Memorable quotes for
Hot Rod (2007)

advertisement

Rod Kimble: [pronouncing the 'wh'] The safe word is "WHiskey."
Kevin Powell: [pronouncing it with a silent 'h'] You mean whiskey?
Rod Kimble: [pronouncing the 'h'] WHat?
Kevin Powell: I just don't understand why you're saying it that way.
Rod Kimble: [pronouncing every W as WH] WHy am I saying WHat *WHat* WHay?

---

Rod Kimble: [absent-mindedly, as Denise walks away] You look pretty.
Denise: [turning around] What?
Rod Kimble: I said you look shitty.

---

Dave: Hey, Rod, thanks for the ride.
[Rod sees a chuck of metal lodged in Dave's eye and they both scream]
Dave: Hey, buddy. How's it going?
Rod Kimble: Dave, what happened to your eye?
Dave: This? Is it really noticeable?
Rod Kimble: Yeah!
Dave: Is it really noticeable?
Rod Kimble: Yeah!
Dave: Oh, man, it's totally serendipitous. Well, I got off work early, and you know my buddy Derrick? Well he was like, "I've got this acid, but I can't do it." And I was all like, "Well, I'll do it." So I did it. And by the time I got on my banana board, man, I was... I was tripping balls pretty hard, man. So I decided to get on my bench grinder and a piece of metal flew up and hit me right in the eye. It was pretty awesome. And that brings us to now.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, well, just try and relax.
Dave: Can't do, man. Can't do. I'm gonna be honest with you, Rod. You look like a giant eagle with fire all around you and you've got a mountain for a face.
Rod Kimble: I'm guessing that's the drugs, Dave.
Dave: Yeah, but it's also just kind of weird seeing you drive this minivan.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, well, it's my mom's.
Dave: Balls, man! We just ran over a small bus. This really small bus, we just ran over it.
Rod Kimble: I didn't see anything.
Dave: Hey, we're here. Seriously, man, this is one of the top-ten nicest things anybody has ever done for me.

---

Marie Powell: It's nice to see him smiling again.
Rod Kimble: He won't be smiling -...
[yelling]
Rod Kimble: WHEN I MURDER HIM!

---

Rod Kimble: Did you reinforce the take-off ramp?
Rico: No, we didn't have time.
Rod Kimble: [unsure] Cool.

---

Dave: Uh... Why is Rod kissing his sister?
Kevin Powell: Oh, Denise isn't his sister.
Dave: Man, that totally shatters my universe.

---

Barry Pasternak: Now I don't want to say that kiss was hot, but if the boner police are here, I need a lawyer!

---

Kevin Powell: Hey, Rod, what's that song about a grandma getting run over by a reindeer?
Rod Kimble: "Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer"?
Kevin Powell: [swivels hips] noooo...!

---

Rod Kimble: I used to be legit. I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. but now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit.

---

Rod Kimble: Hey, I just asked Cathy out.
Dave: Really? What'd she say?
Rod Kimble: She said yes.
Dave: Wow. That's amazing. I'm, like, totally green with jealous rage right now.

---

Denise: I'm sorry, Rod. What were you going to ask me?
Rod Kimble: Um, I was gonna ask you who you think would win in a fight between... a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco.
Denise: Is that what you were really going to ask me?
Rod Kimble: Of course.
Denise: Well, I think the grilled cheese sandwich - in a fair fight. But if it was prison rules, I'd put my money on the taco.
Rod Kimble: Wow, that's pretty racist, but correct. I'll see you later.

---

Cathy: Why do you call yourself Voltron, Dave?
Dave: I don't know Cathy, maybe because it's *super* bad ass?

---

Rod Kimble: All great men have mustaches!
Frank Powell: Yeah, but real men actually grow them!
Rod Kimble: You know I have a hormone disorder!
Frank Powell: Ooh!

---

Rod Kimble: Cool beans?
Kevin Powell: Cool beans.

---

Rod Kimble: [guessing the flavors of Jelly Belly's] Toasted marshmallow.
Kevin Powell: Right.
[hands him another]
Rod Kimble: [confused look] Raspberry?
Kevin Powell: [looks down in disappointment]
Rod Kimble: Psych! Very Cherry.
Kevin Powell: Right. A hundred straight!

---

Rico: I'm freakin pumped! I've been drinking green tea all goddamn day!

---

Jonathan: [drives up to convenience store] I'm going in for a Vitamin Water, should I make that dos?
Denise: No, I'm good, thanks.
Jonathan: Well, maybe I'll pick up a box of dong bags so we can knock boots later.

---

Rico: [putting on stolen hat] This is my hat now! This is totally my hat!

---

Rico: Yoo-hoo, shit heads, I found this bag of fireworks in the men's restroom. Would you guys like to light them off?

---

Dave: You know, pools are perfect for holding water...

---

Rod Kimble: Life is pain - we've got to scrape the joy from it every chance we get.

---

Dave: Balls, man! We just ran over a small bus!

---

Rod Kimble: You're wrong, Frank. I'm not a kid, I'm a man. I am gonna get you better, and then I'm gonna beat you to death!

---

Rod Kimble: I needed to think about last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done.

---

Rod Kimble: I'd rather die than live in a world where I can't kick your ass.

---

Kevin Powell: It's bouncing around the Web like a beachball at a Nickelback concert.

---

Rod Kimble: He died instantly... The next day.

