- [Coach McGuirk appears with Brendon at juvenile court]
- Judge: Brendon, is this your guardian?
- Brendon: I don't know.
- Coach McGuirk: Uh, John McGuirk, Your Honor.
- Judge: Have I seen you in court before?
- Coach McGuirk: Yes, several times, but that's not important, sir. What's important is that my retarded nephew is innocent.
- Brendon: I'm NOT retarded.
- Coach McGuirk: Yes you are, Brendon, now shut up. Uh, Your Honor, during the day of the accident, Brendon was suffering from a severe bout of, uh, mentally challenged... stuff.
- Brendon: What are you doing?
- Coach McGuirk: Mistrial, Brendon. Also, Your Honor, uh, Brendon was suffering from dementia, which, uh, was passed down to him from... me.
- Judge: Now, wait, now...
- Coach McGuirk: I don't even know where I am right now, Your Honor.
- Brendon: I got hit... I was hit by a car!
- Judge: Now, you were hit by a... r-right. S-so what are you telling me here?
- Coach McGuirk: Well, that Brendon was hit by a car, and that... that it was, uh, his fault.
- Brendon: You'd make a FANTASTIC lawyer.
- Judge: What I'm doing is deciding an appropriate punishment. That's the phase of the trial right now.
- Coach McGuirk: Your honour, might I suggest a spanking - on his tush-tush?
- Judge: So you rode down the wrong side of the street into oncoming traffic. What were you thinking, Brendon?
- Brendon: Nothing, I... wait, no, I remember. I was trying to remember the name of the guy who played Tron in the movie 'Tron'.
- [70 seconds later in the scene]
- Judge: Now what we're not disputing who's at fault here. We have an eye witness and police reports. What I'm doing is deciding an appropriate punishment. That's the phase of the trial we're in now.
- Coach McGuirk: You're honor, might I suggest a spanking on his tush-tush.
- Judge: Alright, that's it! Another word out of you and you'll be held in contempt!
- Brendon: Thank you, your honor.
- Judge: OK. Anyway, Brendon, I'd like to start off by...
- Coach McGuirk: Oh, Bruce Boxleitner!