- Marcy: Oh, Peggy, I don't know what to do. Steve is an unfeeling cur. As you know, my sainted Aunt Tuney passed away.
- Steve: Sainted, my foot. She used to pay for sailors.
- Marcy: She was sixty-seven and they wouldn't come for free. Any... Anyway, I was her favorite, and the honor of caring for her sainted ashes fell to me.
- Steve: And the horrible cross to bear of caring for her hundred thousand dollars fell to her cats.
- Steve: Thank you, Al, we'll be glad to come. What can we bring?
- Al: Well, just the plates, and some food, and some beers and leave the rest to us. Oh, this is gonna be just great. You know, there's nothing like spending Labor Day with the family, good food, and good friends.
- [reality dawns on Al]
- Al: Oh, God. What a charade.
- [Al breaks down crying]
- Al: Yes, A Family Barbecue.
- [holding out a hand]
- Al: Who's gonna give it a "Whoa Bundy" here?
- [no response]
- Al: ...Eh?
- [Peggy, Kelly and Bud get up from the couch and walk away]
- Al: ...No one? Fine.
- Peggy: Oh, Al. Honey, don't get us wrong. It's not like we don't enjoy sweltering in the backyard, being bitten by horseflies and watching you scratch your sweaty back with our salad forks. But Honey, just once we would like to do something WE want.
- Al: Well, we can't do something that you want, and I'll tell you why. Because its, it's Labor Day, not Leech Day - that's Christmas. It's not Parasite Day - that's Mother's Day. See, this is a holiday for the working guy. It celebrates all the people who work so that all the people who don't...
- [referring to his family]
- Al: ...get to live longer and have more than he does. So tomorrow, unless, God willing, I die in my sleep, I get up for me and celebrate for me. Tomorrow is Al Bun-Day.
- Peggy: Gee, I thought that was Al-O-Ween.