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"Masters of Horror" The V Word (2006)

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9 out of 15 people found the following review useful:

From Good To Very Bad ...

4/10
Author: vram22 from United States
22 November 2006

This 1 hour episode starts out OK, but falls off in the second half.

Initially, there's a kind of creepy buildup during which a couple of teens go to a funeral home for amusement. The first 30 minutes are actually pretty good and are all about ambiance. It is pretty difficult to maintain a suspenseful and creepy tone, so the director really succeeded here.

However, the downfall of the movie comes when the first laughably ridiculous decision is made: when a terrible thing occurs in front of one of the main characters, he just turns around and stands there thinking about what to do. By the way, he happens to be holding a phone. Do you know anyone who would do that? It's all downhill from there - the story never recovers and becomes very bland after such a good buildup.

This one is worth skipping.

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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Atmospheric for the first half

6/10
Author: ctomvelu-1 from United States
14 June 2008

THE V WORD sees two teens breaking into a funeral home to get a look at a bully who has died. They get far more than they bargained for, as there is a vampire inhabiting the funeral home and he is perpetually thirsty. Michael Ironside is the vampire, and his method of drinking blood is to tear a large gash in the victim's throat first. Plenty of nasty corpses on display, plenty of gashed throats, but the story loses steam in the second half. It got so boring, in fact, I turned it off before the grand finale. Throat slashing is always fun to watch, but too much of it tends to spoil the broth, as it were. And I hate to say it, but Ironside reminded me more of a ghoul than a vampire. Ghouls have never floated my boat.

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It was OK, sort of slow

5/10
Author: kdhbi42
3 January 2015

This was somewhat boring considering it was about the V word. The end result felt more like an anti-drug after school special, not that drugs were involved in this episode. It felt like it could have been cut down to 30 minutes or a 10-15 minute skit and the pace was annoyingly slow, probably to show dramatic emphasis. Not to mention whoever wrote this episode has never played a video game in his/her life. Whenever the two main characters talk about games they sound like a 60 year old non-gamer trying to figure out why people play in the first place. At least Doom 3 didn't have Pac-man sound effects, but still most people would prefer to play it on the PC with a keyboard and mouse. Chalk it up to artistic license I guess.

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Impressive and Insulting.

6/10
Author: Lilith Hexus from United States
10 November 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

All right, I have just finished watching the first showing of "The V Word" on Showtime, and having done so I have a few things to say. "The V Word" is an episode about a new-breed of vampiric legend. While they do retain many of the traditional myths, they've adapted to a new ideal.

The concept for this episode is done in the best and worst of ways. While they captured the realistic nature of the idea of vampires, seeing as how rather than any psychical change they simply tear the throat of their victim out and drink the blood. Once they've had their throat removed, or at least most of it, they go through a seemingly agonizing transformation, and forever retain that physical would that never seems to heal over. It takes the idea and makes it somewhat believable, at least until the bad part comes into play.

And here is that bad theme.

While they've been created in this way to be believable, they seem to include some of the more silly stereotypes. These vampires do not have fangs, which makes sense, however, they burst into flames under the touch of sunlight, and it is implied that they are allergic to garlic, all though I don't think they made that official or not.

It's a good episode, and a very impressive concept... however, it is insulting the basic idea of a vampire, as well as fans of the sort.

However, this one does seem to have better acting than most, and it has the girl from Silent Hill in it, which amused me.

Overall... I'd give this episode a 6/10.

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6 out of 12 people found the following review useful:

A Story About a Vampire and a Morgue

5/10
Author: gavin6942 from United States
23 January 2007

Two video game loving young men decide to break into a mortuary in the middle of the night, only to discover the attendant with his throat ripped out and blood everywhere. Oh, and a vampire, too! After one of the two is killed by the vampire, how will the other defeat him? Or will he? This episode comes from director Ernest Dickerson ("Bones") and writer Mick Garris ("Chocolate"), two people who are not really "masters of horror" in the eyes of the mainstream. And choosing vampires as your plot is really nothing new or creative (and they don't take it in any new directions).

