- Benson DuBois: Oh, Zeke, you got to stop doing all these things for me, man. The other day you washed and waxed my car. Last night I'm trying to watch Quincy, you vacuumed the whole house, and now you're doing my shirts. All this doing for me makes me nervous.
- Zeke Webster: Sit down.
- Benson DuBois: Why?
- Zeke Webster: Because I cooked a pot roast and some vegetables for dinner.
- Benson DuBois: Maybe you want my opinion, Clayton
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: No you don't, Benson. You're just looking for an opening to make a smart remark, a joke at my expense. Well I'm on to you. I'm not going to set you up anymore. I'm nobody's fool.
- Benson DuBois: Don't worry. Somebody someday will adopt you.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: [Kraus has just gotten a letter from her prison pen pal] He wants to meet me face to face.
- Benson DuBois: What, is he crazy? Hasn't he been punished enough?
- Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: Sir, if you want my opinion
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: No, Clayton, I don't
- Zeke Webster: [Zeke dishes out a meal he made and gives it to a food critic] Here you go, mon-sewer.
- Monsieur Arnaud: Merci, Merci.
- Zeke Webster: Uh, just don't forget to bring the spoon back.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: I'm so nervous about meeting Zeke.
- Denise Florence Stevens: Oh, Gretchen, calm down and just remember he;s the same man from the letters, a gentle man, a sweet man.
- Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: A man who's been behind bars for seven years.
- Governor Eugene Xavier Gatling: Clayton, it's been IRCA, IRCA, IRCA, all morning.
- Benson DuBois: Then stay away from Kraus's donuts.