- Antony Royle: Hey, Dad.
- Jim Royle: [grunting] Hm?
- Antony Royle: Where were you when Kennedy was shot? Because everyone's supposed to remember where they were.
- Jim Royle: Kennedy dead? When?
- [everyone laughs]
- Jim Royle: I don't know where the bloody hell I was--but wherever I was, there's a bloody good chance our immersion heater was on!
- Cheryl Carroll: What have you given me Mam? She's gone as giddy as a kipper.
- Barbara Royle: Oh, she's had a mug of Pomagne.
- Cheryl Carroll: Oh, I love Pomagne.
- Barbara Royle: Oh, I'm sorry, love. There's none left. There's a can of lager going begging.
- Cheryl Carroll: Oh, no thanks, Barbara, I'm dieting. Me Mam's sponsoring me.
- Jim Royle: How much do you owe her?
- [chuckles]
- Denise Royle: Well, I don't care what anybody is. I don't care whether they're gay, straight or Australian. It's what they're like as a person that matters.
- Jim Royle: Alright, Barb, steady on there, will ya. It's not bloody Live Aid, ya know. It's just me bloody birthday.
- Denise Royle: Cheryl, you look absolutely gorgeous.
- Barbara Royle: Oh, I love the way you've done your eyes. What have you used?
- Cheryl Carroll: It's Boots own Number 7.
- Dave Best: What's on the other eye?
- [Jim chuckles]
- Denise Royle: What time are we going down the Feathers?
- Jim Royle: Well, as soon as you're ready.
- Cheryl Carroll: Right, I'll nip home and make meself beautiful.
- Jim Royle: Oh, are you just coming for last orders then?
- [chuckles to himself]
- Antony Royle: [as Antony talks about fighting the Beswick brothers] They're hard, them two, when they're together. All right?
- Jim Royle: Well, wait till they're on their own, and give them a bloody good hiding.
- Antony Royle: Well, they're never on their own, are they?
- Jim Royle: Why, they don't shit out the one arsehole, do they?
- Jim Royle: [as they prepare to go to The Feathers to celebrate Jim's birthday] Get your coat on, Barb.
- Barbara Royle: [surprised] Taking me with you?
- Jim Royle: No, I'm going to turn the fire off
- [chuckles]
- Jim Royle: Of course I'm taking you. I wouldn't leave you here on me birthday, would I?... Better bring your purse.
- Barbara Royle: [mutters under her breath] Bastard.