Jake's teacher tells his rioting parents his grades are hopeless, but at least he could get into some extracurricular activities, so they agree he'll audition to join the school's drama club's musical-cast. After Alan proposed a Gilbert and Sulivan monologue and Jake a pornographic rap, Charlie has the boy choose classic rock, but even by his standard Queens for piano and tonelessly howling treble just isn't the same. Charlie is proud when he hears Kandi's stupidity finally drove Alan to cheat on her, disappointed to hear it's only talking to Jake's teacher Francine, no sex, so when he's expected to lie fraternally he does more: Kandi is made to expect a diamond necklace, Francine to believe he's a hero in selfless charity... Written by
Did You Know?
The title is based on the old proverbs: And the plot thickens. See more
[spots Kandi across the room
Is that a diamond necklace? You never gave *me* a diamond necklace.
Yeah, well, you never gave *me* extra special, bonus sex.
I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General
Composed by W.S. Gilbert
& Arthur Sullivan
Performed by Jon Cryer See more