Death Row (2007) (V)

User Rating:

4.1/10   

Directors:

Eduardo Quiroz
Jose Quiroz

Writers:

Eduardo Quiroz (writer)
Jose Quiroz (writer)

Genre:

Thriller

Plot:

Cast

Joe Estevez	...	Thorton
Todd Bridges	...	Mark Violet
Elias Castillo	...	The Killer
Chris Angelo	...	Canello
Jose Rosete	...	Francisco 'Chico' Duran
Jimmy Bridges	...	Terrence Foster
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Keith C. Marshall	...	John Soto
Eduardo Quiroz
Jose Quiroz
Owen Thomas	...	Baldomir
Carl Washington	...	Lorenzo "Ren" Martin
Victor Zaragoza

Runtime:

85 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Filming Locations:

Oakland, California, USA

Company:

Pumpkin Patch Pictures

Movie Connections:

References Cry_Wolf (2005)

Resume cinematography at its worst.

Unlike the single other reviewer - totally objective and sincere, I'm SURE! - I'm really not certain what the plot of this movie was supposed to be. As far as I can make out, it's a resume padder for everyone involved, from executive directory through to best boy.

Nobody involved really seems to care one whit what's going on; they're far more interested in showcasing the range of their "talents" for their next job. Unfortunately, this involves them running through their entire "range" in every. Single. Scene.

On the bright side, this does mean that since every scene is more or less identical - ludicrously camp baddie chews the scenery while token victims point a 9 and chant "Must. Obey. Evil. Spirits" (then get dragged around by erratically composited CGI) - you really only have to watch 5 minutes to experience everything that this movie has to offer. I sat through it so that you don't have to. If you want the full nuances, there seems to be two completely separate movies going on here, edited together into one disjointed whole. Really, who knows? Not the actors or editor, that's for darn skippy.

Think live action Scooby Doo meets My First Student Movie Project, acted by That Guy Who Looks A Bit Like the Brother of That One Dude from That Other Film that Kind of Didn't Suck as Much, and you've captured the essence of Death Row.

The two point of interest are: the nerd in the Heist sub-Movie is wearing his Han Shot First shirt on back-to-front, and the lead sweater-meat in that sub-movie has a huge nose that exceeds her looks, talent and fame to such a degree that it guarantees that she absolutely must be boinking an executive director in order to have landed the role. Ain't Hollywood wonderful?