Lange flate ballær (2006)

Directors:

Bjørn Fast Nagell
Harald Zwart (co-director)

Writer:

Pål Sparre-Enger (writer)

Release Date:

31 March 2006 (Norway)

Genre:

Comedy | Sport

Plot:

Six "regular" guys leave their home and life in Fredrikstad in order to go to the World Cup in Germany to cheer on Norway.

Plot Keywords:

Road Movie | Soccer

Cast

Jan Edgar Fjell	...	Edgar
Petter Jørgensen	...	Petter
Anders Fjell	...	Øyvind
Eirik Tobiassen	...	Karsten
Kai Helge Hansen	...	Kai
Henrik Morken Nielsen	...	Helge
Frode Lie	...	Freddy
Roman Roth	...	Klaus Bittman
Vivi Haug	...	Øyvinds mor
Mona Solhaug	...	Anne
Kari Reinertsen	...	Kari
Stine Bernitz	...	Laila
Atle Jensen	...	Mobekkens advokat
Arne Østgård	...	Mobekken
Kirre Jansson	...	Mors advokat

Also Known As:

Long Flat Balls (International: English title)

Runtime:

97 min

Country:

Norway

Language:

German | Norwegian | English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Sound Mix:

Dolby SR

Certification:

Norway:7

Filming Locations:

Berlin, Germany

Company:

Zwart Arbeid

Trivia:

In one scene of the movies you can see famous Norwegian celebrities as Dorthe Skappel, Ari Behn, the music group Wig Wam and the boys from soccer reality TV show "Tufte IL".

Movie Connections:

Spoofs The Matrix (1999)

This movie is so poor, it made me be embarrassed to be Norwegian in the process...

This is one of the most awful movies I've ever seen, probably only surpassed by the dreadful and utterly meaningless Blueberry. How can Harald Zwart even have put his name on this crap. I'm feeling every ounce of respect I had for him waning fast.

So what is it about this film that makes it so poor? Is it the story? Yes. Is it the actors? Yes. It it the whole "look and feel" of the movie? Yes.

To start off with the story, my god!It's about as cliché-ridden and predictable as what you would expect from a drunk 14-year old who is late writing his/her paper on "What I did this summer". The feel-good vibe the makers try to achieve just completely drown as we suffer through yet another embarrassing turn to the story.

The actors are amateurs, I know, and thus we cannot expect them to be of the same quality as professional actors. But for this to work, the characters HAVE to be charming and/or funny (preferably both), so that the viewers don't mind the cheeky acting, or perhaps it even adds to the characters. In this case, not even close baby! You start off disliking the characters mildly, and by the end of the film (I think it's about 90 minutes long, although it feels like 4 hours) you have a strong desire to hurt somebody to get your mind of these annoying stupid guys! It should be impossible to find this movie's attempt at humor successful unless you're actually yourself like these stupid hickeys. Their before mentioned lack of talent and credibility as far as acting goes, only makes the foolish and overly simple scenes fall harder to the ground. Even the family of the people involved will have a hard time finding this anything but very, very embarrassing (I'd rather have my sister make a fool of herself on American Idol).

Finally, why cram in a bunch of misplaced Norwegian celebrities? They look even more out of place than the actors, if this is possible. These celebrity cameos just add to the cheap feeling of the film and is in itself a pretty see-through shot in the dark at trying to improve something broken even before inception.

I cannot even begin to stress how much I'd rather watch paint dry than ever watch this movie again...