Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: [at the bottom of the staircase, calling upstairs] Hey, Mom!
June Cleaver: Yes, Wally.
Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Could Eddie spend the night here?
June Cleaver: Not while your father's away.
Edward 'Eddie' Haskell: [dejected] Boy. Everybody around here is wise to me. I might just have to move to a new town and start all over.
Theodore Cleaver: [Beaver's teacher asks for a parent conference to discuss Beaver's use of bad language, but Ward is out of town, so Beaver writes a note that he hopes will do the trick instead] "Dear Miss Landers: We are all shocked by what The Beaver said, especially my wife, who is a lady. I have washed his mouth out with soap and have beat him up three times. I hope because I have done this so good, I won't have to come down to school. Yours truly, Ward Cleaver, Theodore's father."