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The Love Guru
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The Love Guru More at IMDbPro »

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10 out of 20 people found the following review useful:

How lousy can a movie get?

1/10
Author: kxok630
11 July 2008

It's obvious when a comic knows they're bombing: they resort to the crutch of using dirty jokes or ethnic jokes for cheap, easy laughs. Love Guru is evidence that Mike Myers is dreadfully insecure about the future of his career.

Austin Powers (oh wait, that's the character being rehashed but not what they call him in this flop), learns Eastern Religion and a bad accent. His journey of enlightenment is apparently to insult people (usually with that familiar word that starts with "f"). He chases women, gives advice on how to offend women and therefore get one, etc. There are no laughs, no memorable moments, no reasons to watch this whatsoever. In addition to Myers self-destructing, Jessica Alba continues her challenge to set a record for consecutive lousy performances in worthless movies. Her current run of these career-ending disasters is a number roughly equal to the number of miles that light travels in a year.

This rubbish isn't even good enough for "straight to video" release. The producers, had they had a moment of self-preservation and/or sanity, should have decided not to release it at all.

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10 out of 20 people found the following review useful:

Ugh.

1/10
Author: storyteller51811 from United States
1 July 2008

This movie. Not funny. None of the jokes were funny. Nothing in the movie was funny. I forced laughs a couple times, but i thought it was just silly.. and my friend next to me didn't laugh at all but recommends it now. It's just dirty jokes in a movie and it isn't worth 10 cents.. I didn't really see any redeeming points, but I suppose some would laugh at some of it, if you had a fairly sick mind. But, then, those people could just watch a sick movie online, rather than actually wasting gas and cash to go see a movie like this in theaters. But i suppose that many people do enjoy this kind of thing, maybe. It was sort of sad, seeing as Austin Powers was funny. I don't understand why Mike Meyers and Jessica Alba allowed themselves to be in it. But, on the plus side, one thing in the movie was funny- him saying mariska hargitay to mariska hargitay.

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10 out of 20 people found the following review useful:

Mr. Myers, Please retire because your career is dire.

1/10
Author: johnnymacbest from United States
30 June 2008

An open letter to Mr. Michael Myers.

Dear Mr. Myers.

I am writing to inform you that it's the sign of the times and I think you should read and understand what it clearly means in regards to your....career. The years have come and go but unfortunately they have not been kind to cinema and society in general. The reason I'm writing this letter is because I feel that deep in my heart you should SERIOUSLY consider throwing in the towel and find something else worthwhile pursuing; maybe philanthropy perhaps? If you do that not only will people respect you more but it will also help wash away all memories of those years enduring your crap after crap after crap movies. Although I can't see how this can possibly happen overnight if fate and the universe persists, it will be a sigh of relief if it was all the more true.

Memories. Oh how profoundly fond those memories are and I recall watching "Wayne's World" when I was teeny-weeny with a more less jaded view of the world and then came "Austin Powers". Ahhh, the laughs those provided to help me drift away from the drudgery of life. Then a funny thing happened and the end result was a horrific turn as a pudgy, sex-innuendo laden feline several years ago. In my mind there's no denying that you should have realized that your career tanked at that point for someone once funny to even remotely consider such a perilous career move. The days of "Austin Powers" are gone, buddy. GROW UP AND BE A MAN!!!

Having read the news a while back of your latest endeavor, I hoped that you'll rebound after such a dog-pile-of-you-know-what of said movie. But alas, my hopes were shattered once again and as I left the theater after witnessing such a travesty of talentless vain proportions, the fragility of my mental state almost reached the breaking point when a good Samaritan saved me from what was, to be precise, an almost life-threatening ordeal. I thanked the good Samaritan of course as any sane individual would do and went our separate ways. But I will never, EVER, thank you for releasing such soul-shattering ineptness garbage that nearly killed me dared to be released for unsuspecting, innocent eyes!!!