---

Rod Kimble: Hey, Denise, have I ever shown you a picture of my dead dad?
Denise: No.
Rod Kimble: Oh, you've gotta see it. He's super dead.
Denise: That's him? He looks so nice. He was a stuntman?
Rod Kimble: Oh, yeah. He used to work for Evel Knievel, testing his bikes before big jumps. He would do the jumps first to make sure they were safe and let Evel come in and get all the glory. After a while the old man said, "To hell with that. I want the credit I deserve." So one afternoon, he set out to jump ten milk trucks. He nailed the take-off, but when he landed, something terrible happened. His front tire exploded like a cannonball, and his handle bars went straight through his head. Blood was everywhere. His teeth were ground down to a powder, and the front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly... the next day.

---

Rod Kimble: The front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly, the next day.

---

Rod Kimble: [singing] Ohhh when you go on a date, you put on a shirt! And you drive your bike to the daaaaate!

---

Rico: I'm kinda grumpy today, dude. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I was having those dreams again. Ya know, how it's just me in a castle and I gotta fight, like, a thousand wizards and the only way to beat them is to punch them as hard as I can in their faces. Then, when I'm done, all their little wizard wives came out and wanted me to have sex with them - which is kinda weird.

---

Rod Kimble: [singing] Please believe, I do my laundry with no pants on!

---

Dave: Come on, Richardson, you're being a tool.
[with a megaphone]
Richardson: There are no tools - in *this* pool!

---

Denise: Tai Chi teaches that if you focus your body and mind you'll be able to perform at the peak of your abilities.
Rod Kimble: Yes, sensei.
Denise: You don't have to call me sensei, Rod.
Rod Kimble: Got it. Sensei, I have a question: Is there a Tai Chi move that would make a grown man crap his pants and not know why?
Denise: I'm not gonna lie to you, Rod. That move does exist. But you're not ready for it yet.

---

Rico: [while beating up a man] God I go to church every goddamn Sunday! You gonna bring the demons out of me!

---

Dave: Oh, man, he hit his ass with a parking cone! Nice.

---

Rod Kimble: Mom, have you seen my hip pads?
Marie Powell: In the kitchen.

---

Cathy: Why'd you call yourself Voltron?
Dave: I don't know. Maybe cause it's super badass!
Cathy: You're weird.
Dave: Hells, yeah, I am.

---

Rod Kimble: You have only to believe if you wish to achieve. That rhymed. Unintentional.

---

Rod Kimble: So, Denise, tell me about Jonathan. What's that dude all about?
Denise: Well, we've been going out for about a year.
Rod Kimble: Mhmm, and it's going well?
Denise: Yeah, yeah. I mean, every relationship has it's ups and downs, but...
Rod Kimble: Right. I've heard that. And he's a nice guy?
Denise: Oh, yeah. I mean, he's really smart. He's actually in line to become a junior partner at his law firm.
Rod Kimble: Right, totally. You guys should break up.
Denise: What?
Rod Kimble: Nothing. Hey, Dave's back!
Dave: You guys, the bathroom here is nuts!

---

Jonathan: Looks like you got stood up, huh?
Rod Kimble: No, she's coming.
Jonathan: Okay.
[stifles laugh]

---

Rod Kimble: I'm officially kicking off Phase Two: Operation Fiscal Jackhammer.

---

Furious Boss: You're a terrible stuntman.
Rod Kimble: What?
Furious Boss: [louder] You're a terrible stuntman.
Rod Kimble: What?
Furious Boss: [screaming] You're a terrible stuntman!
Rod Kimble: Haha, I'm just kidding. I could hear you. It was just really mean.

---

Rod Kimble: [after finding out his dad wasn't a stuntman] So how did he die?
Marie Powell: He choked on some pie.
Rod Kimble: What? Come on! Seriously?

---

Dave: Whatever happened to "Live as a team. Die as a team"?
Rod Kimble: It's a sham, okay? There's no such thing as a team. You live and die alone.
Rico: [to Rod] Do you see what you're doing to him? You're making him upset. How important is this to you, huh? I don't even cry, and look at me. You're about to make tears come out of my face.
[screaming]
Rico: Who am I supposed to build ramps for? Who am I supposed to build ramps for now?

---

Dave: He's going in circles!

---

Dave: I have various responsibilities within the crew. I'm kind of a jack-of-all-trades, really. I, one time, manned a flamethrower.
High School Girl: Cool.
Dave: Of course it's cool. It's awesome as shit.

---

Rod Kimble: Who wants to see me do a big-ass stunt?

---

Rod Kimble: Frank, I'm going to get you better, you old sack of shit, and then I'm going to uncork the ass beating of a lifetime on you! And you will respect me! Peace!

---

Barry Pasternak: Rod's crew is running to his side. I, for one, hope none of them had a fight with Rod this morning because he is more than likely dead.

---

Barry Pasternak: They've done it! They've raised $50,000 for Frank's conveniently priced surgery!

---

Rod Kimble: Have fun being married to SATAN!

---

Rod Kimble: [bowing, in a high pitched sing-song voice] Ancestors protect me.
Kevin Powell: [bows back and sings in a high pitched voice] May they protect you.

---

Rod Kimble: [bowing, sings] Gods of *War*.
Kevin Powell: [bows back, sings] May your hammer be mighty.

---

Related Links

Plot summary	Plot synopsis	Plot keywords
FAQ	Parents Guide	User comments
Trivia	Goofs	Main details
IMDb quotes browser	Search quotes section
Browse titles with quotes by letter    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Other