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The Hottie & the Nottie
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Index 70 comments in total 

333 out of 414 people found the following comment useful :-
ugh. what cinematic feces!, 17 February 2008
1/10
Author: clayartist2001 from United States

NO! This movie is so god awful it's not even funny as camp. It's so bad it's boring AND you can feel your soul shriveling.

I'd rather sleep with Paris Hilton than watch this crud again, and that's saying something since she's loaded with venereal disease.

Watching this film was like having a view from underneath a toilet....and watching in horror as each piece of cinematic feces after another emerged, falling horribly and inevitably towards you.

If you are fool enough to waste your money like I did you have no right to a refund...my only consolation is that i was one of only 23,000 people retarded enough to sit through this visual and audio septic tank of a film.

Thanks God Americans are not so stupid....uh...except for me, of course.

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287 out of 354 people found the following comment useful :-
I want my 90 minutes back, 15 February 2008
1/10
Author: jodylax from United States

Surveillance Vido of an Empty Parking Lot Is A More Entertaining Way to Spend 90 Minutes. 'Awful' is way too kind of a word for this piece of garbage. And to think, crew people actually had to get out of bed in the morning and waste gas driving to the studio to make this movie. A waste of time, money and effort. The only thing NOT wasted here was talent, since no talent was used in the making of this stinker. Is Paris so broke that she has to stoop this low to get some cash. Offering to water my lawn would garner Paris more respect in the public arena than what she did on screen here. I hope the studio didn't spend more than $50 on the script. If they paid more, they got ripped off.

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179 out of 223 people found the following comment useful :-
Money can't buy love or talent . . . GAG!, 16 February 2008
1/10
Author: jambalaya gumbo from Togo

AWFUL!!!

If ever there was a case for barring someone from the film industry, this piece of trash is it. Money DOES NOT equate talent (or common sense in the case of Hilton).

This movie has little plot and Hilton's zombie-like "acting" puts the deep freeze on anything you might want to get out of the film. There's a reason the rest of the cast is made up of unknowns and little known bit players in Hollywood.

There have been some pretty dense actors through the years, but Hilton is by far the runaway winner of all time. She even believes her award from Harvard is something good!

Some people learn they don't have the skills to be in the business after the first flop, or at least after the second bomb. Hilton however is obviously too blinded by her bedazzled sunglasses and purse to be able to recognize she has been in FOUR of the worst movies of all time!

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153 out of 180 people found the following comment useful :-
But why'd they have to make her so ugly?, 11 February 2008
Author: dove22309 from United States

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

First off, the whole movie might just hit a Razzies grand slam for 2008. This film easily achieves Worst "Actress" for Paris Hilton, but the horrible support of the main actor Joel Moore on her side, the no-brainer screenplay, the childish script (if you look in the quotes section, see if it feels like the way ACTUAL human beings would normally talk), and the horribly wrong direction is not helping her out. It's horrible to see that this movie was accepted to be taken on to be a movie.

The Premise is simple: A guy (Moore) chases the girl of his dreams from kindergarten (Hilton), and finds her just as stunning, and single, as he could have ever dreamed. Well, not entirely single, as she still has the same friend from kindergarten (Larkin), who is hideously ugly. Hideously. Disgustingly. Hell-Hole. Frigging. Ugly! Jesus! All the money it must have took to make 100% sure that Larkin was going to be the most vomit inducing creature must have been half the cost of the movie. The other half must have been Hilton's salary, as, there is nothing else that possibly could have cost money, as the movie really has nothing to offer. Don't get me wrong, though, Paris Hilton's "Acting" doesn't even deserve the time and energy it takes to pull out a check. Before I get off on a tangent (or is it too late), it sickens me to see that hideous creature co-starring this mess.

Well anyway, as it turns out, Moore has to find a guy to go out with Larkin, because Hilton swore that she wouldn't ever date again until her friend has a date too. And, oh-so surprisingly, Moore starts to develop feelings for Larkin despite the ugliness(!!!!!) of her skin. Don't blame me for the horrible predictable screenplay, as anyone with eyes could see that something like this would happen. Of course, normally a moral is at least enough from saving a movie to be a 2 instead of a 1, but the true showing of Moore's character's true liking for the "Nottie" is after her surgery and transformation. It implies to all young girls that they NEED to be that perfect ten in order to be looked gracefully upon society. That is a horrible thing to engrave into a girls mind.

