John Grogan: A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.
Arnie Klein: Sometimes life has a better idea.
John Grogan: A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?
Arnie Klein: Tell your dog not to worry, sooner or later we all lose our balls.
Colleen: I made a picture of me and Marley, Mommy wrote what I said Dear Marley I'll never forget you forever and there's kisses and hugs
John Grogan: That's pretty, why don't you put it there
[on the blanket covering Marley]
Conor: Dear Marley I love you more than anything in the whole world, I hope you like heaven and have lots of things to chew on, your brother Connor Richard Grogan
John Grogan: That's a good one.
Jennifer Grogan: Patrick do you want to say something?
Jennifer Grogan: I want to give him something
[takes off her necklace, to John]
Jennifer Grogan: your Dad gave me this to celebrate the beginning of our family but our family had already begun
Jennifer Grogan: goodbye clearance dog.
Lisa: I told myself not to scream but I screamed and he stabbed me
John Grogan: [checking the wound] Its not that bad, in all the drama I didn't catch your name.
John Grogan: Lisa its going to be okay, we're going to sit here with you and wait for the police to get here, its going to be alright.
Debby: There were 11 thunderstorms while you were gone, 11, you were right, he doesn't like them and just so you know I am a dog person but that is not a dog, that is evil with a dog face that humps my leg and is peeing on your carpet.
Jennifer Grogan: Marley's not allowed to drink out of the toilet, you should just keep him out of the bathroom in general.
John Grogan: [To Marley] You know how we're always saying what a pain you are, you're the world's worst dog, don't believe it, don't believe it for one minute because you know we couldn't find a better dog, I love you, more than anything, you're a great dog, I love you.
John Grogan: Woke up to a kiss from Marley. Went for a walk that turned into a run. Took an airboat ride. Wrote a column about the death of the ever glades. Planted an orange tree in the backyard. Threw sticks for Marley in the park. Watched him swim in the bay. Watched him steal some guys Frisbee. Bought a new Frisbee for the guy. Gave Marley a bath. Went to work with writers block. Hoping for inspiration strike. Nada. Got a new shirt. Got a new keyboard. Got the same old paycheck. Went wind surfing with Sebastian. Met his new girlfriend Sasha. Met his other new girlfriend Angie. Watched models posing in the surf. Wrote a column about the growth of south beach. Interviewed Gloria and Emilio Estefan at the Cardoso hotel. Introduced them to Jenny who gushed like a teenager. Went shopping at the mall. Bought a Sharper Image pillow. Slept like a baby. Caught Marley eating the pillow. Hide the evidence from Jen. Cleaned Marley's vomit in the kitchen. Helped Jenny make dinner. Over cooked the Spaghetti. Got into a food fight. Proof-read Jenny's column. Read Sebastian last opus. Went running with Marley to burn off frustration. Didn't see him chew through the leech. Chased him 15 blocks. Called Jenny for a ride. Wrote a column about gas prices. Wrote a column about water prices. Found one tiny orange on our tree. Jenny very pleased with herself. Found my first gray hair. Found Jenny's first gray hair. Bought Jenny flowers. Rescued our new mail man from Marley. Rescued the UPS guy from Marley. Invited my parents to visit. Took them out to dinner at a cool place on south beach. Got into a fight with Dad over the check. Got into a fight with Dad about money. Got into a fight with Jenny about all the fighting. Drove my parents to the airport. Listen to them complain about not having grandchildren. Tracked a hurricane heading for south Florida. Hid in the bathroom from the hurricane. Sat in the dark for 3 days. Wrote a column about looters. Wrote a column about volunteers. Wrote a column about the beauty of air conditioning. Watched Marley dig for buried treasure. Spent Christmas with Jens sister with her family in Orlando. Left Marley at their house to go to Disney world. Had to buy them new baby furniture. Saw Jen light up around the little girls. Got a flat riding home. Wrote a column about state troopers. Wrote a column about toll booths. Went to dinner to celebrate Jenny's raise. Tied Marley to a table. Chased Marley and the table. Caught the table. Wrote a column about Marley pulling the table. Tried to write a column about anything but Marley. Nada. Picked Oranges from our tree. Made Orange Juice. Drove down to Miami for Bark-in-the-Park night at the Marlins game. Turned out Marley was a real baseball fan. Tried to stop him from chasing a foul ball in the stands. Tried to stop him from chasing a foul ball in the field. Wrote a column about the ball game. Took crap from Sebastian about it. Met his new girlfriend, can't remember her name. Went snorkeling with them. Cut my leg on a piece of coral. Went to the emergency room. Wrote a column about hospitals. Went to a Easter egg hunt at Jenny's boss's house in Boca. Drank mimosas. Met a doctor that does 3 lipo suctions a day. Wrote a column about nannies in Boca. Wrote a column about the women in Boca. Wrote a column about writing columns. Came home to find Jenny dancing with Marley. Trying to think of reasons not to have a baby now. Nada.
Jennifer Grogan: You're part of the plan.
John Grogan: Oh yeah?
Jennifer Grogan: My plan... Step 1: Meet an incredibly sweet, smart, sexy man.
John Grogan: Done. Step 2?
Jennifer Grogan: Marry you instead.
Arnie Klein: Listen, take a vacation. Go away for a couple of weeks. Take a month off.
John Grogan: Go where?
Arnie Klein: I dunno.
John Grogan: I live in a vacation spot.
Arnie Klein: Then go to someplace where it's painful and sad.
Arnie Klein: There's gonna come a time very soon, when her ankles are gonna swell up, she's gonna have blotches all over her face, she'll be forty pounds overweight, she'll be throwing up all the time, she's gonna look at you and she'll say "You bastard! You did this to me!"
John Grogan: What happened to the glow, you know the...
Arnie Klein: There's no glow.