- Josh Nichols: Hey, where were you after school today?
- Drake Parker: Ah, Mr. Chang kept me after class to talk about my "poor performance" this semester. I got, like, a thirty-minute lecture.
- Josh Nichols: Ugh. What'd he say?
- Drake Parker: I don't know. He started off with "Drake, you need to start paying more attention," and after that I kind of zoned out.
- Coach Remmers: Hi, I'm, uh, Drake's gym coach.
- Audrey Parker-Nichols: Oh, hi. I'm Drake's mom.
- Coach Remmers: You're his mother?
- Audrey Parker-Nichols: Yeah. Is... something wrong?
- Coach Remmers: Well, it's just that Drake told me that when he was four-years-old both his parents were lost at sea.
- Audrey Parker-Nichols: Lost at sea?
- Coach Remmers: Yes, ma'am. I, uh... I thought you were dead.
- Audrey Parker-Nichols: Drake told you...
- [Drake enters]
- Drake Parker: [shocked] Coach Remmers!
- Drake Parker: [looking at his mother] Mom, you're alive!
- [hugs her]
- Audrey Parker-Nichols: Drake...
- Drake Parker: Oh, just hold me!
- Audrey Parker-Nichols: Oh, stop it.
- [Drake's failing gym class]
- Coach Remmers: You see, Drake hasn't shown up for gym class for SEVERAL months.
- Audrey Parker-Nichols: [incredulously] "Months?"
- Coach Remmers: [to Drake] And if you fail gym, you have to repeat eleventh grade.
- Drake Parker: What to do? Why didn't you tell me that earlier?
- Coach Remmers: You never COME TO CLASS!
- Josh Nichols: Number two stinks.
- Drake Parker: [chuckling] "Number two stinks."
- Josh Nichols: Grow up!