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"South Park" Cartoon Wars: Part 1 (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

Quotes

Eric Cartman: How would you feel, Kyle, if there was a cartoon on television that made fun of Jews all the time?

Kyle Broflovski: Uh...

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Eric Cartman: Do you have any idea what it's like? Everywhere I go, "Hey Cartman, you must like Family Guy, right?" "Hey, your sense of humor reminds me of Family Guy, Cartman." I am NOTHING like Family Guy! When I make jokes, they are inherent to a story! Deep, situational and emotional jokes based on what is relevant and has a POINT! Not just one interchangeable joke after another!

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Kyle: [after learning of Cartman's plan to destroy Family Guy] You unbelievable son of a bitch!

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Randy Marsh: [after learning that "Family Guy" will air an episode featuring the prophet Mohammed] FAMILY GUY! I damn you to hell!

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Chris Stotch: Freedom of speech is at stake here, don't you all see? If anything, we should all make cartoons of Muhammad, and show the terrorists and the extremists that we are all united in the belief that every person has a right to say what they want! Look, people, it's been real easy for us to stand up for free speech lately. For the past few decades we haven't had to risk anything to defend it. But those times are going to come! And one of those times is right now. And if we aren't willing to risk what we have, then we just believe in free speech, but we don't defend it!

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Randy Marsh: We stay here through the night, and wait it out to see if they do anything. If we're still alive in the morning, then we'll know we're not dead.

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Herbert Garrison: Let's all look at why Muslims are upset. First of all, in the Muslim religion, you're not allowed to have what? Sex. Good. There's no sex until marriage in the Muslim world. Now, this would be fine except that in the Muslim religion you also can't... Anybody? Jack off. Okay, jacking it is strictly forbidden in the Muslim religion. And what do we know about the places Muslims live? They live in? Good, sand. Now put yourself in the shoes of a Muslim. It's Friday night, but you can't have sex, and you can't jack off. There's sand in your eyes and probably in the crack of your ass, and then some cartoon comes along from a country where people are getting laid, and mocks your prophet. Well, you know what? I'd be pretty pissed off too!

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Eric Cartman: It's simple television economics, Kyle. All it takes to kill a show forever is get one episode pulled. If we convince the network to pull this episode for the sake of Muslims, then the Catholics can demand a show they don't like get pulled. And then people with disabilities can demand another show get pulled. And so on and so on, until Family Guy is no more! It's exactly what happened to Laverne & Shirley.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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