Jack Moriarty: You pretend to buck the system, pretend to be a rebel, claim to hate rules. But all you do is substitute your own rules for society's. And it's a nice, simple rule: tell the blunt, honest truth in the starkest, darkest way. And what will be, will be. What will be, should be. And everyone else is a coward. But you're wrong. It's not cowardly to not call someone an idiot. People aren't tactful or polite just because it's nice. They do it because they've got an ounce of humility. 'Cause they know that they will make mistakes. They know that their actions have consequences. And they know that those consequences are their fault. Why do you want so bad not to be human, House?
Jack Moriarty: You think that the only truth that matters is the truth that can be measured. Good intentions don't count. What's in your heart doesn't count. But a man's life can be measured by how many tears are shed when he dies. Just because you can't measure them, just because you don't want to measure them, doesn't mean it's not real.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, I always say if you're gonna get shot, do it in a hospital.
Jack Moriarty: [in House's office, after figuring out which Doctor is House] I was a patient of yours.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh, well, if you want to leave chocolates downstairs...
[pulls out a gun and shoots House in the gut]
Jack Moriarty: [the team tries to help House] Stay! Stay away from him!
Jack Moriarty: Shocking isn't it? Who'd want to hurt *you*?
[shoots House again]
Dr. Gregory House: I got shot. Diagnostically boring. Big tongue, on the other hand - endlessly entertaining.
Dr. James Wilson: If you could think of everything yourself, you wouldn't need a team to annoy.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Next time you get shot, I promise to only treat the bullet wounds.
Jack Moriarty: I don't wanna hear semantics.
Dr. Gregory House: You anti-semantic bastard!
Jack Moriarty: You don't care if you live or die?
Dr. Gregory House: I care because I live. I can't care if I'm dead.
Dr. Gregory House: He's got a temperature of 103.
Dr. Robert Chase: Why do we care?
Dr. Gregory House: Because we're humans, we work like that.
Dr. Gregory House: Getting shot is not an FDA-approved treatment for anything.
Dr. Gregory House: People suck. People are why you have one eye, one ball, and a stapled on face.