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Scary Movie 5
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Scary Movie 5 More at IMDbPro »

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

A parody film for the generation who can't sit still

1/10
Author: Steve Pulaski from United States
8 July 2013

If there was ever a franchise to run out of steam before it even began and was already too long and overdone simply by having one film in its series, it's a franchise belonging to the modern parody genre. I've mentioned before that this is probably the worst genre in cinematic history, and few other genres have experienced such a rapid decline in quality since their birth. The parody genre is still relatively new in terms of feature-length films, with works such as Airplane! and The Kentucky Fried Movie only dating back to the late seventies.

Why did those films work so well and why does Scary Movie V fail so miserably? Because their prime goal wasn't to parody as many films as possible, but rather try and make fun of genre-conventions and certain obligatory things audiences have become accustomed to for so long. When watching a film like Airplane!, it almost makes you a more aware moviegoer because you're seeing how often these clichés are used and how laughable they actually are when put to a sillier context.

Scary Movie V has nothing - simply nothing - to work with, and for sixty-eight minutes does it lumber lifelessly to the next ridiculous and boring film parody before abandoning it almost entirely. There's so much going on, while simultaneously so little, that the film gets its story lost. It keeps changing tones, parody elements, themes, characters, and events to the point that this is nothing more than an overlong collage of cheaply redone scenes from other films of recent years.

The four main films the picture is predicated off of are Mama, Paranormal Activity, Black Swan, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Right off the bat, boy are we a dated party-guest trying desperately to be in-the-loop. Bloody Disgusting's website tells me Scary Movie V began shooting in September 2012, but the film managed to incorporate parodies of Mama and Evil Dead, which didn't hit theaters until the first and second quarters of 2013. This is obviously a move to try and remain current by the time the film comes out. However, because these movies weren't out at the time, the material used to parody them is thin and taken from the trailers, which isn't very convincing or fun. And even so, in three years, who will laugh at these references? More films along the lines of the aforementioned horror films will inevitably be released. Films like Airplane! never get old because their genre-clichés won't allow to them.

For the first time in the franchise's history, Anna Faris and Regina Hall do not appear at all, and the dubious honor of being lead characters in a redundant parody film are handed to Ashley Tisdale and Erica Ash. Other stars such as Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Snoop Dogg, Mike Tyson, Jerry O'Connell, and Katt Williams star as predominately cameos in a film where itself is one big cameo in the field of cinema. Nobody looks to be trying here, and frankly, they don't need to. Pat Proft and David Zucker's screenplay leaves almost no imagination and in just over an hour's worth of time manages to make every joke go on for way too long and make one of the tedious comedy ventures so far this year.

While I haven't formally reviewed the previous films in the series, I have seen them all in either the theater or on DVD. The first was a nifty little feature, following in the footsteps of Scream to a reasonably charming effect. The second film is one of the few cases where the sequel is actually more impressive and funnier than the original film (the same thing happened with Scream 2, in my opinion). The third and forth were instantly forgettable endeavors capitalizing off of the goal to make these films more of a competition of references than actual films with plot that feature jabs at conventions and modern films. The series fell off when Shawn and Marlon Wayans were booted, resulting in David Zucker taking over from there. This is when the films became safe, woefully unremarkable, stale, and disposable.

The word for Scary Movie V is "lifeless," as everything from writing, acting, and even directing by Malcolm D. Lee seems to be nothing more than a pitiful cash-in on material gone dry. When a film dedicated to lampooning other films is trying this hard to make the audiences laugh, it doesn't seem to be any better, more sophisticated, or on any other level than the films being mocked.

Starring: Ashley Tisdale, Erica Ash, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Heather Locklear, J.P. Manoux, Jerry O'Connell, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Mike Tyson, Snoop Dogg, and Katt Williams. Directed by: Malcolm D. Lee.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

horriawful (worse than horrible and worse than awful)

1/10
Author: mr cumshot
3 July 2013

First of all I just want to warn everybody that hasn't watched this abomination yet, just stay away from it (as far as possible). It's the one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life (so far).

I had to try it out, although my friends told me not to, because I'm a fan of the scary movie saga. The first one was great, the second was kind of good, the third was hilarious and the fourth was good.