AND THEY HAD TO MAKE HER SO FREAKING UGLY! It's torture staring at the screen with that freakish wreak up there. And half the movie is gross out gags making fun of her. It isn't even like Norbit's make-up department, which made a black man believably Asian. Instead, it enhances unbelievability, as no one would ever be that ugly. Normally, I look for ANYTHING to give in order to prevent a 1 star vote. This includes Acting, Special Effects, Costumes, Dialog, even one fresh joke. But this movie deserves what I give it, the worst possible grade ever. I wish there was a Zero out of Ten, as this movie gives me and my eyes nothing but pain.

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176 out of 226 people found the following comment useful :-
Oh my that's bad, 24 February 2008
1/10
Author: Meeker from Milverton, Ontario Canada

I am just amazed that (as of this moment) there are 554 people who rated this movie a 10...

I would like 10 pounds or 20 gallons of whatever it is that has warped their mentality to such a degree...

Acting - Abysmal to Non-existent... Script - Huh? Wazzat? Directing - Not that I saw.

My only regret is that I cannot vote less than 1...

Although I must say that I am quite satisfied that this flick has rocketed to the numero uno spot of the bottom 100...

R

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149 out of 183 people found the following comment useful :-
why would you do this to people?, 22 February 2008
1/10
Author: tdagpalusky from United States

this movie is to say the least, one of the worst things done to mankind in the past 100 years right behind the a-bomb. I had the misfortune of seeing this piece of garbage with my sister for her birthday. I would not recommend seeing this movie even it it is for comic value of how bad it is. There are 3 scales of bad: 1. the kind that makes you laugh it is so bad (murdercycle) 2. the kind that is soo bad it pisses you off (Epic Movie) 3. Gary busey bad (The hottie and the nottie). i hated it but my sister loved it, (granted she is 12 and has down syndrome (no lie)). the fact that this movie also tries to portray a message is even worse, because i wasn't sure what it was until i did some reading.... this is perfect grounds why IMDb needs a 0/10

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97 out of 108 people found the following comment useful :-
So ridiculously bad, 3 June 2008
1/10
Author: Kristine (kristinedrama14@msn.com) from Chicago, Illinois

OK, I'm not going to bash this film based on Paris Hilton, I admit, I don't like the girl, but I'm not going to base my comment on that alone, I think it's unfair. A lot of people are giving this movie a one just because of Paris without even seeing the movie, it gets a bit annoying. But I don't know why, I think I was just in a mood for one of those awful films that just leave a bad taste in your mouth, I think every once in a while, we need to see something like that. Now the problem with The Hottie and the Nottie, besides it's stupid title? The story, beyond predictable and hypocritical, along with the acting... it's like they just took people off the street who had no credibility to be in a film. I love how Paris Hilton isn't even the main character and yet she is first billed, you know that she paid good money for that or wouldn't be in it, big woop, her as an innocent charity loving girl, that's believable.

Nate Cooper is a man that just can't seem to move on in life, after 20 years he returns to his home town looking for his first grade crush, Cristabel. She's still around making men drool, but she won't go for him unless he can hook her ugly friend, June, up with a guy as well. June has bad teeth, bad skin, bad nails, bad hair, just all in all, it's bad, so Nate does everything he can to get June a guy, but it's more difficult than he could ever expect, until he finds out that love isn't everything he thought it might be.

The script is predictable, stupid, could've been written by a teenager and was very hypocritical, which you will see what I mean if you watch this movie. Now I know that they were just trying to get a big name, but come on... Paris Hilton? I actually had an open mind and just thought to give the movie a shot, but she just is such a horrible actress, like beyond horrible, I'm not just saying that because of who she is, just I know you'll believe me. This is a movie that really shouldn't have been made or if Hollywood wanted it so much, get different people, please, before they do something like cast Paris... never mind. Stay away from this movie at any costs.

1/10

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75 out of 95 people found the following comment useful :-
This Is So Not Hot, 13 February 2008
1/10
Author: dcinsider from United States

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

The Hottie and the Nottie is somewhat of a conundrum; it is a romantic comedy that is neither moving nor funny. It attempts moments of gross-out humor, but holds back from going for an R rating. And for having a target audience of teenage girls, it lacks characters that most girls that age will be able to identify with.

