Pitka, an American raised outside of his country by gurus, returns to the States in order to break into the self-help business. His first challenge is to settle the romantic troubles and subsequent professional skid of a star hockey player whose wife left him for a rival athlete.
The electrifying FutureSex/LoveShow finds Justin Timberlake putting on a typically stunning set before a sold-out crowd at New York's Madison Square Garden. Fans looking for pulse-pounding ... See full summary »
Born in America, but raised in Havemahkeeta in India, with a population of 76, Maurice had always to better Deepak Chopra, and be sexually active, ever since he was 12. His Guru, Tugginmypudha, while approving of Deepak, cautions Maurice and has a chastity belt put around his waist, much to Maurice's chagrin. Years later, Maurice has established himself as Guru Pitka in America, but would like to appear in the Oprah Show and be better than Deepak Chopra. When Jane Bullard from the the Toronto Maple Leafs hires him to counsel their star hockey player, Darren Roanoke, to win back his wife, Prudence, from Kings' star player, Jacques Grande, and also stand up to his dominating mother, Lilian, he agrees to do so - with hilarious results. Written by
It was heavy-handed, painful and endless. The opposite of funny. An excruciating bunch of penis jokes strung together with some gross-out scenes. Wow! Penises can be short! Penises can be long! Oh, hahaha! Oh, and who can forget the musical numbers. Did I mention that they were choreographed? Mike Myers has lost the charm he exhibited in the Austin Powers franchise. And it's clear that he picked an inexperienced director for this so he could control the shoot. And why does Jessica Alba keep doing crappy movies like this and "Good Luck, Chuck"? Did someone tell her she was a comedienne? And Justin Timberlake -- well, no wonder he wears a wig and moustache throughout. Ironically, though the material is definitely for teen-aged boys, they probably won't go to see it because of the title. It'll maybe have one weekend, then go flaccid. Incidentally, the only truly memorable line in the entire mess is from Verne Troyer in an outtake run with the credits. But it's not worth watching the entire mess to hear it.
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