There are so many things that don't make sense in this movie. I didn't crack a smile the WHOLE 86 minutes. I'm being dead serious. It's not even funny because I wasted precious time of my life, but that's what happens when they make very bad movie attempts.

I still have a few questions on my thoughts though... What happened to the movie parodies they used to do? Did they run out of ideas? Why is it so unoriginal, boring and stupid? What's with all the celebrities that don't fit in? Is this a celebrity hangout or something? Who would want to watch that? Is it time to end the scary movie saga here?

If anybody is kind enough to answer my questions I would really appreciate it..

I'm telling you right now I would have more fun watching a rhino taking a dump. I didn't think it was this bad but I was wrong. If you are curious to see how bad it sucks just do yourself a favor and buy some candy or do something else with your money and time.

Before I end this I just want to say it is not worth the time nor the money so don't even try! You have been warned!

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Worst Scary movie ever!

2/10
Author: dfc-london10 from London, England
2 July 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I personally believe that after after Scary Movie 2, they started to lose quality and this one unfortunately didn't pick it up. The initial scene with Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan was interesting, but after that it's just a downhill of jokes that are not funny and the timing is completely off. The choice of actors was completely wrong and the acting itself is completely wrong for the most part. The parodies of the movie itself are completely wrong and so apparent, that it takes the whole joy out of watching this. At least the other Scary Movies had that bit of mystery which sort of left you guessing which movie they were making fun of and sometimes it was downright in your face, but here it is just 100% clear what they are doing and sometime don't even bother changing character names or change some of the events (such as Mama, for example) If Anna Faris or any of the other cast members had been involved in this, the movie could have been a bit enjoyable, as it stands, it may mean the end of the franchise.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Pretty bad

3/10
Author: Raul Faust from Joinville, Brazil
1 July 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

You know, I'm not that kind of guy that hates every parody movie stating it's a "brainless piece of trash". I usually ADORE this kind of film, specially Scary Movie franchise; all the four installments were GREAT to me. However, "Scary Movie 5" is just a BIG deception to me. They had seven years to make a decent film or innovate in the saga, but on the contrary happened; this version doesn't have the hilarious feeling all the others had. It's really such a shame that David Zucker changed so much in his work; "Scary Movie 5" has simply NO plot whatsoever. It's just a bunch of random scenes, most full of bad and old jokes we're tired of watching. The only scene I laughed is when the maid did housework while sleeping. Other than that, it's full of bad acting, specially from Lindsay Lohan and Ashley Tisdale. "A Haunted House" has MUCH more the spirit of "Scary Movie" franchise with better jokes and plot. Watch that instead.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Worst "Scary Movie" Movie ever!

2/10
Author: djay782 from Dallas
28 June 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Cinema is really taking a nosedive this year. The definition of the word joke is really changing before my eyes. Please let there be someone out there with a defibrillator and bring the parody movie back to life.

One of the star in my rating was because of the 2 laughs I got and the other one was that it wasn't like the Jason and Aaron movies.

The laugh I got was from Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller. I was surprised that Mac Miller would make me laugh because I can't get into his music. The other laugh I got was when the husband and the maid fought on the front yard.

Are you seriously going to parody "Fifty Shades of Grey" when that is not even a movie yet? This movie was already late to the party when they parody "Inception", "Black Swan", "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and "Madea" You also put Ted in the poster? He is not even in the movie! If he was, it wouldn't even had been clever. It would have been a cheap CGI version of him or a little guy in a god awful Ted costume. I bet that they filmed the parody of "Evil Dead" right before they released it. There was another joke about the pool machine cleaners having a party. That really feel flat. I bet Ashley Tisdale did this because she had no other offers on the table.

