Vince D'Angelo: [asking Will to move in with him] I want us to live together. Why are you such a bitch all the time?
Karen: Gin, Please!
Gin: Stop begging.
Karen: No, I was ordering. Gin, Please! Please, you have to forgive me. I have no other choice.
Gin: The question is can you forgive yourself for casting me out after leaving me so hideously deformed? Unable to dance... To skip... To read.
Karen: Why can't you read?
Gin: Eh, I don't want to.
Karen: Oh. It's easy to get caught up. You spin the spinner and call your spot. Twister will tie you up in a knot.
Karen: Well, honey, if they did like me more than you, it was only because I was kind and I listened, and I let them bang me under the bleachers while their friends watched.
Jack McFarland: [to Josh Lucas] It's like you're Matt Damon and I'm Ben Affleck and I just made "Gigli". Or "Paycheck". Or "Bounce". Or "Jersey Girl". Or "Surviving Christmas".