The last two films that Paris Hilton has appeared in have received some of the lowest ratings in the Internet Movie Database (IMDb). Pledge This! received a user rating of 1.6, ranking it at #7 in IMDb's Bottom 100, while Bottoms Up was rated 1.9 and rang in at #22 in the Bottom 100. It appears as though Hilton is lined up for a hat trick with The Hottie and the Nottie, having managed to hammer out three terrible films in a row.

This is not to say all the blame should be placed on Hilton. She does a decent job with what she had to work with. But scriptwriter Heidi Ferrer manages to cram more teen movie clichés and unfunny moments into ninety minutes than any reasonable person could.

The film begins with Nate Cooper (Joel David Moore) remembering first grade and his first experience of love, with Cristabelle Abbott (Hilton). Then the film flashes forward twenty years to an older, sadder version of Nate, accompanied by unnecessary character narration – a sure red flag for a bad movie.

After his girlfriend leaves him, Nate decides to move from Maine to California to find his first-grade crush. Somehow he is in touch with Arno Blout (The Greg Wilson), from first grade, a disgusting mess who lives with his mom. In less than 20 seconds, Arno quickly fills Nate in on all that he's missed in the past twenty years; Cristabelle is hot and single, but that is only because she lives with her ugly friend, June Phigg (Christine Lakin), also from first grade! OMG! So begins Nate's quest to conquer Cristabelle, aided by Arno's stalker file, which tracks her every move. After their lives literally collide, it doesn't take long for Nate to find out what a nice girl Cristabelle is and how she creepily remembers him, too. Of course they cannot be together because that would be a fifteen-minute movie, so she confides that she will not go out with anyone until June gets a boyfriend. Nate vows to find June someone so he can cozy up to Cristabelle.

From here, the film devolves into a banal take on "The Taming of the Shrew" as Nate tries to find someone who will go out with the ugly duckling of a friend, only to find himself suddenly in love with her the instant she gets a makeover. Try not to count the number of loose ends or the implausible leaps of believability -- there are simply too many.

Probably the saddest piece in this Jenga game of absurdity is the director, Tom Putnam. Just five years ago he was named "One of the 25 New Faces of Independent Film" by Filmmaker Magazine. But "fresh" isn't a word that comes to mind when describing this film.

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119 out of 189 people found the following comment useful :-
the most vile cinema ever!, 24 February 2008
1/10
Author: cyan1320 from United States

the most vile cinema ever!!!!! It's so awful the hilton's (was Hitler the original family name, before they changed it right after WWII?) should give a hotel to the few dozen people that might have actually watched the whole thing. Of course anyone that did sit through the whole thing must not have done so by their own free will. This is the kind of stuff you would subject prisoners to at Guantanamo Bay or Abu Ghraib Who would fold under such torture, any one subjected to this could do water boarding all day standing on their head. It's that foul! this is the true holocaust the horror, the horror........ I watched 5 mins before having to wash my eyes with bleach

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66 out of 84 people found the following comment useful :-
This makes Manos seem like North by Northwest, 15 February 2008
1/10
Author: dmc-26 from United States

*** This comment may contain spoilers ***

Seriously, this movie actually got better when I remembered my wife carried pepper spray in her purse, and I dug it out and sprayed myself in the face until the canister was empty.

But, in fairness, not ALL aspects of this movie were 1 star out of 10, and the single score system for IMDb does not address such. So, I will try and expand the grading system:

Plot: WTF were they thinking? Cast: 2 stars. Cinematography...*chortle*. Acting: At least as good as some hip-hop videos played om MTV...you know, the ones starring Vanilla Ice. Costumes/Wardrobe: 4 stars. (See, I am being fair.) Maker-up: Disgusting. On SOOOO many levels. Sheer disgust factor: 1,000,000 stars. The freaks who made this don't seem to understand that laughing at people who are not beautiful is a lot like laughing at people who suffer from a lack of mental ability--it shows your own ugliness.

Forget the fact that the monster-girl blooms, most of the movie she is the troll that gets beaten for our amusement.

Sick. Sick. Sick.

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