Ignore this movie.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Wasn't Expecting Much, Worse then I Expected

1/10
Author: Mitchell Burr from Kitchener, Ontario
26 June 2013

I've been a big scary movie fan and the last two have really let me down. I knew not to expect much based on Scary Movie 4 but was hoping with the amount of hype and good trailer I could expect more. However, this feel very far from the mark, it wasn't humorous at all, I understand they go over the top, but this just looked like they were trying way to hard to be funny, with material that has been done a thousand times. I've seen better low budget parody movies in the last 6 months, that probably had about an 8th of the budget as this. The actors used were of very low talent, and you know you've done something wrong when you cannot even get the series lead star to come back for the fifth movie. Giving this an honest 1/10 because it was really that bad, extremely poor writing, extremely bad acting and just no scene where I could laugh and I laugh at everything.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

Scary MoVie? Boring, Unfunny Crappy MoVie is more like it....

1/10
Author: satanclaw from Norway
23 June 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

If there was a 0 rating out there, I'd go for it, this is nothing like the other movies in the series, I don't even think a resurrected Leslie Nelsen would have been able to make it watchable.

The people who wrote this, took away the assumption that the audience has a brain, and therefore able to process jokes. They seemed to have this pressing need to explain, or overly set up every joke, so it's just unfunny by the end..

The opening: Having sheets jump up and down in fast forward with Benny Hill music, clowns and animals underneath is just not funny. It's playing on 1970's cliché sexual humor, in a really, really bad "Missing the point of the original joke" way. There was absolutely nothing about the opening sequence that was funny in any way shape or form. Especially having Charlie Sheen fly through the air and hitting the camera, it wasn't really done in a comical way.

The Middle bit: Complete and utter crap. It's like the people who made this doesn't get what's funny, they simply lack any form of humor.

Old Jokes, I'd say 60% have been done in previous Scary Movie Films, but in a funny context, this just ain't funny.

In stead of this crap, if you are a fan of Scary Movie, go see "A Haunted House - 2013" a Horror Spoof movie made by the maker of Scary Movie 1, Keenen Ivory Wayans.

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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:

By far the worst comedy I've ever seen...EVER

1/10
Author: Pontus Gruffman from Sweden
17 June 2013

Going to see this "film" (Would prefer to use the term garbage) I had semi-high expectations, Yes we all know that the scary-movie brand is all about going over the top and constantly forcing jokes down your throat, but in the previous movies it was rather enjoyable and something you could consider watching on a rainy day.

This movie however was all about forcing, it was like listening to a comedian constantly hurling out punchlines with nothing to back it up.

It saddens me to say that with this crappy wannabe-movie the entire brand of scary movies has come to an end and I advice everyone who has ever seen a scary movie and thought it was OK to never see this one.

It felt like torture in the theater and more than half of the crowd left 30 minutes into the movie because of its incredibly bad humor and timing.

This is about as bad of a movie that you can make, really...

PS: made this account only to warn others not to go and waste their money to see this garbage, it will make you angry and most likely give you the urge to continuously punch someone in the face in order to get rid of your frustration from all of the bad attempts of making you laugh.

bye...

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2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

Worst movie I have ever seen

1/10
Author: MaTachi from Sweden
21 July 2013

It's funny how this movie was marketed with big pictures of Charlie Sheen, when he is in the movie for about a total of 3 minutes. He starts the movie with boring sex jokes and afterwards it's only downhill.

The movie is filled with unimaginative and lazy slapstick humor and sex jokes. Halfway through the movie I started to question whether they even were trying and if the director found this funny. It's utter crap, a waste of time and it feels extremely non-serious.

There were only 13 people in total in the cinema I saw the movie in, so I guess many were smarter than me who got tricked into watching it. After the movie had ended I felt ashamed when I walked passed the owner on my way out.

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2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

the worst movie ever

3/10
Author: rivado9 from Australia
22 April 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Im around 14-15 years old and i decided go to movie with a friend. i was a massive fan scary movie franchise and was waiting for this movie for 4 years. The movie is about a couple Ashley tisdale who should of stayed in kid movies and Simon Rex who was only one in the movie who actually made not want to walk out of cinema. they these three creepy kids who is possessed by this ghost / demon. they spoof movies which are black swan , mama , paranormal activity and many more. only laughs i got was Charlie sheen scene and 3 scenes with Simon Rex. it was very fast pace and i felt like it went for 20 mins. should keeped old cast like Anna faris, Regina hall , Anthony Anderson , Kevin hart. terry crews and snoop lion was average. in the end was movie is terrible.

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