Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: [complaining to his father and brother about his role in the school play] I'd rather go out on the stage in my underwear than kiss a girl!
Wally Cleaver: [Beaver gets the lead in a school play, then learns he has to kiss a girl in the story. He agrees, on condition that his family won't attend. After the play, the questioning:] What happened when you kissed Vicky?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Well, nothin'. I kissed her, then I climbed out of the castle window, and that was all.
Ward Cleaver: Well, now, then, that wasn't so bad after all, was it son?
Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: No. But I don't think I'll ever get to where I enjoy it as much as Wally does.