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After watching this movie, I just couldn't stop talking about it. Mind
you, not in the sense that someone can't stop talking about a great
book or show, but more along the line of how someone can't stop talking
about their colonoscopy during a diner conversation. In other words,
after seeing this you can't help but try and remove the stain it left
on your very soul by vomiting out the experience onto others.
This movie entered with the tag line of being "written by two of the six writers of 'Scary Movie'!" What they forgot to mention is that the two who wrote it were only responsible for writing the credits and all the jokes deleted for the sake of not causing mass suicide. Put more delicately, this movie almost makes Pootie Tang look Oscar worthy, which ironically enough was made fun of in the last Scary Movie for being horrid. Coincidence? Yeah, not even some sort of Karma dealing fiend would wish this movie upon the world.
"So," you ask, "What makes it so bad?" I bet your thinking that all of the funny stuff was in the previews, right? No, actually there was no funny content in the previews at all, it just seemed that way when taken out of the context of the movie. Much the same way "Hogan's Heroes" was funny to people who weren't in Auschwitz during the Holocaust, the previews are funny to those who haven't seen the movie. When you actually see the movie, you start to ask, "Why was that funny in the preview?" The answer: You can see pretty flowers if you ignore the fact that they are growing from the corpse of a man who died during a freak green house accident.
Do yourself a favor, rent a History channel documentary on the history of documentaries and hit yourself in the head with a hammer. It'll be twice as funny, make three times more sense, and be only a fifth as painful.
In the past 10 years, I've probably seen more than 200 movies at
theaters. This is the first movie that I've ever walked out on. 45
minutes in, I couldn't handle the torture anymore. This is the most
unfunny piece of garbage I've ever seen. Although, I did get a good
chuckle when about 50% of the audience had left before the halfway
It's hard to meet the minimum post-length requirement for this movie, because there isn't much to say about it.
I didn't find any of the gags clever. Nor did I find them funny. I did think some of the set designs looked okay. The casting directors also found someone who looked surprisingly like Jack Black, although sadly the script didn't give him anything funny to do.
Just avoid this. It's not even worth a rental.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
It's a shame to see films that promise to parody the formulaic and
over-constructed nature of "epic" films, but fail, and subsequently
conform to what is now the "spoof" genre. In parodying said films, they
merely reconstruct the setting (poorly) i.e. Willy Wonka's chocolate
river becomes poo. The references to pop culture are 1: over used 2:
Poorly used 3: Irrelevant and not funny. It appears that the budget was
spent on midgets and a dance choreographer (apparently it is funny when
medieval knights, pirates, dwarfs and oompa loompas dance). The
narrative is infantile and not remotely funny, no imagination could
possibly enjoy the pure nonsense of the characterization. Parody films
are meant to parody and this one fails to come even close to funny, it
irreverence is pathetic, not hilarious and the writers...well, where to
start with them.
If you like watching pictures move and people talk, this film is probably for you. If you like films that are intelligent in their parody and genuinely funny, then stick to the Scary Movie catalogue. Even Date Movie was better than this and that's saying something.
This film trades on the pretension that it will be funny it is not, someone should report it to a fair trading body. I personally wonder what is more disturbing, that people would enjoy this movie, or that Hollywood thinks that people will enjoy it.
There is nothing original here whatsoever-same old big breast jokes,
oral sex jokes; sloppy tongue-kissing, spoofing of movies not
necessarily worth spoofing, and using the same old actors (i.e. Adam
Campbell) from other horrible spoofing movies. It is disappointing to
see that actors who have received some acclaim from both critics and
the public alike have starred in this-the worst movie ever made-worse
than Grease 2. And only a few minutes longer than a regular TV show
except without interesting commercials, it is highway robbery to make
anyone pay to see this half-baked movie where writers, producers,
actors and directors have only put half an effort to do something that
at least would be satisfactory. And half is giving them too much
credit. Unfortunately for Kal Penn, Jennifer Coolidge, Faune A.
Chambers and Crispin Glover (you waited for this movie to return to the
big screen? where were you last couple of years? in detox?), I won't be
running to the theatre any time soon to see one of their movies any
Studio decision-makers have to take a stand against these movies-and so does the industry. Pre-teens, teens and young adults have shown that they have interests in seeing well-written, acted, developed and intelligent movies. Don't take the easy way out to do these useless piece of junk.
