 user | 6 critic

Jason Avery is an ex-cop now working as a museum security guard. Armed thieves break in intent on stealing a priceless obelisk that looks like a glowing crystal dinosaur egg that's stored ... See full summary »

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Jason
...
Lord Castor
Michael G. Boudreaux ...
Caleb
Christian Hammerdorfer ...
Aldebert
Dessi Morales ...
Harpy
Sofia Leticia Morales ...
Sebina
Stephen Orosz ...
Ted
...
Cecilia
...
Theo (as Nicky Sotirov)
Atanas Srebrev ...
Hamish
Jonas Talkington ...
Garek
...
Vorian
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Storyline

Jason Avery is an ex-cop now working as a museum security guard. Armed thieves break in intent on stealing a priceless obelisk that looks like a glowing crystal dinosaur egg that's stored within this vault-like stone structure that looks like someone merged a Tardis with the Stargate. The scientist/anthropologist/whatever behind the theft talks of the obelisk giving him the power to control harpies, demonic winged female monsters of classic mythology. Through a series of contrived events, the obelisk opens a time portal that Jason promptly falls into, crash landing over a thousand years in the past in a land threatened by evil harpies. Initially only concerned with getting home, Jason gets roped into having to save the villagers, all of whom proclaim him to be this great "harpy slayer" that prophecy says would one day come to save the kingdom. A lot of hullabaloo involves this gold amulet and a mortal villain seeking to gain control of the obelisk in order to hatch a harpy army for ... Written by Svetlio Svilenov

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

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Details

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Release Date:

23 June 2007 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Stan Lee's Harpies  »

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Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1
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Did You Know?

Goofs

The supposedly Mesopotamian stones in the museum at the beginning feature carved Viking Futhark runes. See more »

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User Reviews

 
Just when you thought it was safe to tune in to the Sci Fi Channel

It *is* always a bad omen when you find out something was produced by them. Have you ever wondered what Army of Darkness would have looked like without humor or fun, and if put together by no-talent hacks? I know, right, me neither, not for a second. Well, evidently, this is what would come out of such. I speak in hypothetical terms, since part of my coping with having watched this is telling myself that it doesn't really exist, that it was nothing more than a fever-induced nightmare(the movie itself as much as the idea of something like it actually having been made), as it is truly unbelievable. Baldwin, in a performance that simply must be the very low-point of his career(!), travels back in time without trying to, and finds medieval warriors willing to use their swords, that all hold the ability to harm without being seen penetrating flesh, provided Ash helps defeat the monsters that kill, mainly by virtue of hideous sounds and music(I'm afraid I cannot bring myself to think for a second that they meant it to be that awful) as well as being brought to life by effects so immensely poor that the beings don't need to tear out the eyes of the audience, as they will feel inclined to do so just from attempting to watch this. The acting is bad. The random accents... eugh. The dialog tries extremely hard at being clever, and fails utterly miserably. Any laughs this gets are unintentional ones. This underwent a massive surgery, to replace all possible original material with painful clichés, and the operation was a complete success. What's with the transitions? Did someone peer at a cut, and think that *that* was what was wrong? The editing in general ranges between average and below. At least one character is there purely to deliver exposition, and they didn't even try to cover it up. I don't know the extent of Stan Lee's involvement in this, however, as a big fan of several of his creations, I would say, even if you love his work, you can afford to stay far away from this one. I presume the sole reason Sam Raimi didn't sue the production is that he'd have to not only have seen it, but also admit to sitting through any of it. I recommend this only as fodder for MST3King, to anyone who enjoys doing so. 1/10


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I can't get hired in Hollywood, therefore this movie sucks! wallington0826
Stephen Baldwin is terrible Vince103174
Who gave this a 10? davidnabbit
Scott Valentine TCopelin
Did the Harpy premiere? MirroredIllusions
bruce campbell should Sue cry_wolf23
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