So in conclusion, after clearing my head of the madness that I suffered, cleansed my spirit as well as my soul, I am now able to return to the outside world once again with the notion that no human being should ever go through such a horrific experience. Although I know that time doesn't heal all wounds but it is known that the human spirit is a remarkable thing that not even the likes of you and the evils of Hollywood inhabiting the blue and green world cannot comprehend. That special someone, that one individual who saved me from the madness you spewed fourth are moments like these that remind me of the good in the world. And for that, I'm grateful.

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10 out of 20 people found the following review useful:

OK movie

8/10
Author: dirt_bike_man656 from Canada
26 June 2008

the love guru is not the best movie around but it depends on the type of humor you have, if you know you don't like movies with stupid jokes and innuendos this is not the movie to see if you like comedy then you should see this movie, it has stupid jokes and stuff but i liked the movie and the 3 other people i saw it with also found it funny and liked it it all depends on the type of comedy you like and what you find funny. i read the reviews that said oh this the worst movie it sucks so when i went to see it i thought o this movie is gonna blow but i was surprised i was laughing the whole time i would definitely go see this i i was just going to have a good time

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10 out of 20 people found the following review useful:

R.I.P. to Mike Myers' Career

1/10
Author: jts0405 from United States
24 June 2008

OK so first of all many people out there know that Mike Myers was the star of Wayne's World 1 & 2, Austin Powers 1-3 and many other notable comedies. Some may also know him from Saturday Night Live back in the 90's when he did several skits with Ben Stiller, Chris Farley, Dana Carvey, etc. But anyway we go from all of these great achievements to the Love Guru. It normally works when Myers plays more than one character but in this movie when he plays Young Pitka, Teenage Pitka, Guru Pitka and himself it is just not as funny as when he played Dr. Evil, Austin Powers, Fat Bastard and Goldmember in previous Austin Powers movies. Mike also found success with the cartoon movie Shrek, which has really started to water down after part 3. I would even go out on a limb and say that Shrek the Third was better than The Love Guru and that was a bad movie. Myers really continues to try and be active out there and I respect him for that, but people want to see his memorable work. After all he left it open for an Austin Powers IV at the end of the third one. People wanted to see Austin Powers IV instead of a lackluster Love Guru movie. Plus why the hell are we watching Justin Timberlake crack incredibly terrible two bit jokes? The whole smuggling a schnauzer thing sounds like a rip off Austin Powers or Wayne's World joke. To all fans of Mike Myers it looks like we will never see another Austin Powers or possibly a Wayne's World reunion movie. Instead we will be treated to at least 15 more Shrek movies and possibly The Love Guru Part II. To all of Myers' fans, let's keep chanting Yeah Baby and Schwing, maybe he will hear us and give up this Shrek Love Guru nonsense.

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10 out of 20 people found the following review useful:

tugginmypudda ... heck with critics

8/10
Author: netizenwa from United States
23 June 2008

If you are not looking for life changing advice and can manage to leave the "holier than thou" elitist movie critic at home, I guaranty fun. Its childish, its fun. In fact funnier than Austin Powers. If you have not watched any bollywood movies lately, I would recommend watching one before going to this one coz Mike Meyers has picked on a few Bollywood stereo types.

Justin Timberlake, Jessica Alba - I am not sure why they chose the movie and why were they picked for these roles?

There is movie screams I don't give rip about movie critics and is not going to be nominated for this years Oscar.

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11 out of 22 people found the following review useful:

Awful & unoriginal!

1/10
Author: raypdaley182 from Coventry
11 July 2008

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Take every bad idea from Austin Powers & Wayne's World, liberally mix them with "The Guru" (starring Jimi Mistry & Heather Graham, obviously where Myers stole the idea for this film) and you've got this excuse for a film. Most of the jokes (if you can call them that) are 1 laugh only, if that. Most of them are actually no laughs at all but that doesn't stop Myers jamming them down your throat with the vain hope you might find them funny if he repeats them often enough. A lot of this movie is recycled ideas from the various Austin Powers films and Myers' love of bad puns and word play (he might want to watch Ronnie Barker in "The Two Ronnies" who has been doing it longer, much better and without repeating himself).