...but rather just a list of movies that the filmmakers wanted to
parody, strung together by the weakest plot in film history and a lot
of unfunny jokes.
You would think that the team responsible for the mess of a movie that was Date Movie would at least have learned something from their last film to help them avoid the same mistakes, but they didn't.
It would appear they spent more time making parodies as visually accurate as they could and spent almost no time trying to make the film entertaining. Some of the parodies seem completely out of place and don't even fit into what little plot there is.
I couldn't recommend this film to anyone, not even those I hated.
Watching the previews for this movie I was expecting to have some good laughs. After watching the actual movie however I was extremely disappointed. 95% of the movie I didn't even have a little chuckle or a laugh. I ended up slightly laughing to some of the pathetic vulgar stuff. Even the potty humor in this movie was really really bad. ( Worse potty humor ever!) I am a pretty big fan of potty humor and immature stuff ... but what this movie had to offer was sadly disappointing with what was presented. Aside from the humor there was many rap music type scenes where the characters were participating in a lamed down style of a MTV music video... many of these scenes were unnecessary or too much and far from entertaining. They were more or less not enjoyable and far too many like them. Now to the good parts of the movie ... trust me I'm trying hard to find em! Many movies were parodied and you will probably recognize most of them and there is an occasional scene where they throw characters from other movies in for the hell of it just to have them in the movie. I also liked the rap dance scene (only one i liked) where they were doing a Pirates of the Caribbean rap dance. It reminded me of Captain Dan the Hip Hop Pirate..I wonder if they were trying to parody that guy? Well folks there wasn't much more to this movie other than a waste of time and disappointment.
Seriously people, i wasn't expecting much from this and i didn't get much. I at least expected a few laughs from it but i never got it. I think they let five year olds write the script for this crap. Very, very cliché spoof film, you could tell what was coming the whole way through (with a few stupid exceptions). They seriously need to stop spoof movies, i thought you couldn't get any worse than Scary Movie 4 but i was wrong. Writing a spoof takes no talent what so ever, just copy everyones ideas and "try" to make them funny. Now i could go on all day about how bad this movie is but I'm afraid i must go, everyone do yourself a favour, do not see this rubbish.
Some movies are funny, some are not. This movie may be funny to you, if
you liked Date Movie, since both films are pretty much the same in cast
and script quality.
Epic Movie is a loosely strung together collection of slap-stick comedy sketches based on various epic movies (Pirates of the Caribbean, Nacho Libre, Chronicles of Narnia, X-Men, Superman, etc...) so it's probably helpful if you have seen a few of the epics this movie takes off at, to understand the jokes used. (If you've seen the clips during MTV video awards, you get the idea on the kind of jokes I'm referring to). Epic Movie tries to cash in on the Scary Movie, Date Movie, "Movie" Movie franchise, but doesn't measure up to the originality shown in the Scary Movie series.
It doesn't take a genius to recommend that you save your box-office ticket money, and if you're interested, wait for the DVD, since this isn't an essential big screen movie.
Epic Movie (2007) is total crap, no beating around the bush here, it
was so bad it actually angered me that i paid to view this turkey and i
wanted a refund, i felt cheated, the only reason i didn't cause a fuss
at the cinema was the fact that something very funny happened...... a
singing chant started in the audience (of about 12 people), and it went
something like this, why are we watching, why are we watching, why are
we watchinggggg this piece of CRAP!!!! I didn't have a clue what was
going on, the 'script' was idiotic, the actors were totally lame and
annoying and the jokes were pathetic and UNFUNNY, how this ever made it
to the silver screen i'll never know.
I advise anyone who's thinking of going to see this piece of JUNK, to stay well clear and save their money, thank you and GOODNIGHT! 0/10
Alright, it wasn't that bad, but it was close. Sure the Scary Movie series as well as Date Movie were stupid and juvenile, but this is dumber than all the rest. There were a few chuckles, but overall it was mostly me groaning. Nearly every joke was tired and lame. They gave away all the "good" jokes in the trailer. Why Fred Willard and Jennifer Coolidge would be in this I have no idea. But Crispin Glover? The oddball actor who was so great in films like Back to the Future, River's Edge What's Eating Gilbert Grape and more? Yeah that's him all right, as Willy Wonka dancing around to crappy songs. So maybe my title was accurate.
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