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Harpies (2007)

TV Movie  -  Adventure | Fantasy | Sci-Fi  -  23 June 2007 (USA)
2.4
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Ratings: 2.4/10 from 463 users  
Reviews: 19 user | 6 critic

Jason Avery is an ex-cop now working as a museum security guard. Armed thieves break in intent on stealing a priceless obelisk that looks like a glowing crystal dinosaur egg that's stored ... See full summary »

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Jason
...
Lord Castor
Michael G. Boudreaux ...
Caleb
Christian Hammerdorfer ...
Aldebert
Dessi Morales ...
Harpy
Sofia Leticia Morales ...
Sebina
Stephen Orosz ...
Ted
...
Cecilia
...
Theo (as Nicky Sotirov)
Atanas Srebrev ...
Hamish
Jonas Talkington ...
Garek
...
Vorian
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Storyline

Jason Avery is an ex-cop now working as a museum security guard. Armed thieves break in intent on stealing a priceless obelisk that looks like a glowing crystal dinosaur egg that's stored within this vault-like stone structure that looks like someone merged a Tardis with the Stargate. The scientist/anthropologist/whatever behind the theft talks of the obelisk giving him the power to control harpies, demonic winged female monsters of classic mythology. Through a series of contrived events, the obelisk opens a time portal that Jason promptly falls into, crash landing over a thousand years in the past in a land threatened by evil harpies. Initially only concerned with getting home, Jason gets roped into having to save the villagers, all of whom proclaim him to be this great "harpy slayer" that prophecy says would one day come to save the kingdom. A lot of hullabaloo involves this gold amulet and a mortal villain seeking to gain control of the obelisk in order to hatch a harpy army for ... Written by Svetlio Svilenov

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis

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Details

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Release Date:

23 June 2007 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Stan Lee's Harpies  »

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1.78 : 1
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Goofs

The supposedly Mesopotamian stones in the museum at the beginning feature carved Viking Futhark runes. See more »

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User Reviews

 
Some movies rise above their humble origins...
23 June 2007 | by (USA) – See all my reviews

...and end up surprisingly good movies.

Stan Lee's Harpies is not one of them. **WARNING: SPOILERS FOLLOW**

Let's see...where to start?

Ah, yes -- The Harpies themselves. You'd think, given that they are the title characters of the film, that there would be great time and care and attention given their design. Instead we get abominable CGI, and the live action harpies looked like emo girls wearing badly-done halloween wings.

The Action Sequences. When the harpies attack, it doesn't show us anything that convinces us that there's a battle going on. You see a bunch of people waving their swords, then you see a shot of the harpies giggling and flailing their arms. Yeah, real convincing.

The battle scenes, such as they are, show a bunch of guys bumping into each other with swords drawn. One poor nameless extra got skewered by a sword, and when he fell down, he fell at an angle showing that he was holding the sword between his arm and torso, rather than sticking out of his trunk, as it should have been.

In the museum, we're supposed to believe that these mercenaries are not only bad shots, but that an ancient cup, hit by a bullet, is just going to fall as if it were knocked over, and protect our hero.

The Casting Not too much wrong here, other than they're rather unseasoned and ill-suited for a fantasy film. Also, they got the cast wrong on here. Scott Valentine (yes, the guy from Family Ties who said "Ay!") played Vorian.

There are other stretches of the imagination, people jumping when they're supposed to be "sucked in" or "thrown clear" of the blast, etc. But this movie was just "That Which Should Not Be Made" on so many levels. My friend and I made better student films than this in college. Did anyone notice the dearth of slavic names in the crew? I thought only the Italians made ridiculous movies ("Naked Gladiators" and "Texas Rangers 2020", anyone?).

Ah well, I suppose that if they enjoyed what they were doing, that's what counts. I didn't.


12 of 14 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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I can't get hired in Hollywood, therefore this movie sucks! wallington0826
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