Now, the movie has the point of view of a vampire, or someone turning into a vampire, who does not wish to become fully undead. I'm pretty sure this has been covered in the past in other films, but an interesting story just the same. Vampires are typically seen as evil or (at best) misunderstood, but rarely do we see vampires who didn't want to be vampires. How far will they go to rid themselves of the vampiric cravings? Others have said they enjoyed the police 911 calls, and sure, they're alright. I didn't think they were amazing, and quite frankly it was unclear to me if they really happened or if he was imagining making the calls. The movie in general really wasn't that funny. It had some okay references ("Doom 3" and naming the vampire Chaney after Lon Chaney) but it was still weak.

The vampire was played by Michael Ironside, who is like the poor man's Jack Nicholson. He did a fine job. Nothing much more I can say... well, except I also liked the black contact lenses. Nice touch.

This episode was alright, but again nothing special. Season two is just not what season one was. Up through episode five, I saw one episode I liked (John Landis' "Family"), so that's not a good sign when I have only 8 more to go. Maybe you're be more generous and forgiving, but if this is a trend, season three will be a nightmare.

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9 out of 18 people found the following review useful:

Ahhh, and it was so close to being a mediocre episode.

Author: Kevlar01 (kdenniso@shaw.ca) from Edmonton, Alberta
11 November 2006

I find it interesting that the majority of peoples comments about this episode I've read state that the first part of the episode is better than the rest. This is interesting to me as I personally thought everything which occurs in Collinswood Mortuary was atrociously cheesy and just plain... well... stupid. The dialogue was garbage, some events which occurred just silly, and the visuals reminded me of the cinematography in VERY forgettable horror flicks such as Feardotcom and Stay Alive. Sure everything that happens after the mortuary is basically recycled themes and clichés from other vampire movies but it was definitely more entertaining than the events occurring at the beginning. Withoug spoiling anything I'll point out some vague descriptions of the episodes highlights.

While the first half is corny and dull, the second half offers a few scenes of vicious gore effects which look very cool, a rather humorous phone call to the police by our hero, and a disturbing yet mildly satisfying revenge scene. Also, the large-black-pupils eye contacts on our vampires looked creepy and cool. Other than this I found myself frowning for the majority of the episode. As much as I was trying to find enjoyment throughout, there was very little that actually peeked my interest for the most part. Still, something about it did seem to work... although I cant for the life of me figure out what it was. But whatever this aspect was, which I think was just the overall mood perhaps, its pretty much the only thing Dickerson presents successfully. Everything else is just pretty much lame.

I actually only give this episode a 4.5 so me rounding it up to a 5 for IMDb is actually an act of extremely generosity on my part. Basically the whole thing just falls short of being mediocre, which is a shame because aspects of the episode felt like there was so much potential hidden in the layers of disappointing material. So this is officially my least favorite episode of Season 2, and my third least favorite overall (following the horrendous Dance Of The Dead and the extremely mediocre Incident On And Off A Mountain Road). While I'm sure there will be at least another one, possibly two, crap episodes to come as this season progresses... I hope to god they're not as bad as The V Word.

Oh well... nice try I guess.

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2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

A waste of time

2/10
Author: juliusdownes from United Kingdom
29 October 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I've been dipping into the Masters of Horror series and watching those whose synopsis seems particularly interesting. Unfortunately, this has not only been the worst episode I've seen of the series but one of the worst pieces of fiction I have encountered for some time.

The first half of the episode was slow and uninteresting, the second half was stupid and boring. The motivation for visiting the funeral home makes no real sense, all the time spent highlighting the video game element of the story was not required and served no purpose. The characters were so thin and pointless I didn't care about any of them anyway.

I won't analyse it any further as it's just not worth the time. I would not recommend this to anyone, it gives nothing.

