Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (TV Series)

Manners (2006)

Penn Jillette: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Self - Etiquette Consultant : If you're in a restaurant with a tablecloth, you do not eat a hamburger with your fingers. Rather, you take your knife, cut it in half, and eat one half.

  Self - Host : Have some self respect, Gloria. If the chef at this world-class restaurant thought his hamburger would be better eaten in halves, he would have *cut the fucking sandwich himself*! You ignorant, self-serving, kill-joy, nit-picking, burger-cutting bitch! Whore! Asshole! Cunt.

• Self - Host : In a recent poll, eight out of ten Americans said rudeness is a serious problem. The other two told our pollster to fuck off!

• Self - Rudeness Expert : My postulate is that people are rude-...

  Self - Host : Oh! There it is! Thank you, folks! Good night everybody!

  [the credits roll, but then cut back to the show] 

  Self - Host : What? There's more show? Damn!

• [Teller entertains diner guests with a floating bread roll trick while Penn continues] 

  Self - Host : Manners are habits we can cultivate to help us remain considerate of others, even when we're not thinking about it. Of course, real thoughtful consideration for others can easily replace manners. Teller considers that our guests might like to see how the trick works. Thank you, Teller.