Jim Halpert:
[
to Pam] I'm in love with you.
Michael Scott:
Oh, and another fun thing. We - at the end of the night - are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts, right Toby? We're gonna...
Toby:
Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's, uh, you know there's gambling and alcohol, and it's in our dangerous warehouse, and... it's a school night, and, you know, Hooters is catering, you know... is that... is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael Scott:
Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun... or exciting, you make it *not* that way. I hate... so much about the things that you choose to be.
Michael Scott:
[
to Toby] I hate, so much, about who you choose to be.
Jim Halpert:
I'm in love with you.
Pam Beesley:
What?
Jim Halpert:
I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear but I need you to hear it... Probably not good timing, I know that I just...
Pam Beesley:
What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?
Jim Halpert:
I just needed you to know. Once.
Pam Beesley:
Well, I um... I... I can't...
Jim Halpert:
Yeah.
Pam Beesley:
You have no idea...
Jim Halpert:
Don't do that.
Pam Beesley:
...what your friendship means to me.
Jim Halpert:
Come on. I don't want to do that. I wanna be more than that.
Pam Beesley:
I can't. I'm really sorry if you misinterpreted things... It's probably my fault.
Jim Halpert:
Not your fault. I'm sorry I misinterpreted, ah, our friendship.
[
walks away]
Pam Beesley:
[
on the phone with her mom] About ten minutes ago. No, I didn't know what to say. Yes, I know. Um, I don't know, Mom, he's my best friend. Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I think I am.
[
Jim enters]
Pam Beesley:
Um, I have to go. I will.
[
to Jim]
Pam Beesley:
Listen, Jim...
Jim Halpert:
[
kisses Pam]
Kevin:
I suck.
Darryl:
[
explaining to Michael why he doesn't want fire-eaters in the warehouse for Casino Night] We just have a lot of stuff down there that could be stolen.
Michael Scott:
That's ironic.
Darryl:
What?
Michael Scott:
That *you* are afraid.
Darryl:
Why? Cause I'm from da hood?
Michael Scott:
Dinkinflicka.
Darryl:
[
to film crew] I taught Mike a few phrases to help him with his "interracial" conversations. You know like "fleece it out," "going Mach 5," "dinkinflicka." You know, things us Negroes say.
Michael Scott:
Gimme some.
[
Mike and Darryl do choreographed handshake]
Darryl:
[
laughing] Oh yeah, I taught him a handshake too.
Michael Scott:
...Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to... drop a deuce on everybody.
Dwight Schrute:
[
In response to Jim's claims of childhood telekinesis] I don't believe you. Continue.
Dwight Schrute:
I'm Michael's wingman. I've got his back. Two dates. He's got two dates tonight. My job is keep Jan away from Carol, and vice versa. Michael said, "We must deceive them so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them.
Michael Scott:
Comedy's very much alive... as are homeless people.
Michael Scott:
There are certain topics that are off limits to comedians: JFK, Aids, the Holocaust. The Licoln assassination just recently became funny-I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head. And I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious Aids joke. Still one of my dreams.
Michael Scott:
Jan and I understand each other. The romance thing is sort of on hold for the time being, but we're, we remain good friends. Good friends with privileges - not now, someday.
Ryan Howard:
One beer, and one Seven and Seven with eight maraschino cherries, sugar on the rim, blended if you can.
Jim Halpert:
So that's still going on, huh, you and Kelly?
Toby:
I don't really play cards, but I'm not going to lie to you. It felt really good to take money from Michael. I'm gonna chase that feeling.
Michael Scott:
AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
Michael Scott:
Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief, since apparently, it doesn't exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim Halpert:
The aid to Afghanistan?
Michael Scott:
No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis:
Afghani.
Michael Scott:
What?
Phyllis:
Afghani.
Michael Scott:
That's a dog.
Pam Beesley:
No, that's "afghan."
Michael Scott:
That's a shawl.
Dwight Schrute:
Canine AIDS?
Michael Scott:
No
Creed:
Who has AIDS?
Jim Halpert:
Guys, the Afghanistanannis.
Michael Scott:
Okay, you know what? No. No. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
Dwight Schrute:
[
after Jim tells him that he has the power of telekinesis] I don't believe you. Continue.
Jim Halpert:
Excuse me, how long is the wait for a table for two?
Dwight Schrute:
I would never ever serve you, not in a million billion years.
Pam Beesley:
It's a nice tux.
Dwight Schrute:
I know. It belonged to my grandfather. He was buried in it, so... family heirloom.
Michael Scott:
Two queens on casino night... I'm going to drop a deuce on everybody.
Michael Scott:
Oh, and another fun thing: we, at the end of the night, we are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby? We're gonna...
Toby:
Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's, uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, and it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a school night, and you know, uh... Hooters is catering. You know, is that not - is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael Scott:
Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be. Okay.
Michael Scott:
Why are you here?
Dwight Schrute:
You said when Darrell was coming that you wanted me here for protection.
Michael Scott:
I said... no such... thing.
Michael Scott:
Hey, Carol, how goes the real estate 'biz? Is it real good?
Pam Beesley:
Still me.
Pam Beesley:
Sometimes I don't put Michael through until he's already said something. I look at it as a practice run for him. He usually does better on the second attempt.
Michael Scott:
Jan Levinson, I presume?
Pam Beesley:
Still me.
Michael Scott:
Love triangle. Drama. It all worked out in the end, though. The hero got the girl! Who saw that coming? I did!
Creed:
Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago.
Michael Scott:
I am not your boss tonight. Lady Fortune is your boss tonight.
Stanley:
Will Lady Fortune give me a raise?
Michael Scott:
Just shut it.
Michael Scott:
Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief, since apparently, it doesn't exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim Halpert:
Nope, I think you mean the aid to Afghanistan.
Michael Scott:
No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis:
Afghani.
Michael Scott:
What?
Phyllis:
Afghani.
Michael Scott:
That's a dog.
Pam Beesley:
No, that's "afghan."
Michael Scott:
That's a shawl.
Dwight Schrute:
Canine AIDS?
Michael Scott:
No, humans with AIDS.
Creed:
Who has AIDS?
Jim Halpert:
Guys, the Afghanistanis.
Michael Scott:
Okay, you know what? No. No. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
Related Links
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