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6 out of 13 people found the following review useful:

1-Hour Video game Commercial Disguised As MoH Episode

3/10
Author: Bensch
14 October 2007

Generally speaking, I am a huge fan of the great "Masters Of Horror" series, but one has to say that the individual episodes differ immensely in quality. While some episodes, such as Dario Argento's "Pelts" or Takashi Miike's "Imprint" are utterly brilliant, some other episodes are pure entertainment, and some episodes, such as Mick Garris' "Chocolate" or Tobe Hooper's "Dance Of The Dead" were, as far as I am considered quite disappointing. "The V-Word" directed by Ernest K. Dickerson (I wonder what qualifies him as a 'Master Of Horror' anyway), however, is by far the worst episode of this otherwise great Horror anthology. Not only is the story ridiculous and the suspense almost nonexistent, even worse, this quite poor attempt of an MoH episode was so obviously made to advertise a Video game, which the main protagonists not only play all the time, but about which everybody talks about throughout the episode. The performances are also quite poor, the only true reason not to skip this episode is the great Michael Ironside, who at least gives this thing a little bit of eeriness.

I won't bother to describe the plot, since it it so thin that even a short description would mean writing a spoiler. "The V-Word" is watchable for Michael Ironside, but otherwise it's a waste of time. Watch ANY other MoH-episode before giving this a try.

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0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

a quiz for the geeks

7/10
Author: trashgang from Midian
10 June 2013

This episode written by the creator of Masters Of Horror Mick Garris isn't that bad at all. Sure, you have seen it a thousand times before but I enjoyed it somehow being a geek in the genre because there's more to spot then only the story itself.

You can write the story in a few lines. Two youngsters, black and white are playing horror games, Doom 3, on their Xbox. When one is killed they want to go a step further. Let's visit a morgue, that would be more scarier then playing a game. Off they go but once at the morgue the horror comes in. One of the dead people laying there is undead. He's a cross between a vampire and a zombie. He does suck blood so it could be a vampire but he doesn't suck, he tears the neck in pieces before drinking the blood. But I guess the title refers to V from vampire.

As simple as the story is it is rather a quiz to watch for the geeks. When one of the youngsters is saying They're coming to get you, Barbara! I jumped up and screamed, Night Of The Living Dead (1968). But not only that. We do have a few screen shots from Dracula (1931). Here again that was easy, Bela Lugosi and the flick itself. And I moved on, there were much more references to other stories involving feeling guilty (An American Werewolf In London (1981)) about the fact your best friend is being bitten, or trusting on friendship (Black Sabbath (1963)) when the black guy asks to enter his best friend's home once being changed into a vampire. Not only that, the score itself sounded very eighties and I did here notes referring to Halloween (1978) and The Thing (1982).

But for the normal people watching this episode it is very simple with some extreme shots once the neck is being bleeding as hell. It will be for some a bit too gory. But the dark humour added, again a reference to An American Werewolf In London, when the black guy is drinking water makes it the more watchable.

Michael Ironside plays the old vampire. I didn't like it the way he did it because he reminded me too much of a zombie. What I did like was the way they showed the POV from the infected. But at the end of the day, it's a very simple tale with a classic ending but it did work.

Gore 1,5/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 3/5 Story 3/5 Comedy 0,5/5

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4 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

mediocre vampires

5/10
Author: wackassnucca from nope
20 November 2006

Another stinker. Not that bad though. This is the V word, the story of vampires in a small town. Its not original at all very similar to fight night or Salem's lot, just put in a modern setting. It's pretty generic and doesn't seems to have the master's touch that this series usually has. The episode centers around two teens. One of them has divorced parents and the other is often teased by his brothers. What do the kids do to cope with their angst? Go check out a dead dude. So they venture of to the mortuary where they wander around in the for what seems like forever. This is where the director desperately tries to build tension for some kind of quick scare that'll make you jump and go "whoa i'm really scared right now!" This doesn't happen. long after you get sick of their aimless wander a vampire gets up really slowly and saunters around looking real spooky. When he bites the dude's neck it's pretty cool but that's about it. Micheal Ironside is pretty good vampire but its really nothing special.

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