Sergeant Doakes: Fuck you!
Dexter Morgan: Okay. Uh, is there something I can...
Sergeant Doakes: Yeah, you can get me your fucking analysis on the blood spatter on these killings! You think I'm here to invite you to my nephew's briss?
Dexter Morgan: [sarcastic] I didn't know you were Jewish!
Sergeant Doakes: Shut the fuck up and write your report already!
Dexter Morgan: Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen, again and again. It has to happen. Nice night. Miami is a great town. I love the Cuban food. Pork sandwiches. My favorite. But I'm hungry for something different now.
Dexter Morgan: Harry and Dorris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest.
Dexter Morgan: Do I see sheets of plastic in your future?
Dexter Morgan: She's the only person in the world who loves me. I think that's nice. I don't have feeling about anything, but if I could have feelings at all, I'd have them for Deb.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] The problem with eating and driving, which I love to do, is not being able to have my hands on the wheel at the 10 and 2 position. It's a matter of public safety.
Dexter Morgan: The only real question I have is why in a building full of cops, all supposedly with a keen insight to the human soul, is Doakes the only one who gets the creep from me.
Dexter Morgan: Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos.
Dexter Morgan: People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That's my burden, I guess.
Mike Donovan: [about killing the boys] I couldn't help myself. I couldn't. Please, you have to understand.
Dexter Morgan: Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can't help myself either. But children - I could never do that. Not like you. Never, ever kids.
Mike Donovan: Why?
Dexter Morgan: I have standards.
Dexter Morgan: Rita's ex-hubby, the crack addict, repeatedly raped her, knocked her around. Ever since then she's been completely uninterested in sex. That works for me!
Dexter Morgan: [last lines of the episode; voiceover about the doll parts in his freezeR] I suppose I should be upset, even feel violated, but I'm not. No, in fact, I think this is a friendly message, like "Hey, wanna play?" and yes, I want to play. I really, really do.
Sergeant Doakes: You give me the fucking creeps, you know that Dexter?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, I know, sorry about that.
Harry Morgan: Okay, so we can't stop this. But maybe... we can do something... to channel it. Use it for good.
Teenage Dexter: How could it ever be good?
Harry Morgan: Son, there are people out there who do really bad things. Terrible people. And the police can't catch them all. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Teenage Dexter: You're saying... they deserve it.
Dexter Morgan: Needless to say I have some unusual habits, yet all these socially acceptable people can't wait to pick up hammers and smash their food to bits. Normal people are so hostile.
Mike Donovan: Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord...
Dexter Morgan: [Slaps him] Stop, that never helped anybody.
Dexter Morgan: [Deb dressed as hooker] Geez Deb, where the hell do you keep your gun?
Dexter Morgan: Talk to me about Jane Saunders.
Jamie Jaworski: Okay, I did her.
Dexter Morgan: How?
Jamie Jaworski: In a movie. A snuff film, but I'm not sorry.
Dexter Morgan: Of course not, and now I'm not sorry either.
[Dexter swings blade for the kill]
Records Supervisor: You have a morbid sense of fun.
Dexter Morgan: That's probably true...
Dexter Morgan: No blood. No sticky, hot, messy, awful blood; no blood at all. Why hadn't I thought of that? No blood. What a beautiful idea!
Dexter Morgan: There's something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you're in a new and daring section of Disney World: Dahmerland!
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] With the solve rate for murders at about twenty percent, Miami is a great place for me. A great place for me to hone my craft. Viva Miami.
Dexter Morgan: [voice over] I always prided myself on being an outsider... but now... I feel the need to connect with someone.
Officer Oliver: [Dexter, at a bloody crime scene, has just explained that they should be looking for someone who is really good with a knife] So, we are looking for a sushi chef?
Dexter Morgan: [deadpan] Yeah... Sushi chef is possible. It wouldn't be my first choice but hey... You never know.
Officer Oliver: Now what?
Dexter Morgan: [excited and pumps his fist] Now I eat!
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Dogs don't like me because of what I sometimes do to their masters.
Lt. Maria Laguerta: So then he must have already had the head with him in the front seat. Huh, that's weird. Why would he keep it there?
Dexter Morgan: I don't know. So he could use a carpool lane
Dexter Morgan: [as killer adverts his eyes from dead bodies] Look! Or I will cut your eyelids right off your face.
Rita Bennett: What am I gonna do?
Dexter Morgan: Don't worry, I'll figure it out.
Dexter Morgan: And I will. I can always see other people's problems more clearly than my own.
Dexter Morgan: [to Deb] Keep the sex suit on when you're talking to the Captain, it'll help your cause.
Dexter Morgan: [first lines]
Dexter Morgan: Tonight's the night. It's going to happen again and again. Has to happen. Nice night. Miami is a great town. I love the Cuban food and pork sandwhiches, my favorite. But I'm hungry for something different, now.
Dexter Morgan: I chose Rita because she is, in her own way, as damaged as me.
Dexter Morgan: Harry was a great cop here in Miami. He taught me how to think like one; he taught me how to cover my tracks. I'm a very neat monster.