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For Lovers of Bad Acting, Bad Editing and a Really Bad Script
Capsule review: Worse than a youtube short.
A family film? Taking your kids to this one? I have a feeling that the positive reviews for this film were written either for another movie altogether or by a robot spam app.
Sharp as Marbles pretends to be a quirky, indy film but really is only a low-budget mess with horrible acting, terrible directing, clunky amateurish editing and a truly uninspired script. Clerks at a video store? Nope, never been done before.
I felt like I was back in grade school watching the annual play. These 'actors' really make you appreciate the real thing and how hard the profession truly is. The wooden delivery and stiff screen presence might have been acceptable if any of them displayed any sense at all of comedic timing. Sadly, they do not. I can only assume they're the director's buddies from college.
A decent director might have been able to save the film from its terrible acting by playing up on that a la John Waters, or at least through the editing, blotting out the dead spaces, awkward pauses, uncertain delivery and hesitant timing that kill each and every single 'joke' in this film.
Even a decent editing job, however, would not have been enough to save this movie from its script, which, really, displays so little originality that at least two dozen screenwriters could probably successfully sue the Marbles' crew for plagiarism. Why bother? Who green-lighted this movie? I'm going to assume here that the directors' uncle financed this garbage.
As much as I've always enjoyed independent movies and cult films, Sharp as Marbles cannot and should not be categorized among either. Instead, it's an amateurish effort that rivals many a youtube video.
It disturbs me that people claim to have taken their kids to see this film. There's nothing graphic about it sexually, of course, and the lead character's sleazy attempts at picking up girls are meant to be creepy, but really, I don't see any part of this movie that should be interesting for young kids.
Note: this review is for the first 35 minutes only. I could not get beyond that, sorry.
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