Lorelai: [Explaining to Sookie why she had broken up with Luke for good] It was him not fighting for me. I gave him the ultimatum and he let me walk away. I didn't want a life separate from Luke, and that's all he could give me. It's like Luke is driving a car and I just want to be in the passenger seat. He's locked the door and I have to hold onto the bumper. I am not even asking him to open the door for me, just leave it unlocked and say come in, but he didn't do that. So I am hanging on to the bumper and life goes on and the car goes on, and I get really badly bruised and I'm hitting potholes. And it hurts. It really hurts. So yesterday I had to let go of the bumper. Because it hurts too much.
[Paris talking to a woman who signed her daughter up for Paris' SAT prep class]
Paris: She's got a C average which means she's either lazy or stupid. I can work with either. Frankly sometimes stupid is easier. I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep.
Paris: I don't particularly like to take on such meek, diffident cases. Do you even know what diffident means?
[Caitlyn shakes her head]
Paris: That's OK. That knowledge isn't really required for the retail doughnut distribution industry.
Luke Danes: [to Lorelai] A car crashed into my diner yesterday, there's a giant hole where my wall used to be, it's gonna take a couple of weeks to fix. It's a disaster but I, I don't care. I mean, I care, but... You know what? No, I really... I don't care. It's like, it's not even real to me, it's like my life isn't even real to me unless you're there and you're in it and I'm sharing it with you. And uh... I don't know what I was waiting for and I don't know what I was scared of, but I'm not, I'm not scared and I'm not waiting, I'm here.
Babette Dell: I heard about the fight between you and Luke.
Lorelai: [sighs] you did?
Babette Dell: Yeah, you know Adrian Bittenberg's daughter, Becky? She's got a huge mouth.
Lorelai: Becky is not a gossip.
Babette Dell: But she has a huge mouth! And she and Eileen Whitewin were behind Doose's Market seeing how many devil dogs Becky could stuff in there, and when she got up to four completely cut off her oxygen, so Eileen went running over to Luke's to see if she could get some help, but then she saw the two of you at the street screaming at each other.
Lorelai: Well, I'm glad she had the presence of mind to listen in on our argument while her friend was choking to death.
Paris: [to Caitlyn's mother] Do you want your kid to spend the rest of her life behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts? Do you?
[Caitlin's mother says "No"]
Paris: Because that's where she's headed - selling chocolate doughnuts and glazed fritters for 40 years to people in business suits who actually gave a crap about their academic future.