Possibly the only funny moment in the film is when Pitka is being beaten up by 2 children in a bar fight. Worst moment would be the "3 girls named Ann" joke. Myers also managed to not only ruin my favourite song by Extreme but also missed a great opportunity for a good cameo (he could have had the Extreme lead singer playing the sitar). Most of the jokes in this film are funny if you are a boy of 12, sadly I'm not 12 any more and Myers is just trying too hard for the entire film. Most punchlines can be seen from a mile away. Verne Troyer has pretty much destroyed any credible career he might have ever had by agreeing to be in this garbage. And don't even mention the "Elephants" scene which is not only totally pointless but slows down the movie at exactly the wrong moment. Myers doing a cameo as himself is the ultimate in ego indulgence in a film, the eventual outcomes are way too obvious as well.

Roanoake wins The Stanley Cup, gets his girl back from Jacques Grande (played very badly by Justin Timberlake), stands up to his mother and Guru Pitka loses his chastity belt, gets the girl & thus is the rip-off of Jimi Mistry's "The Guru" complete, right down to the Bollywood version of a Western dance number at the end.

Sadly this was just a movie to indulge Mike Myers and his love of childish humour so he's made no progress as either a writer or an actor since he made Wayne's World. Anyone could have filled Jessica Alba's role as she's completely forgettable (Heather Graham was much better in "The Guru", far sexier, a better actress and she could actually sing & dance better too!) and not enough was made of Pitka's sidekick/manservant who deserved a much bigger part in the movie.

Not recommended to even the most hardcore Mike Myers fan. Avoid!

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11 out of 22 people found the following review useful:

Even if you hate reading reviews, please take these seriously

1/10
Author: atzero06 from United States
1 July 2008

I went into the theater with an open mind, as a friend claimed to have enjoyed this movie (that's the last time I take advice from him). After the first 10 minutes it become obvious that the entire movie would be nothing but massively overused, immature jokes that were never funny in the first place, along with very poorly written dialogue and the most predictable storyline since a cop eating a donut. There was not one moment throughout the entire film where I even chuckled once. The only people I would even consider recommending this film to are those with an IQ below 75 who have never once heard a joke in their life. Actually, no, I wouldn't even want them to suffer through it.

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16 out of 32 people found the following review useful:

An absolute shocker.

Author: carrjudd from Australia
11 July 2008

I had a feeling that this movie was going to be bad but I had no idea how awful this stinker was going to be.

I had heard bad things but I liked all the Austin Powers movies and pretty much everything else Mike Myers had done. How gutted I was however when I found myself sitting in front of this stinker.

It's hard for me to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with this thing but I think it was a combination of stinky things. Screen writing, direction, editing were the most obvious weak points. It's like the studio said to Myers "you just do whatever you want and nobody will interfere" and really somebody should have.

I actually stopped watching about forty minutes into the film because I had better things to do (like cutting my toenails).

Avoid this crap at all costs.

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18 out of 36 people found the following review useful:

Another reason to ignore arrogant critics

7/10
Author: B. Caesar Cubillos (CubeJack@aol.com) from El Paso, TX
20 June 2008

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I saw this movie today (opening day) because I just felt like getting a good laugh. This movie is beyond stupid and very over the top, but guess what? It's still funny. It's simple humor and cheap laughs that doesn't rely on overdone profanity and never takes itself seriously. Some people may prefer "intelligent" comedy, and I'm all for that... go rent a Woody Allen flick from the 70s. If you like simple sight gags and silly comedy you'll like this movie. Mike Myers may not have been as funny as he was as Wayne Campbell or Austin Powers, but he can still get laughs. I have been critical of Justin Timberlake in the past, but he finally seems to have found a movie style that fits him.

No, this movie will not be sweeping the awards shows or breaking any box office records, but if you're able to appreciate simply laughs you may want to check this movie out. While I found nothing offensive about the movie at all apparently some disagree. If you're easily offended then stay home or stay outside the theater holding a sign.

Funny cameos also make this film and Jessica Alba looks her best in a long time. Not great, but there's a lot of fun to be had if you don't mind turning off your logic for awhile.

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